My spouse still smokes

[serpas97]

Anyone else has a spouse who still smokes?  I quit first because in the past we both tried and would end up making everyone miserable and failing.  So, I went first and he was suppose to follow 2 months later.  It's been hard the last 2 months, but I'm strong and commited.  The awful smell on his clothes and breath have actually made it easier for me, but hard on our relationship.  Now, he says he's not ready to quit and not sure he wants to any time soon.  I'm mad!!

[warriorprincess]

I dont blame you! I would be pissed. But the good thing is that you have stayed committed to YOUR quit. You cant be responsible for his. Concentrate on YOU and perhaps when he sees how well your doing, he will follow suit

[serpas97]

He keeps saying how proud he is of me to everyone, but it's not enough.  I don't want to be married to a smoker!! I just turned 40 in March and he says this is my mid life crisis.  Maybe, I quit smoking, alcohol, and soda.  I started walking and have lost 12 pounds. I can certainly think of worse crisis to embrace!

[warriorprincess]

He should be proud and probably says those things because he wishes he could be as dedicated as you! 12 pounds!!! OMG your my inspiration! Im freaking out that Im gonna gain weight!! How did you do it? How long have you been quit?

[JonesCarpeDiem]

thats rough. he sounds like an excuser to me. he will excuse himself from any uncomfortable situation.

you didn't quit for him.

if he had any balls, i'd say kick him there but thats just a knee jerk reaction.

its kind of hard to tell someone you don't want to be married to a smoker when you both smoked.

i wish you a long healthy life and hope he decides to quit so you don't have to see

the life smoking can take from someone.

[serpas97]

Warriorprincess, I walk and walk and walk.  When in doubt I walk even if it is just around the building.  I quit sodas and alcohol so that definately helped.  And I drink water, lots of water.  When I really want to smoke, I will pound a bottle of water.  I listen to a stop smoking app on my phone that really has made me feel good about myself "Easy Stop Smoking" by Darren Marks.  I use nicorette minis and am using tictacs to transition off those.  I'm doing great, but there are still days and times that are hard.  I know this is not a short battle but a life long commitment.  My goal for my 40's is to BE happy and healthy. Thank you for your support.  This site has helped me more than once.

[serpas97]

Dale that is exactly how I feel.  My reaction was to walk away from the conversation, but inside I was screaming!!  We both have witnessed the destruction of smoking and I thought that was why we both decided it was past time. 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

please go read the link on my page just below the badge-fitti called, what to expect in the first 4 months. its a roadmap of what we all must go through , what to expect, so you stay with it in knowledge and never succumb because you think the tough times are never going to end.

[warriorprincess]

Wow!! Im super happy for u. Keep me posted. I just addendum as a friend.