Missing Ex-er's Supporting Words

[minihorses]

It's sad but I feel like a stranger around here.  I haven't had the time or the energy to be on the boards much lately.  I miss being able to give support to others on their journey from newbies to old timers.  I've written a few blogs but deleted them before posting.  It didn't seem right to post my goings on without being a support to others.  Besides, I'm an absolute wreck other than being a non-smoker.  That is the one thing that is going great.  Had some really, really tough situations come by that would have sent me running to the store but it didn't even cross my mind.  So for anyone who is unsure about the power that certain phrases have to keep you on track I'd like to offer my 2 cents.  These words are like the golden rule; learn them, follow them, live by them.  It really does work!!

I don't smoke anymore. That's in the past and the past is done!

I am an addict when it comes to nicotine.  I am in rehab, drying out and learning to live without my drug.

Smoking didn't change anything before which proves that it won't help or change anything now.

I am stronger than I give myself credit for so I can do this!

The next time I say I want or need a smoke, ask myself first if I want or need COPD, Emphysema, Cancer, etc. and the answer is N.O.P.E.!

I have now gone over 8 months being a non-smoker after 35 years and a million quits that never went this distance. It really amazes me and I couldn't have done it without everyone on EX!  Thank you all and I hope I can be around here more often than I have.

Julie

[Gma_Bernie]

Julie,

I've been away too. Coming up on 18 months but I didn't get mentioned in the Elders post. I don't care.

Like you, I haven't smoked but I kind of feel like a dry drunk. I'm angry. 

My rheumatologist said, "oh, it's only been a year since you quit?" That kind of helped me put things in perspective. I smoked for 45 years. I still dream of it sometimes and when I smell it, I like the smell.

I would not be surprised if I have lung cancer. I don't feel good at all. Lots of conditions, disorders, autoimmune things going on 

Most days I just don't have the energy to do much..

I gotta go. Make dinner.  Let's keep in touch.

Bernie

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Julie, you are our Family - that means you can't not belong! Many of the Elders are partying in Virginia Beach right now but some of us couldn't go so we're still around!

I can't express in words how proud I am of you for showing us that you, too, can and did do this! Again, folks if I can - then you can, too! Believe it!

Thanks, Julie, for inspiring others with your remarkable experience. Please know that you are allowed to take blogcations. Have you noticed that I go MIA quite frequently? We all understand that Life gets complicated but we refuse to smoke over it! So feel free to take breaks when you need to. And take care of yourself and your Wonderful Recovery from Nicotine!

[YoungAtHeart]

So sorry you have been having rough times - but LOVE the list you have posted to help get you through them without smoking.

Don't ever hesitate to post here - we are a full-emotion caregiver - and maybe we can at least give you a safe place to vent.

Happy to see you!  You have been missed!

Nancy

[sweetplt]

 Julie, You shouldn’t feel like a stranger...You are not a stranger to me as a quitter...8 months is super...sometimes I think to check on people when I don’t see them around here, but it is hard when I am committed to helping all those blogging...I am truly sorry you feel this way...Your blog is excellent...Thanks for sharing...~ Colleen 165 DOF 

[MarilynH]

Thank you for great post Julie CONGRATULATIONS on your precious quit journey YAY for Smokefree living and YAY each and every Day WON, huge caring hug coming your way ......

[MarilynH]

I'm so sorry that you're not feeling well BUT congratulations on over 18 months of Smokefree living, I don't know about you not getting mentioned on the Elders post but I do know that it's great stacking up each and every Day WON. Gma_Bernie‌

[Gma_Bernie]

Thank you Marilyn.

[MarilynH]

I'm so glad that you are back with all of us Bernie, we're all here for you......

[SimplySheri]

So good to see you, Julie   I'm sorry you are going through rough times but how marvelous you are going through them without losing your precious quit!  And to top it all off, you offer hope and support to others  You are just wonderful and I totally appreciate you!!!!

[SimplySheri]

Gma_Bernie‌, I hear you    I am on the elder list but unfortunately I have no smiley face by my name even though I am extremely and annoyingly active.  My quit is what's important...and being able to help others realize they can quit, too   Congratulations on your wonderful 18 month quit!!!  I hope you celebrated.  You earned it and you are important.  

[indingrl]

CONGRATS ON 8 MONTH'S NON SMOKER LIVING ONE BREATH AT A TIME! Yahoooooooooo WAY TO GO JULIE!!! GOOD JOB!

[sweetplt]

Congratulations Gma_Bernie on 18 months of Freedom...I don’t know what the Elders list is, but Mark (Administrator) does celebration’s daily ... perhaps you can put your quit date in, by pming him ... I am not very good on site items other than encouraging quitters and nurturing my own quit ... hope that helps you out ~ Colleen 165 DOF 

[anaussiemom]

JUJU   minihorses thought you were going to 7EX get together no?

[minihorses]

No. Couldn't afford it. The friends we were going to stay with aren't home this weekend   .

[Barbscloud]

Congrats your continued quit.  You're missed, so do feel bad about posting.  That's what we're here for.

Barb

[Christine13]

I was wondering where you've been Julie.  Don't be a stranger!  Congrats on 8 months and your blog gives me a lot of hope!  

[Gma_Bernie]

Colleen,

Congratulations on 165 days off freedom!

Nancy sent me instructions how to get my name on the list.

You go back to my quit and update your quit date, then log out of

becomeanex.org and log back in and magically, my name appeared on the list.

Thank you and keep up the good work!

Bernie

On Fri, May 17, 2019, 7:54 PM sweetplt <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>

[Gma_Bernie]

Dancing thru life,

Thank you. Nancy helped me figure out how to get my name on the list.

Thanks for the congrats.

The quit IS the most important. Amen!

You are a star!

Bernie

On Fri, May 17, 2019, 7:15 PM Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 <

[sweetplt]

Thank you Bernie Gma_Bernie for sharing...ok I have done this already...maybe I didn’t realize they call it the Elder’s List...sometimes my brain takes some time to figure out what I am doing...Have a great day Bernie...~ Colleen 

[Sootie]

Congratulations on getting through life's stresses not smoking!! That's what it's all about!!! Everyone can only post as they feel "the spirit move them!" I hardly ever blog any more...but I try to comment when I feel I can do some good. You hang in......you are doing great!!!!

[djmurray]

Oh, Nancy -- I love that phrase -- "a full emotion caregiver."  We missed you so much this weekend -- you were definitely with us in spirit. 

[elvan]

Julie,

I am so sorry you have been going through difficult times but please don't ever feel like you cannot share them here.  Sometimes, just venting helps YOU and someone else at the same time.  You do not always have to be offering only words of support.  This is a big group but you were missed.

Gma_Bernie‌ I just asked about you at the reunion because I have not heard from you in a long time.  You, TOO, are missed.  I am so sorry that you are not feeling well...you know how to reach me.

Love,

Ellen

[Stardom]

Goodnite I am Tonia from Trinidad and Tobago, struggling with my quit for about 5 years now. I've tried gums, patches, vapes, but they all failed. I believe it's all in my mind. The struggle is extremely real with all my struggles (triggers), yet, it's the first time, since trying and reading all these blogs and notes, I finally feel I am letting go of it. It is gonna take some time but I set my quit date for the 15th June. I have gone from 2 packs to 10 cigs. I have also developed Ulcerated stomach which only gets worse from smoking. Thank you and all for your kindest support. Everyday.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

None of the things you mention will quit FOR you!  They can help with the physical aspect of the addiction, but there is also a psychological part to it that you have to conquer.   Read on to better understand it.

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion,  3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire and 4) you can become addicted to that and it has not yet been proven safe .
 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[elvan]

Stardom This is a journey and while it is one day at a time...it can actually be one feeling at a time.  You can do this, I think your statement, "I finally feel I am letting go of it".  I used the mantra NOPE when I came here, Not One Puff Ever and I came to the site first thing in the morning and last thing at the end of the day.  I read blogs, I commented, I asked for advice and I took it, no questions asked.  I knew these people were here to help me and they have never let me down.

Welcome to EX,

Ellen

[Giulia]

Great list of supporting words, Julie.  Here's a link to some more positive phrases that might help:  Quick Quips‌  So glad you've clung to you quit despite the rough times! 

(SimplySheri‌  As I say on the Elder's List:   "If you are active and don't have a smiley, let me know."  I've added a smilie for you.  I removed it at one point when you left for a period of time and weren't active.  Just forgot to put it back.  Sorry.)

[SimplySheri]

No worries, Giulia  

[Mandolinrain]

My apologies for just seeing this. I am SO darn proud of you for going through all of that and NOT lighting up.I am sending cyber hugs and love to you.~Missy