So I've finally made it through an entire week without smoking. I'm shocked that I've made it this far, yet I'm not at the same time because I don't like disappointing myself or others.. and knew I couldn't give in. I feel pretty good, and I'm happy that I chose to do this. I'm not entirely sure that I will successfully stay true to NTAP, since I haven't really put myself in that situation, but as much as smoking does attract me.. it also repulses me at the same time. It's like a love/hate situation.. well, I used to love it.. and now I just feel indifferent towards it.. sure, I feel like I miss it, but I know how terrible it is.. and that it was controlling me... and I know that as invincible as I may feel sometimes, the "it will never happen to me" way of thinking is bullsh*t because diseases and sickness do not discriminate, especially when you are provoking it yourself. I've been moody.. and I've been happy.. and I sure as hell have been hungry! I've been miserable and I've been strong. I can't say I'm jealous of those that have slipped.. but it always makes me want to do the same when I hear about it.. I haven't so far.. but I also haven't been around many smokers socially yet. I want to thank you all for the amazing support, I know that I can conquer this battle. I know I don't need this in my life. If I do end up slipping, I apologize to all of you in advance.. but I don't plan on it. I hope you all keep up the excellent work! 😃
