WOW did I have a major league pity party last night. Got my fab new hot tub which I have been wanting forever. Then went to put on one of my several bathing suits - mind you I haven't worn them in a few years - nothing fit! Just became over emotional and bawled. Its not that I am a big girl 5'4' 125lbs small framed but any weight I gain goes straight to my gut or my butt. On a small build person it looks like I am 5 months along - yeah right at 49 PLEEZE! I can see why people gain and start smoking again. Held in there going on week 3 but I still feel miserable. Can't look in the mirror without disgust and being fall good luck finding a swim suit. So what did I do.... ate a ton of fried food and cried some more. Feeling really low today... not happy with myself but at least I didn't smoke but I really really wanted too.
