My Father

[heidi9]

I am terrified of loosing my Dad.

He is a smoker.

He has smoked for 40 + years.

His arteries in his neck are 100% blocked and inoperable.

This year he suffored 3 consecutive heart attacks.

3 years ago he had a massive heart attack, one they call a "widowmaker". My Brother thankfully was there and gave him C.P.R. In the ambulence he died 3 times.

I am terified of loosing my Dad.

I cannot make him quit. I will not judge him for his choice. They say it is quality not quantity, of life. I am just so scared to loose him! I need him! He may never meet his Grandchildren and they will never know my beautiful, escentric and loving Father. I am encouraging him however, gently because I do not know another way.

[donna22]

Oh Heidi, I too am sorry about your dad...the unfortunate thing is he must want to quit to be successful... your gentle encouragement is probably the best way, perhaps he will realize how you feel. He also may be scared of failing...that would not be unusual.., I don't know if he would be willing to come to this site and just read some of the posts or not, if so I think he would seriously entertain the thought of quitting...

I wish you both the best,

[heidi9]

Thank you both. It is nice to have a place to let out some of these feelings and fears. He has tried everything to quit smoking, from Rx to Hypnosis. Habit is deeply ingrained in our lives. He is such a strong person, it is amazing how gripping nicotine is.

[hothula]

heide, big hugs for you. I hope your dad can quit. maybe suggest some nicotine gum as a replacement for a few of his smokes. I lost my mom right after my daughter was born and not only have I missed her but my daughter never knew her and that is a huge void in both our lives. give your dad a hug and tell him you need him and really want him to try to take a bit better care. hard to parent a parent. I will be thinking of you

[jennie3]

Heidi my heart goes out to you and your Father I do not know what else to say.Everyone has already said it all.I am here if you need an ear.Show him how much you love him every chance you get.Huge Hugs to you my friend you and your Father are in my prayers!

[shereen]

i'm so sorry about your dad. but, honey, don't be terrified of losing him. that will never happen. everything that he really is, his very essence, is inside you. all you will lose is his physical presence. his spirit and his love will always be with you -- nothing, not even death, can take that away. and your children will know that, through you. i'm praying for you and your dad and your family.