Long Slow Process

[jestersnow72]

I have been chain smoking since I was 14 years old.  I am now 49. I have only tried to quit a couple times in my life and each time I stayed smoke free for 14 days and I was absolutely miserable. I have no idea what on earth I would do without it. It is like my best friend, what I always turn to and it's there no matter what. I don't know what to do with my hands or how to actually fight these cravings. I have not attempted to quit again, yet but I did set a quit date. I just cannot seem to get my mind around this. I have had COPD for many years, and it is starting to catch up with me and I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to quit. I've had friends tell me that I'll probably still smoke when I'm on oxygen and the way things are right now, I would have to agree. This is a very long slow process for me. Until something comes along to make this easy, I don't know if I'll ever accomplish this goal. It's too much to wrap my mind around. I wish I had never started. I started smoking in high school to be cool like the cool kids. How totally ignorant. What was I thinking? 

[Kimshine]

This is how most of us started smoking. I started smoking at 11 and I'm 53 now. Unfortunately, quitting smoking isn't easy at all, not just for you but for every one of us addicts. You're likely going to be miserable for quite awhile. We want our drug. You're not the only one that feels like cigarettes were or are our "friend". We use them for every emotion we ever experienced. I can tell you that you and your friend have a very one-sided relationship. You do all the giving (of your money and your life) while your friend does all the taking. Cigarettes were the only "friend" that I allowed to kill me.

I hope you make a commitment to quit. This is a really helpful community but unfortunately there's no magic and you have to do the work. It's very uncomfortable for a long time. I am 90 days in and It is much easier now but there are still hard times. I just had to make the commitment that I wouldn't smoke another cigarette no matter how much I wanted one and no matter how uncomfortable I felt not smoking.

If you ever would like to do this, we will be a community that will offer you much support. ❤️

[JustinHoot99]

I'm not a huge fan of nicotene replacement therapy, although I have seen it work.  Have tried it in conjunction w/ any of the many other suggestions for how to quit on here?  I will say the nervous trepidation you are feeling is common to most all smokers / nicotene addicts when they consider quitting.  We can't fathom life w/o something we have sucked on for years on end.
Did you use a support group like this on your previous attempts?  I've tried it in the past w/o a support group and it really does suck then.  No one that is going through it to talk to, or who really wants to hear you talk and unload as often as you want.
Group support really can make a difference.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome!

The first couple of weeks of a quit suck; they just do.  The only way out of them is through.  You must make up your mind that you will endure, knowing it WILL get easier, you WILL be free and, believe it or not, eventually you won't miss your "friend" at all.  You will find better, healthier ways to deal with stress and boredom and happiness and sadness and loneliness without it!  I, too, thought I was going to be the last smoker standing, until quitting was a better option than the alternative.  I quit on my first and only attempt at it over nine years ago.  You can, too!  Let us help!  Do the reading, planning, preparation and commit to never smoking another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT.  Easy?  No!  Doable? Absolutely!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.”    You can search for it online or at your local library.  Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCqSIbAFKPs

From my own experience and that of others here, if you decide to use a quit aid, I recommend those that don't let the addict control the dose such as Rx drugs and the patch.

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! .  Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. You might visit “Games”: The active ones are at the top of the list going down the left side of the page.

Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/t5/Journals-Blogs/101-Things-to-Do-Instead-of-Smoke/ba-p/1028319

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[Kimshine]

@jestersnow72 I highly recommend doing the reading and getting all the knowledge of nicotine addiction that you can get your hands on. It will help you understand the addiction which will help you with your quit.

[Snowdoggie]

@jestersnow72 Welcome to Ex. I hope you will quit. Even though it won't be easy we will be here for you. There are many here who's footsteps we follow in. Try to read all the materials Nancy and the other elders post and stay connected to the website. I am on day 52 and working hard . I never dreamed I could make it this far. All the best.

[jestersnow72]

Thank you. I'll keep up on everything on here and maybe it will all click in my mind. Thank you for your support and comments 

[Kimshine]

@jestersnow72 Do you have any hobbies like puzzles or crafting or tinkering with things that you could do to keep your hands busy? Keeping my hands busy isn't one of the things that bothered me, I am a cleaning nut at home and in my yard but I know it causes problems for others. Just a thought for you to keep your hands busy. Some people pretended to smoke straws and when I was with friends that smoked, I used a cinnamon stick to pretend to smoke. 

[Barbscloud]

@jestersnow72 A little late, but wanted to add my welcome.  Follow the advice given above and stay close.

We're here for you.

Barb

[Maki]

You can do it . Do it with friends here who can be your eyes looking forward . We all started where you are today , scared , nervous, thinking we couldn't live without them and  not knowing what we could do without the constant crutch in our hand .

As you continue reading here and taking a day at a time you will gain the knowledge and tools you will need to see yourself through this . You will have support and you will have others who completely understand your feelings every step of the way . 

Pull up a chair , stay with us for the long haul . No matter what you can become an Ex smoker . The Miracle quit aide is not the patch , not the NRT , they are just aides to help , the miracle and making st efficient aide to quitting is you. Learn how you can help . Action to quit over a reaction to smoke . The actions you take and the decisions you make will determine your success. There are tools we can show you as ex smokers to help . 

Choose an NRT or cold turkey , pick your date , sorry forgot if you've already chosen one . We don't have to prove to people we can quit just accept And welcome the dback cision we made tonquit and all that goes with it to never have this horrible addiction control our lives. Control is peace of mind , a calm within ourselves that doesn't need a cigarette to fix anything . Be patient tho it won't happen overnight or in three weeks or three months but who cares how long I think takes we want to be quit forever right . I can promise you it will be very much easier after you go through the first four seasons smoke free . 

[tracy0924]

@jestersnow72 I just wanted to say welcome to EX. You have received a lot of excellent advice above. The same advice I received when I came to quit over 162 days ago. No I didn’t think I would be able to quit the first time, because I had failed many times before. But with this group support as well as the use of NRT (patches and nicotine gum for the recommended period of time only) I have been able to get to 162 days free of cigarettes and I can’t imagine going back. I have had a lot of ups and downs, hitting a lot of huge road bumps along the way, but I have not started smoking again! If you follow the advice given you can do the same. I hope that you will give it a good effort because your health is very much worth it! 

Tracy🤗💕

[maryfreecig]

I hear you and believe you about your chain smoking--and that you cannot imagine life without smoking. I believe you when you say that smoking is your best friend, that you don't know what else to do.

I smoked up to a pack and a half a day--but did not chain smoke. My life revolved around smoking though. I'd finish one cigarette, then start planning for the next. Nothing was more important than my smoking--nothing. So long as I had my cigarettes, I was OK. 

I don't know if any quitter finds quitting easy, probably most do not. I was 54 (almost 55) when I quit--I was committed to quitting, but shakey. It took me sometime to destroy my attachment to smoking--even though I was quit, I idolized smoking. But in time the attachment was destroyed. I'm glad for that. Smoking is nothing more than addiction, but try telling me that back then. No, it was my everything.

If you feel you will be absolutely miserable without smoking, then have you considered seeing a quit expert? and/or taking medication such as chantix or others? and or attending a quit meeting either in person/zoom? There may be a hospital near you that offers quit meetings. Have you talked to your doctor about quitting?

Before you quit, you (in my opinion) must address the issue of being miserable when not smoking. Even though quitting can be tough--even rough, misery shouldn't be a part of quitting. Trying to grin and bear it is not a strong enough strategy for addiction--not usually.

Getting support over the long haul, making strong plans before you quit, getting regular guidance you trust are all important to quitting. At Ex it is perfectly ok to say I hate quitting and I hate giving up smoking. You are not required to all happy and smiley--honest is ok.

Bottom line, of course you can do this--take some time to figure your way forward. Ex is here for you 24/7.

[Kimshine]

@maryfreecig Thank you for sharing what you wrote above. It's important for quitters to know it's ok to have any feeling about quitting.

Years ago,I remember reading about happy quitters here and I felt like there was something horribly wrong with me for not feeling happy that I quit smoking. I read about not using words like struggle and to use the word challenge instead. I loved the community support but I felt like I wasn't using the proper verbage sometimes and I felt scolded over that.

I'm not saying it was anyone's intention, it was my feeling and how I internalized it.  I felt something was wrong with me because I couldn't get my mind in a positive headspace about quitting or that I wasn't doing it fast enough. It sucked for me and for a long time.

I'm a really emotional person about everything and to think I wouldn't be really emotional about quitting would be silly on my part.

I'm in 90 days and I feel much better but darn, some days I'm still challenged. I know this is going to take a lot of time, patience and dedication. 

My point is that @jestersnow72 and everyone else can do this event though it isn't imaginable in the beginning. Some days I still wonder how I'm going to do this. One day at a time. Worrying about tomorrow isn't productive.