Well I'm what might be called a "NEW N OLD" quitster .
I am new to Ex but have a relatively long quit going on 9 years . That's 8 years , full term March 30 th 2020 .
When I first came to the Ex I didn't know how I would be accepted here having a long quit .
My quit was solid . I could have moved on and all would have been good .
So why was I here ?
I believe something drew me here .
When I came here I didn't know what I should do or what I shouldn't do .... what I should share ....what I shouldn't share ...or even where to go to post .
I was as nervous as my first day quit .
All you were strangers .
When the Q closed I wasn't going to return to a quit site at all but still I had such a passion inside to tell others that quitting could be done .
So I searched yet again for a website to call home .
This one had come up as an option listed by friends on the other site but I didn't qualify 
being from out of country .
But ... wait until you hear this .... cause you know what you guys kinda got stuck with me .
I signed up a couple years ago to this site before the rules were changed .
I'd completely forgotten that I had , and I never participated . I never even visited past the point of signing up . Confession 
But you know what's really weird , strange and unusual ?
I still remembered my password .
Weird because you know we are suppose to make passwords weird right lol so I do and I usually don't remember things from one day to the next lol . So how could that be that I remembered that ?
I believe it was meant to be ?
And why ? I think this is the reason .
COPD .
I was diagnosed with copd and denied i had it a good many years and kept it my little secret . What I didn't confess couldn't hurt me .... wrong . It catches up .
As years past , I got a little worse.
It wasn't just asthma anymore ; it was asthma and copd .
Mild COPD was now moderate COPD and asthma . PFTS we're now a must and not a choice .
COPD made me feel bad .
I was embarrassed because COPD was something I did to myself . Asthma is more acceptable .
I was ashamed because I knew what smoking could cause .
I was alone in a new world of disease . Alone to me , not to the world but one that I couldn't hide from anymore .
It included obvious breathlessness to others but the kind only I could understand and knew because I witnessed my father with the same .... and Imdodnt understand then the reality of it all .
No doctor , no personal friend , no family member , no memory of my father's could help me with that feeling of a new and lost world I was now in until I found the Ex .
It led me to a man I hadn't met before and I read his blogs about COPD .
He was full of knowledge and I could tell had a passion to help others learn more about COPD . I soaked it up . Because of a man named Thomas ( cannot tag ) and his blog posts ... a fellow quitster, yet a complete stranger thanks to him I'm not so scared of COPD anymore . So Thomas .... thank you .
Continuing with your posts IMO is important , but up to you of course .
You are valuable to this community and beyond .
Your blogs were important to me and I'm sure important to many more to come so please keep sharing your testimony and your story . There is another page, another chapter ...perhaps even a book .
All any of us have today is this moment in time .
Covid has taught us all a lot too .
Thank you Ex .. I appreciate you all .
Celebrating 9 years , ( my best quit ever ) surpassing a previous 8 years .. June 30 2020 .
I. M. Grateful . I. M . Thankful
Maki
