OK, so it's day 3, and I'm still not smoking...yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last night I was almost on a high I felt so good, I didn't smell, I didn't feel that heaviness in my chest, I didn't look at my children and husband and feel ashamed. I just felt good. I even went to dinner with a friend and had some cider, didn't even crave a cigarette (until we left), but she's a "recovering" smoker too so it was easy to just talk to her about it and let it go. Been taking Chantix, drinking water with lemon and eating oranges. When I really get a craving I just get up and move around, take some deep breaths and reassure myself that this urge will pass.
My main triggers seem to be after eating, getting into my car and of course when H.A.L.T comes into play. Being the mother of a teething 10 month old, being tired is the norm, but I am doing somethings to be more energetic...walking over lunch, eating better, etc...
My biggest challenge--not giving myself permission to do other destructive things instead of smoking---ie: spending the money I am saving on stupid stuff, eating whatever I want, taking frequent breaks to get on facebook or pinterest while at work, and indulging in laziness. GOT TO KEEP ON MOVING!!
The part that sucks: the constant feeling that something is missing, the desire to "have something", that immediate stress relief I felt after the first couple drags (ie:instant gratification), Irrationally believeing that I am losing part of my identity, the struggle with "am I doing this for the right reasons?", the worry that I may give in and how disappointing that would be. Truth being---I liked cigarettes, but I HATE what they do to me, and at this point the consequences of smoking are just too great, and finally my determination and desire have aligned (Thank goodness).
