I have found something that is helping me. I was on my tablet and saw these chapters called whyquit.com. I can't find this when I log into the site on my computer. Weird. I see the video's and such. Are they there? So afraid my tablet is going to lose them! Anyway, if you are struggling, find these. It is a study on addiction. This is where people like me need to start! I needed to learn how the addict thinks. The addict they describe is me. Remember the questions, I was asking? They address it. I was experiencing things I could not understand every time I tried to stop. I am and still am one twisted person but the chapters on addition tell me this is normal. My addiction had me convinced that I could not survive another crisis without "it". And about every 2 hours when the nicotine starts to wear off, it calls to you again. I did experience this about every to hours. I would feel I could cope with life when I was with "it". Twisted huh? Yep that is me. Question for you. It refers to a 2 hour half life. What does that mean? Cigarettes do give you that Ahh moment it is true, it also goes on to say it fills you with lies, promises it will always be there for you but all along it is planning to take your life. So so interesting. I have seen a professional nicotine counselor (didn't work) but they did not teach me that an addiction almost does take on a persona. When you get your first few puffs you do start to come down from your ripping high tide of anxiety, or at least it makes you think that. I have a long ways to go. Again what does 2 hour half life mean?
