Here it is two days later and something is still weighing on my chest. So I am just going to put it out there. I believe it was on Saturday that an EX member who had not been around for awhile wrote a blog and said they had slipped, hadn't had a computer for awhile, and how they were moving forward. Well, they didn't make it clear what they meant by slip. First, I agree with the general consensus that if you smoke, one puff, one cigarette, one pack...that you start the recount. However, on the first blog from this person in months, to right away jump on them and judge and admonish about resetting the quit date, well it doesn't sit right with me. Even if they Had smoked, a little comfort, some support, get back to your quit, etc for the first blog would have been kinder than immed. telling them to set back the clock. That could have come the next day or been done more gently. At the time of the post, I was using my phone. It is fairly easy to read blogs, but not to write comments. So I didn't write at the time. I wish I had. So it was still bothering me today, and I went to re-read it, and found it was deleted. I don't know this Ex, last blog had been in Feb and I quit in April. But I had to say something from me and give my support. I got a reply to my PM and was told it was deleted because there was so much negative comments on this one blog! "I felt like a turd and all the flies just landed on me." This person was having such a hard time with the quit, that they had some NRT. SOME NRT! And they also said that they hadn't been able to come to ex for quite a while since the computer was broken. Well, then everyone was posting, oh nevermind, you are fine. By that time, the hurt was done. The being defensive had already happened.
I want to think of us as being loving, kind, supportive, sympathetic. And for the most part we are. I wish the blog and comments were still there, because in my 114 days, I never saw the comments come rolling in to judge. I remember reading them and saying holy shit was is going on?? Get the facts, and read All the facts in the blog, hold judgement until you know what is going on. Something strange happened on that blog Saturday and it isn't common. This person, that I do not know as I said, also said in reply to my PM that they will not be blogging anymore because they are in general going through a rough time and it was hurtful to get jumped on and put in a position to defend themselves.
I sure hope I haven't put a target on myself. If anything I am too tenderhearted, and it just hurt to see members of my family focus on the "rules" first. There IS a time and place for setting things straight, But not in the first blog.
I did not include the persons name or gender because the blog has been deleted, and to be honest, I don't remember who said what to this person, so I am not targetting any one at all. Thanks for listening.
