If I survive this week a non-smoker, I know I won't have to EVER again. My husband has been home sick with pneumonia since Friday. I'm really starting to lose my sh*t!!!
I'm starting a new part-time job with Life Time Athletic. There's a brandy new one opening near me. While I'm excited, I'm also nervous. There's a lot of online training to do-- I do get paid for it, but that means I'm doing my full-time teaching job, my current part-time gigs PLUS trying to cram in this training while my hubby does NOTHING and watches endless TV.
Now I rationally understand that he is quite sick. But this is REALLY bad timing during week 1-2 of my quit and I'm feeling more than a little overwhelmed. You all should also probably understand, my hubby works evenings, so I am used to doing my own thing from Sunday- Thursday. I don't want TV, it's not on. I want to go somewhere, I do. I don't feel like cooking dinner, no worries. But with him home and sick, there are more expectations on me and nowhere for me to chill and do what I want to do. (I think I mentioned my house is teeny.)
Last night, I chilled outside and did my training. Today, it's raining!!!!
I also need to purge an event I'm not over. He FREAKED out last night because I wasn't cooking and the kids wanted Popeye's. He didn't want that, but I wasn't going a million places so he looked online and saw they had butterfly shrimp. I get there to order and they tell me, no, they haven't had that for months. There's a car behind me so I make the decision that popcorn shrimp was a suitable swap. After he threw a hissy fit in front of the kids, swearing, slamming a chair, refusing to eat and storming off, he blamed ME for not calling him and asking him what he wanted instead!!!
I said very sternly, "I made a call. Maybe it was the wrong one, but it's done now. You better ROLL IT BACK." He took the food back and got something else and when he returned, he did apologize. But I don't think he understands how bad his reaction was. I was embarrassed in front of my kids and hurt by the sheer hatred in his voice and actions. I started to say what upset me and he stopped me and said he just apologized. I think that's what is bugging me. Sure you apologized- but if you stop me and don't let me get my feelings out then you don't really have any idea how you hurt me and what you're apologizing for. I didn't smoke yesterday--but I'm sitting while dinner is cooking, listening to his tv after working all day and helping my kid with an essay and cooking and I'm IRATE. And my heart is pounding and my head is pounding and Zuul is really making a lot of noise.
