My Why and Why Not

[Acciosanity]

I think it's important to examine past behavior when creating new habits. What provoked me to pick up the detrimental habit in the first place (or third, in this instance)?

I was 13 when I tried my first cigarette. I grew up with both parents smoking 2 packs a day in the house and car. My parents split when I was 12, and I moved in with my dad, who promptly quit smoking. So I missed the smell. Seriously. I stole cigarettes from my mom, hid them in my violin case (tip for parents there: instrument cases are excellent stash spots), and smoked before and after school. Of course eventually my dad smelled it on me, but I kept irregularly smoking until I was 16, when I started dating my first husband. I quit because it didn't fit in my life anymore. 

I started smoking the second time during my divorce. That was hands down the most horrific experience of my life, and I turned to cigarettes and alcohol for comfort. It was all bad, but there ya go. 

I quit AGAIN in 2013, when I decided once again it didn't fit in my life anymore. It's strange; I was always the one who made the decision to quit. Nobody pressured me. 

And I started again maybe 18 months ago? My depression and anxiety were out of control and trusting constant migraines so I was non functional and hating life. Plus, husband is older and his health is not good. It puts so much pressure on me. Once again seeking comfort. 

And, once again, it's not fitting in my life anymore. I miss being healthy and muscular. I miss my gym friends and feeling proud when I accomplished my physical goals. Plus, my children are 19 and 16, and I promised them I'd quit. They're my heart. My son is working in getting in shape too, so I want to continue that healthy pattern. We both promised each other at the end of last summer we'd be in better shape this summer, with a trip to waterslides as a prize for a combined weight of less than 400lbs. We're both tall and strong so that's a healthy goal. I will never be able to enjoy the waterslides if I'm having a nicotine fit. And I LOVE waterslides (if they're closed down this year I'm gonna have issues).

So the result? I need to find better coping mechanisms for stress and pain. I still love the smell of smoke, but I also love the smell of lilies and I have no desire to ingest a lily. I think my parents had me programmed from a young age to associate the smell with home. They didn't know any better. 

So it's time to stop starting and start stopping (did I just make that up? Ha!).

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Great Post.

Waking up to create your reality.

[meWisconsin]

Setting goals is good. A positive attitude will get you where you want to go.

Keep up the good quit.

Terry

[YoungAtHeart]

GREAT way to plan your reward.  I would get to the top of one of those slides and lose my "stuff!"  I hope they have a chance to open this summer, too!

Sounds like you have quitting pretty much down; staying quit seems to be your sticking point.  You might come up with a plan NOW for what you can do instead of smoke when life happens after you quit this time.  Keep a list of tools handy that you might use when the inevitable happens.  ALWAYS keep in mind that there is NEVER a good reason to smoke; there are only excuses!

You can ALWAYS and forever come here and ask for help.  The characters may change, but the help here (I hope) will never end.  I personally have been volunteering for 7+ years, and others have been here for 10/11/12/14 years.  We LOVE this freedom and want to help as many as we can to achieve and maintain it....so never be shy about coming here!

Nancy

[sweetplt]

...And when you do some research there are so many better and healthier coping mechanisms then smoking...this journey can open a new door...right now it is “one step at a time”...You are doing it...Happy Saturday Colleen 481 DOF ~

[Barbscloud]

Learning new associations and behaviors is what leads to success.  That's why it's so important to have new behaviors in place when life happens.  It's not easy, but you can do.  If you think about smoking reach out the Ex. to help change your thinking.  I know it worked for me.  Keep moving forward one day at a time.

Barb

[maryfreecig]

Quitting and not allowing myself the choice to smoke paved the way to my coping far better than I used to. When the stress (and frustration and anger) were became to great, all the while knowing that smoking was not an option, I had to face whatever was bugging me and ask, 'how can I deal with this a little better.' I made progress, still am today. Half a dozen years ago not long after I quit, I'd fly off the handle everyday about something. Changing my approach was painful--I felt put upon...but eventually coping better has become a part of me. This will always be a one day at a time journey.

[indingrl]

Good start at a NEW MINDSET - New ideas - NEW thinking - replace stop with - N.O.P.E. - YOU are on YOUR way - NON SMOKER CHOICES - ALL YOUR OWN - Yahooooooooooo