Mornings are the hardest for me over here

[JessicaF]

I miss my little morning friends! I realized a few years back that my morning cigarettes were what got me to get out of bed in the morning, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it's what I miss the most. It's hard - I used to get up so nice & early in order to beat the kids & enjoy my morning coffee & smokes & now it's very hard to find a reason to leave my cozy bed. 

I can't believe this is only day 11. I feel like it should be so much longer  Like it's not something I'm trying to do anymore, but something I've already done. Definitely still getting cravings (naptime is my 2nd hardest time of the day next to the mornings), but I don't feel it's an option to do anything to satisfy them. Like right now is basically the only time of day I could go to the store; kids & hubby still sleeping, I could sneak down to the store, smoke my face off & still have time for a shower & to brush my teeth before anyone even woke up. But I just don't feel like that's an option. And I don't ever EVER want to go through that first week of withdrawals again. And I have to admit: whatever all this nasty junk is that I'm coughing up is starting to gross me out. How long will *that* last?

I don't mean to sound cocky/arrogant, but I feel the only way I could relapse at this time would be if I was at a bar with a friend of mine & she had her smokes out on the table. I could see myself throwing everything away in that scenario. Luckily, despite what I previously believed (see last blog post), I do not have any friends to hang out with. And it's not a reason to feel sorry for myself! It's like God Himself handcrafted this quit perfectly JUST for me. I never could have/would have quit if I hadn't lost my job back in March. And the people I worked with were the only people I ever hung out with/smoked with. Now the ONLY people I see every day, Monday through Friday, are my husband & kids. None of whom smoke or want me to smoke. It's like my own little quit smoking inpatient rehab, as far as the isolation goes. If I was still leaving the house every weekend for work, I'm pretty certain I never would have even thought of quitting smoking. Or if I had, I wouldn't have been successful. I think maybe my old smoking friends/coworkers were holding me back from making new friends here in town, too. And that's something I've been desperate to do ever since we moved here. I think I was always self conscious when meeting new people (I'm mostly talking about other parents from my daughter's school) because the fear was always, "Gasp! What if they find out that I smoke?" That shouldn't be a concern anymore & with my job being obsolete, I can participate in school activities a bit more. Get to know people a bit more. 

Looking forward to my first smoke free vacation next week! 

[YoungAtHeart]

Congratulations on 11 days!  Sounds like the "new you" is ready to relearn her life as an ex-smoker.  Friends of your kids' mothers is a GREAT place to start your new friend search !  I have friends from those days still - and that was 30 years ago!!!  Volunteering at their school is a good first start.  You might also take your kids to the local playground (now you won't need to figure out a way to hide and smoke!), or library to meet other Moms.  Do you belong to a house of worship?  That's another good place to start.

You might take a fitness or yoga class, too.  You have extra $$$ in your pocket now you aren't buying smokes to help cover that.

Isn't this journey EXCITING?  I hope you are finding it so!  A whole new world is ripe for exploring to you!

Nancy

[JessicaF]

Thank you Y.A.H.!

We live in a teeny tiny town where everyone grew up together & got pregnant  together & seriously do everything together, so it's been a little tough for me to break into the pack! Feels like all these exclusive little clicks were formed a very long time ago. But that's okay - I'm not looking for a sister or a BFF even; just an adult to talk to once in awhile that I have something in common with. It's encouraging that you're still close with the friends you made so long ago! I would love to be able to say that one day  

Definitely looking forward to doing more volunteer work this year. I was SO limited last year because I worked every single weekend & then during the week I had my smaller children to care for; couldn't exactly tote them along to places. 

Maybe we could start finally going to church...again, something else that was put off partly because I worked every Sunday. 

It IS exciting! I cannot believe I don't smoke anymore. And that's exactly what it feels like. Like I just don't go to the store anymore. I just don't do that anymore. Today is not going to be a day that I smoke. 

[Mandolinrain]

Hey girl, 11 days is awesome! 

Try, and I know it is hard...

but try not to focus on the old routine you had. When you start doing that you can literally cave in this early in your quit. Instead try to divert your attention elsewhere. Now I will say this though.. I like to see when ppl blog out their feelings, so as you do that go back and reread you own words. It will help you resort your energy and you may be able to see where to refocus.

Yoiur doing great, this is hard work, no doubt, but life ahead is only going to improve for you as you are released from this nasty habit. 

Meanwhile , I also relate to small towns. We are out in tin buck two, lol. Farm country. God has you right where he wants you right now. Your recognizing it yourself. Be patient, Good things are coming your way. Stay strong, stay focused , hold up your head and March forward one day at a time. Your doing this. You got this. I am proud of you

[crazymama_Lori]

I know with myself, I switched up my routine and created a whole new one and did it every day.  I work out of my home so I have very little contact with people unless I want to.  Then I go grocery shopping or just looking around a store.  you're bound to run into someone in a small town just to chit-chat with.  You'll have a lot of different emotions surfacing.  I know I isolated myself for almost 6 months, but that was my choosing.  I definitely steering away from any alcohol whatsover.  that was one of my numero uno triggers.  Volunteering at your church sounds like a winner to me or even a hospital or senior center or nursing home.  Sometimes all we need is a little human interaction

[stAn3]

Morning used to be a trigger for me. It was the first thing I did when I got out of bed and the first thing I did when I left the house on the way to work. Two things broke the association for me. 

I started getting treated for my insomnia. I wake up rested every morning, don't need nicotine or caffeine. I have changed my morning routine. I have something else I do first thing when I wake up.

It feels weird at first--doing things without smoking--but every time we do something without smoke my, we rewrite the script. That activity becomes something we no longer associate with smoking. 

[elvan]

JessicaF  When we moved to this town from NY State, I live in VA.  I felt completely alienated.  I went to pick my kids up at school and I was surrounded by Stepford Wives...I will NEVER be accused of being a Stepford Wife or of WANTING to be.  I remember...all of the women had perfect hair and everything matched...their shoes, their jackets...everything.  I was horrified and I felt horrible because on top of the fact that I was a jeans and tee shirt kind of woman, I SMOKED.  I had no idea, at that time, that there were a number of closet smokers there.  Made me laugh when I did find out because they really hid it well and because I was a smoker, I never smelled it...they probably wore very expensive perfumes and had showers in their cars.  I started volunteering at the elementary school level because my kids were both in elementary school, I was a room mother every year and I did everything I could to make events successful for the kids.  When they moved on to middle school and high school, I stayed very involved and I did meet some really wonderful people.  I also volunteered at an outdoor theater in town and got to know people there.  The involvement with people was so important to me, it made me feel like I was part of something that was important.  I was a retired nurse, had to stop working as a nurse because of RA and I needed to be around people.  It was no issue when we were in NY because my family was there, I had friends there I had worked with and friends I had known for YEARS. (There were no Stepford Wives).  

When my youngest graduated from high school and moved onto college, I had no connection to the schools any more and any friends I had smoked.  I got a job at a local university bookstore and then moved on to that same university's law school...working as a cashier. I work now as a cashier in my son and daughter in law's vegetarian/vegan cafe in town.  People are very important to me...I love being around them and I feel as though I am doing SOMETHING.  When the kids were young, it was wonderful to be able to be there for them, to be able to volunteer at the schools...to be able to be active and know that every teacher and school administrator knew who I was.  I still run into those people and I am really glad to have made that connection.  I hope you can become involved in the schools. I don't know the ages of your kids but it is very rewarding.

Have an amazing smoke free vacation next week.  Congratulations on 11 days (11 is a doorway according to numerology).  I wrote a blog when I had been quit for 13 days and it said I had expected it to be a lot easier by now...when I look back on that, I laugh because time goes so slowly at the beginning and then it gets easier and time goes back to "normal."

If you are by any chance a Stepford Wife...please accept my apologies.

Ellen

[maryfreecig]

High five on 11! High five on your commitment. Great blog. 

[Diannnnn]

Congratulations on your 11th day! Cool beans!

Mornings were hard for me when I was doing what I now refer to as my "test quit". I was trying to taper off while using the patch..not a good idea.  Anyhoo, coffee and cigarettes were a ritual for me, until one day I got really pissed off because I lit a cigarette while drinking my coffee and realized it messed with the taste of my wonderful, life giving cup of coffee! That was a biggie for me because I was really focusing on the fact food and drink tasted different to me. It really helped me break that early morning smoking habit. Now the lure of that first cup of coffee gets me out of bed.

Stay strong and keep writing, it helps all of us and those to come!

Dian