Maybe i am never going to be ready...

[amymoore41673]

So many times in the last few months I've built myself up to let myself fail again and again. I've put my quit date out another week again... Seems I find an excuse or something happens to put me into a panic attack the day I chose to quit. Maybe I'll always be a smoker obviously knowing that it may kill me eventually doesnt seem to be enough to make me stop for good. I have too many excuses and triggers that are not easy to get rid of. Keep praying for me, I will get there someday!

[Maki]

Admittance is a good start and you've just done that , so what's the next step do you think to getting past all the excuses ? It's your quit . 

Marilyn posted some good memes this morning . I can't is negative and usually negative will attract negative . I know it's hard to be positive or even understand it at first but that will come.  Another great post this morning you might read  is entitled baby steps . Take baby steps . Come here share , post blog , play some games with us , we are all in this together . You are not alone . I thought the same when I started .. I started with only a pin size bit of hope that I might quit , but that's all it takes to sew a quit into something good . The action of getting that thread prepared can  be tricky but essential .

Take action now and do something different .. we aren't here to judge just to encourage .  Don't quit ,  don't give up , don't weep because your sdfict self is saying no ... get started now . 

Believe in yourself just even a tiny bit more ok .

Refuse to lose . Be there for you this time , tell your addiction you ARE going to win . Kick it's butt and it's white tube suit and it's package to the curb lol . Give it the boot !

You of all people know you best and the answer you need to get started and you know  what you need to do to quit believing the lies your addiction is feeding you . Don't listen to addiction listen to your heart .  Get angry at those excuses and triggers . They don't have to control you or take away your decision to quit anymore and they only will if you let them.

You are the piolet we are your passengers  . We are along for the ride and will journey with you . 

We are here for you , the site is here for you . It's equipped with tools to help you , but you need  to do your part . Read maybe blogs and the best of ex , the mayo blogs , play some games when craves are most difficult , join the get moving group or other groups that might interest you .

You will quit . We will be patient for you to decide when .

Check out H.A.L.T. also the D s , drill them into your thoughts to help you through . You really can do this , and yes as you asked I will keep you in my thoughts . Prayer is something you could do . Absolutely your own belief and faith can help.

We all work together  here . The site is your team support . You will never walk alone. 

 You got friends here . Post , don't smoke . 

Thanks for your post . It is really good you did , now hopefully it can help you work things through . 

[djmurray]

Hi, Amy -- So many of us have been where you are.  I thought I would be the last smoker on the planet because I loved smoking so much, and here I'm closing in on six years quit.  I imagine your anxiety is grounded in the fact that you'll be losing a "friend" who's always with you.  I felt the same way too when I contemplated quitting.  As a matter of fact, I first came to EX in the early part of 2014 when I decided to quit.  I blogged about how afraid I was and that quit didn't last until the rest of that day.  Then when I could no longer deny my COPD, I decided I had to quit, which I did on New Year's Eve 2014. 

Have you read Allen Carr's The Easy Way to Stop Smoking?  If not, you can find it on You Tube to watch, or you can probably get it on Amazon.  That book completely changed the way I think about smoking.  Oh, and he encourages you to smoke while you're reading it!

That book, this community here at EX and my own attitude adjustments made this a successful and happy quit.  So stay close to this group.  I committed to blogging every day for the first 30 days and as it turned out I blogged almost every day for the first year.  So read other blogs and write you own.  We care how you're feeling each and every day, and you will find support if you're happy, sad, scared, anxious, confused or angry.  Almost everyone who quits smoking obsesses about smoking constantly for the first couple of weeks and spending as much time as possible on this site channels that obsession into positive views of the value of quitting and the help to quit.

And finally, I found this piece about our "friend" to be helpful to remind myself of what smoking is really like.  I didn't write it, and unfortunately I don't know who did, but I think you'll agree it covers why we strive to break up with that "friend.":

How do you feel about a friend who has to go everywhere with you? Not only does he tag along all the time, but since he is so offensive and vulgar, you become unwelcome when with him. He has a peculiar odor that sticks to you wherever you go. Others think both of you stink.

He controls you totally. When he says jump, you jump. Sometimes in the middle of a blizzard or storm, he wants you to come to the store and pick him up. You would give your spouse hell if he or she did that to you all the time, but you can't argue with your friend. Sometimes, when you are out at a movie or play he says he wants you to go stand in the lobby with him and miss important scenes. Since he calls all the shots in your life, you go. Your friend doesn't like your choice of clothing either. Instead of politely telling you that you have lousy taste, he burns little holes in these items so you will want to throw them out. Sometimes, he tires of the furniture and gets rid of it too. Occasionally, he gets really nasty and decides the whole house must go.

He gets pretty expensive to support. Not only is his knack of property destruction costly, but you must pay to keep him with you. In fact, he will cost you thousands of dollars over your lifetime. And you can count on one thing, he will never pay you a penny in return.

Often at picnics you watch others playing vigorous activities and having lots of fun doing them. But your friend won't let you. He doesn't believe in physical activity. In his opinion, you are too old to have that kind of fun. So he kind of sits on your chest and makes it difficult for you to breathe. Now you don't want to go off and play with other people when you can't breathe, do you?

Your friend does not believe in being healthy. He is really repulsed by the thought of you living a long and productive life. So every chance he gets he makes you sick. He helps you catch colds and flu. Not just by running out in the middle of the lousy weather to pick him up at the store. He is more creative than that. He carries thousands of poisons with him which he constantly blows in your face. When you inhale some of them, they wipe out cilia in your lungs which would have helped you prevent these diseases.

But colds and flu are just his form of child's play. He especially likes diseases that slowly cripple you - like emphysema. He considers this disease great. Once he gets you to have this, you will give up all your other friends, family, career goals, activities - everything. You will just sit home and caress him, telling him what a great friend he is while you desperately gasp for air.

But eventually your friend tires of you. He decides he no longer wishes to have your company. Instead of letting you go your separate ways, he decides to kill you. He has a wonderful arsenal of weapons behind him. In fact, he has been plotting your death since the day you met him. He picked all the top killers in society and did everything in his power to ensure you would get one of them. He overworked your heart and lungs. He clogged up the arteries to your heart, brain, and every other part of your body. In case you were too strong to succumb to this, he constantly exposed you to cancer-causing agents. He knew he would get you sooner or later.

Well, this is the story of your "friend," your cigarette. No real friend would do all this to you. Cigarettes are the worst possible enemies you ever had. They are expensive, addictive, socially unacceptable, and deadly. Consider all this and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

Amy, you may not be ready to quit today, but at the very least spend as much time as possible here, read and reach out. You CAN do this!

[marciem]

Hi there, amymoore41673‌ !! WELCOME!  Congratulations on making the important decision to quit smoking!!  It is the best thing you can do for yourself and for your loved ones.

You've gotten some wonderful posts above me.  I'll get to my point and advice, which is:  Don't put off til tomorrow or Monday or next week or new years eve or your birthday what you can very well do today.  Giving yourself time to get worked up about it can be your worst enemy if you let it.  You've done some homework already, and probably made plan after plan.  If you need a new plan, it only takes 10 minutes, not 10 days, to make it and start on it.

Admitting you are addicted and as such will find any and every "reason" (excuse) to put off quitting that there is, is an important first step.  Too much stress, too bored, not enough to do with my time, too busy, holiday coming, "i love smoking" etc. etc. etc. and the list is endless.  There is never a good reason to smoke, only an excuse.

You CAN do this.  You have to want it, and you have to commit to it.  Know that it will not be easier tomorrow or some other later time.  You will not die from quitting.  You might die or become disabled from smoking.

Best wishes to you!!  Keep posting, you can't hold a cigarette and type   .  Same with showers, when you crave jump in the shower...  Always worked for me LOL!

[amymoore41673]

I just downloaded Allan Carr's Book on my Kindle app. In all my attempts I keep adding more tools/strategies to quit. I will not give up even though I feel defeated today! Thank you for this ^^!

[amymoore41673]

Thank you! Much appreciated to have a community of people I can be completely honest with while being honest with myself at the same time! 

[amymoore41673]

Thank you, your words and support mean a lot!

[indingrl]

Thank you for sharing your self honesty - you are very courageous - the tool I have is when a crave hits and it will - I bite into a lemon peel and all - this brings ME back into the moment of MY day - WE live in seconds and minutes of a day - Not One Puff Ever - n.o.p.e. is the slogan I say OUT loud for ME to hold on until I get here and blog BEFORE I take that first puff over ME - I am glad your here and I am very proud you want to live nicotine free

[Barbscloud]

Don't give up.  It's taken many of us multiple attempts to finally quit.   I overcame my fear of quitting this time when I realized f I could smoke again if I choose to.  Nothing was stopping me.  Not looking at from the perspective that it was forever helped me to get past the initial inertia of not trying.

One day a a time works.

Barb

[maryfreecig]

Everyone can quit. There are no exceptions.

You might ask yourself this question; If I was ready to quit, would I? 

If the answer is yes, then the next question is--what will it take to get yourself ready? Can you answer to yourself that question?

Everyday someone is quitting and succeeding. They have no special gift to quit, no talent for a successful quit, but they do quit just the same. Quitting comes one day at a time, not one week at a time, or a month at a time or a year--just for today. But day by day as you quit you get to rediscover what you once knew, how to do anything without smoking including getting upset!

Anxiety is a common complaint among quitters. So you have plenty of company here at Ex. But it doesn't have to be a road block for your quit. Facing life's problems without smoking is a major topic here at Ex so please stay tuned.

Yes, you absolutely can choose to quit, believe it and achieve it.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to the community!

You say you keep adding tools/strategies, but have you planned how you might use them?  If not - DO it!  Write down what you will do instead of lighting up with your first cup of coffee  - maybe a frozen Hershey Kiss instead?  When stress hits out of nowhere - THIS breathing exercise:

When you are bored, how about a jigsaw or crossword puzzle?  Commit to this and make a plan.  Then follow it!

You didn't mention if you have used a quit aid in your other attempts, of if you might try one this time.  Some people are successful going Smart Turkey (cold turkey) and some have found success with an aid.  If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for obvious reasons.

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[sweetplt]

amymoore41673 We all had excuses, but had to let them go...and live life on her terms...there will always be excuses, but not always “your choice”...don’t wait for that bad diagnosis, try for one day and let the next one take care of itself...read the posts here and educated yourself on being an addict...it will help...we are here for you....and will help...Colleen 704 DOF