Ok so my stop day is tomorrow my friend came and took me to eat and to the super store aka WalMart to get a few things I needed in general and for my kit. Somewhere between eating and almost though WM- we had seperated- I realized I lost my cig.'s of which I had figured to have enough for though the day... had it planned perfect! ASAP I headed for the checkout to buy a pack she called to see where I was while I was waiting ti ck out and I answered with 'I LOST MY FREAKING CIGERRATTES!" I stopped right there because that is not me and apologized to all around me. It wasn't exactly a yell bc I don't have that in me much and was getting tired-am really tired and the fear almost took over. I don't know what I'm going to do with the cig.'s I have left at the end of tonight flushing them is the only safe way to keep them out of my hands I can think of. I have a better hold of myself now and am trying to get back to tomorrow being good and positive the beginning of a new life a able to breathe life. I know everything I want is on the other side of fear which is nothing but False Evidence Appearing Real!!
