Love/Hate relationship

[lsparkles65]

I began my love/hate relationship 17 years ago. I was 21. I  have always struggled with anxiety and depression and this little poison comforted me. I enjoyed it. Despite all the risks and warnings, it became a fun companion to take with me..in the car, hanging out, drinks...whether I was happy, sad, mad, bored, anxious, full...it was there to trick me into thinking I needed it. Thinking it was harmless to have only a few a day, I didn't realize I was leashing a beast in my head by making the choice to smoke. Whether I quit today or "tomorrow", I will face the inevitable consequences...of the hard reality. Smoking will eventually conquer my health or I will go through a mental war to beat the monster. The choices I make today affect my tomorrow, just like starting this love/hate affair when I was 21..has affected me since. Ugh. I can't undo it and I can't remove my desire to want to smoke. I just breathe and remind myself it's unhealthy to be dependent on a liar. It's up to me whether or not I want it to contol me. But I must say it sucks!!!!!

[JACKIE1-25-15]

You may not be able to undo the effects of smoking but you can conquer the addiction.  Just like bad relationships we get over them and move on.  But it takes a willingness to let go, time to heal and work to relearn certain behavior and thinking so you love yourself more than a cigarette/bad relationship.  Stay close, read study blog, believe that you can. 

[lsparkles65]

I'm 5 days into my quit. Feel like I'm going a little crazy. I can't figure out why I'm thinking about it more than I ever did when I smoked. I went hours without a cigarette and I can't go 30 min without thinking about it now. Ugh!!!

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Congratulations on 5 days.  If you can do 5 you can keep going. You think about it because that is what you have done for so long.  It is just more awareness because you are not smoking. https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2008/05/03/things-to-do-instead-of-smoking Here is a list of things you can do to distract.  Do not give up

[Barbscloud]

Congrats on 5 days.  That's a wonderful start.  It is harder at the beginning; that's why they call it hell week.  We've been associating every thing we do with smoking--the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Even when the nicotine is out of your system, the psychological associations are hard work to break.   Many have us have smoked more than 17 years, so you have a head start on us. Stay strong.   We're here to support you, so reach out if you need help.

105 DOF

[desiree465]

It's really hard to change your life style like this. Believe me smoking is a lifestyle. We smoked for every thing. Think about it, I couldn't even get in my car, eat a meal, surf the web, or have a beer without thinking hey I need to light up. Because of that it's not just the nicotine withdraw that drives us nutty its the change to our routine. 5 days is a huge accomplishment that not everyone can do so don't give up on yourself. We are here for you, and I can say that it will get better even though now it probably feels like you'll never feel good again. 

[YoungAtHeart]

You are right on schedule - "thinking about smoking ALL the time?"  YEP!  Right on schedule.

Those brain sensors you are depriving are going crazy, jonesing for their fix  and they don't understand why you aren't listening....you always did before  right?  In reality, though, you probably thought about smoking a LOT during your day. 

"Is it time for my break yet?"

"I wonder if I have time for a quick smoke before this chore/meeting?"

"Where IS my lighter?"

"They are calling for bad weather!  Do I have enough cigarettes on hand to tide me over?"

"I wonder if I will be able to smoke at the (fill in blank) party?"

"I wish this guy would just shut up already.  I need a cigarette!?"

"Gosh, that was a great meal, but I wish my friends would just shut up already so i can get a smoke!"

Interesting, no?

Hang in there; it DOES get easier!

Nancy

[Barb102]

5 days is great. Remember day 1? You are so much stronger today. There are so many better things to be thinking about throughput the day. Stay strong. Take the daily pledge and stay with us. We will do this together. There is always a hand out to support you

Barb

[elvan]

Good for you...I remember wondering if I would ever think about anything EXCEPT smoking...I am happy to say that it passed and with each smoke free day, it became a little easier.  Sometimes, microscopically but it got better.  My husband is a recovering alcoholic and when I told him I was going out of my mind thinking about smoking, he gave me some advice that worked for him.  He told me to get down on my knees and to pray to have the mental obsession removed.  I will admit that I did not really expect it to work but I did it and I was STUNNED because it DID help.  I had to do it more than once but each time I did it...I felt something growing in me.  Smoking is a horrible and powerful addiction and recovery is one day at a time but it gets so much easier!

Ellen

[constanceclum]

Choose life. You'll get over the nicotine beast. In fact it starts getting easier rather quickly (not easy, just easier) Most of it is out of your system already. Think of the positive things you are gaining, better health and more money just to name a couple.

Connie

[maryfreecig]

It's the addiction. Nicotine addiction when smoking is like getting a 13 to 16 hour regular dosage. Good news is that you will get better--the addiction will fade and you won't have to think about it.

Not unusual to feel crazy at 5. Congratulations on your progress, keep those smober days coming.

Links to a few blogs you might find useful

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2018/01/31/re-learning-rewards 

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2017/12/07/behavioral-substitutes