Today is day 9 for me and i can NOT believe the emotional roller coaster i've been on!!! One minute i'm on cloud 9 just sucking in as much clean air as i can, smiling at the sunshine and loving that i am going outside to walk or just take a BREATHE break instead of a cigarette break! Then.....there's the moment that i cry because I just lost my "best friend" in that stupid cigarette. My husband still smokes and has respected my space. He hasn't said anything to me about my not smoking until this morning. He told me that he was extremely proud of me for not smoking any more. I told him that I don't want to say I "quit" smoking. That leaves some crazy mental door that can be left open just a bit to "quit" not smoking. For me..........i am a NON-SMOKER. Wow! I thought i would NEVER say that!!! Even THAT makes me cry! The cravings at this point are more of missing the habit than needing a cigarette. Learning how to cope with stressful situations at work or home instead of running outside and having a cigarette has been the biggest challenge for me. By the way, it's DRIVING my boss crazy!!! He wants me to go out and have a smoke break with him sooooo bad and can't understand why i just stopped. That's because I WAS DONE!! The health risks, my skin, my stinky clothes (i didn't smoke in my car or house), my stinky purses (which i threw out!!) and THE COST!!! I would be so broke that i would buy generic brand food and household items but always seemed to have enough money to buy a pack of cigarettes a day or a carton on payday!!! $150 spent a MONTH on something that was KILLING ME!!! That killed my sweet daddy this year. I just needed to hate the addiction more than i loved smoking. It worked for me!!
