My first taste of liberation; however small..

[kristi4]

was when I went out to eat tonight. Usually after dinner, I am dying to go out and smoke. I didn't think of one right away after eating. I was in no hurry. Just made time for more chatting, and not my constant anxiety to feed the monster. It did cross my mind after, hey I'm usually having a cig. right now. It is a small small taste of freedom. I'm in such a hurry to get to the real freedom. I still stare at everybody smoking and still think of cig.'s very often. Still have cravings. Even, tonight without thinking while I was on the phone, I reached to grab my pack of cig's on the table,lol, wait I dont smoke! I thought this comical, like when I go to drive a friends automatic, I always Ram my foot to the floor, thinking there is a clutch cause I'm so used to my stick shift. So many ppl claim to be able to smell better.This/that better. Not me. I can breathe a tiny tiny bit better, but nothing is a-whole-lota anything.lol. Maybe I am a slow healer. I am still hacking up tar and its almost 2weeks. How sad is that.poor poor lungs. I thought of taking this pill, clear lungs, but am really not so sure, I hate putting more crap in my body.

[jen25]

you're doing phenomenally well, girl! you sound like me... i want what i want when i want it. i don't mean that in a bad way, but like what you said about being in a hurry to get to the real freedom... i'm not a patient person and it took me a while to get there too. hang in there girl, you're doing great. ( :

[Denise28]

You have what it takes to make it! I can't remember but I think (for Me) somewhere between weeks 2 and 3, it got better and much easier. Just keep denying it.

[hwc]

Even, tonight without thinking while I was on the phone, I reached to grab my pack of cig's on the table,lol, wait I dont smoke! I thought this comical, like when I go to drive a friends automatic, I always Ram my foot to the floor, thinking there is a clutch cause I'm so used to my stick shift.

Yep. Same deal. The only difference is that, with smoking, you had a physical drug addction as the stern school teacher making sure that you learned to associate all these things (like talking on the phone) with getting your drug reward. Because we all smoked every 30 to 60 minutes, after a few years, we had learned to associate everything we do with smoking. Tell the truth. You probably didn't think you could go to the bathroom without a cigarette first, right? How crazy is that? A newborn baby can do her business without a cigarette. A bear in the woods can do his business without a cigarette. But, we needed a Marlboro first? Talk about delusional...

Anyway, to extinguish these triggers, we have to experience them and not smoke. Quitters are so afraid of the triggers and craves for smoking, but if we didn't experience the triggers, we could never make any progress. They are an essential part of the healing from the addiction. They are a good thing. Most triggers are extinguished after one or two times without smoking. However, there are some really hard-core habits that will take time. For me, it was going out on the deck to smoke when I put a cup of coffee in the microwave. I was still turning to walk to the deck a couple of months after I quit. It wasn't even that I wanted a cigarette. I was just a trained dophin at Sea World. My trainer had thrown me a fish so many times after pouring my coffee that I couldn't help it.

As you have noticed, it all starts to be a little funny after a while.

[lee5]

Kristi, I have been reading your blog the last couple days and seeing how well you are doing with the huirdles and getting over them all. You are doing great and you can do this! Hang in there it just gets a little easier everyday.

[maria12]

I'm not sure when you stop reaching at triggers, phones, ignition switches, after meals, etc. I still have the urge to reach, but not the urge to smoke. I laugh at myself....grab a piece of gum and go on. 😉




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[edith2]

I think you're doing awesome. Everyone's quit is different. Sounds to me like you're doing great because you're starting to notice the benefits of not smoking. The benefits have kept me motivated to keep going and it sounds like they're doing the same with you. Good for you!

[kim18]

Talking on the phone and sitting on my patio with a smoke was HARD to break. I had to stay off it for a month or two to be honest.

Stay strong!

[raymond_clark]

Thank's Kristi and keep up the good work your doing awesome kiddo God Bless you.

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