EX Community

JustSharon · ‎09-21-2016

I am leaving the EX community for a while until I can get real serious about quitting smoking. I chose to light up several of Jake's cigarettes this morning making this the 2nd or 3rd slip I've had since I've been here. Anyways, I'll lurk around, from time to time. I've enjoyed each and everyone of you. Thanyou for teaching me so much, for yor time, comfort and care.

JACKIE1-25-15 · ‎09-21-2016

Sorry that you have made the decision to leave. In my opinion leaving may not be the answer. Don't give up. Yes it is hard living with a smoker, but it can be done. I believe you can do this.

joycequit022316 · ‎09-21-2016

So sorry to hear that, Sharon. My thoughts are you might just want to hang around and continue to read and absorb what is offered here. I know it keeps me on track. I don't know what I'd do if I lived with a smoker (but I DO know they would not be smoking around me). I believe you're stronger than you think, and I believe you want to quit. Will be watching for your new start date.

Joyce

joyeuxencore · ‎09-21-2016

Hello Sharon!

This is from an online site that helped me:

A ‘lapse’ is when a person has one or a few cigarettes while trying to stop. It is best to not have even a single puff while trying to stop, A lapse does not have to become a full relapse, or a return to regular smoking.

After a lapse, the best thing to do is try to quit again right away. The longer you wait, the harder it will become. Try this plan if you should happen to lapse:

1. STOP tobacco use immediately.

Throw away all tobacco products.

Call someone to help you get back on track.

Change your surroundings.

Go for a brisk walk.

Think of all the reasons why you quit.

Imagine yourself handling this moment without resorting to using tobacco.

2. THINK

What happened that led up to the lapse?

What was going on? Who were you with? Where were you?

What were you doing? Feeling? Thinking?

3. RECOGNIZE the problem.

Ask yourself how it felt to use tobacco again.

Was it what you thought it would be? Did it help?

Did it make you feel better or worse? Did it make the problem go away?

Did you try any other ways to cope?

4. DECIDE

How will you handle the situation next time?

5. DON’T FEEL GUILTY. YOU ARE DEALING WITH AN ADDICTION.

From an online quit coach:

When you were stressed out , what did you do? You smoked. What can you think of that could act as a substitute to cigarettes when you are stressed? Perhaps your support system might come in handy here, and some of your more fearless friends would be willing for you to call them when you’re feeling particularly emotional. What else? Perhaps a mantra you can say that will help you calm down and defuse the situation. A warm bath. A walk around the block. A run around the block. Dancing to the loudest music you can stand.

The point about all this is that it’s okay to feel emotions. Emotions are a natural part of living. They inform us about how we feel about all kinds of situations. If you feel fear, then you know that you may be in danger. If you feel joy, then you can open up and be expansive, you can share the best parts of yourself. Sadness, jealousy, anger, resentment, all these emotions are normal behaviors. They inform us of a range of experiences we are having. If we feel jealous, what does that mean? It may mean that we really love the person we’re jealous about, and so we learn how strongly we feel about them. If we feel resentment it may mean that we need to stand up for ourselves even if we’re afraid, because we don’t feel good in all this resentment.

When you smoked, you basically blocked yourself from having a natural, normal experience of living. If you’ve been smoking for a long time, you may have to relearn how to live with your emotions, and that may take time.

I guess I’d better tell you the Big Secret now, huh? Quitting Smoking is about more than just cigarettes. It’s about reclaiming your life. It’s about becoming a fully functioning human being again. And having your emotions—the whole range of them—is part of being human.

Hey you wonderful human, you can do this.

elvan · ‎09-21-2016

So sorry to hear this, Sharon. I thought Jake had quit too. I really hope that you will make a decision to come back and to really commit to your quit. You know where we are. Best to you.

crazymama_Lori · ‎09-21-2016

I read this and said out loud, no, no, no. Let me share something with you and think about it for a bit. When I first quit, my daughters were very supportive for me. They thought it was wonderful, blah, blah. The one daughter though that still smoked after about 60 or so days in and afterward, turned and did a 180 and began telling me how crabby I was, how I was being over sensitive, I'm not like I used to be. But then Elvan said she simply missed her smoking buddy. It was something we always did together. My husband doesn't smoke. Is that the reason why you think you went back to smoking? Is it because it's something you and Jake do together? Just let that settle. There's always a reason why we go back. there's something that pulls us back in. It could be stress, loneliness, whatever. But you have to be cognizant, aware of what it is that keeps pulling you back. Plain and simple, I stayed away from all smokers for the first 60 days. You were doing so well. you went back. You were doing so well. You went back. think about the why..... there's always a why

JonesCarpeDiem · ‎09-21-2016

not going to beg.

it's your life.

Giulia · ‎09-21-2016

Giving up, eh? Well just know WE never give up on you. (Pssst - you'll never be satisfied until you quit Because you now know too well what the cost of smoking is.) See you soon.....

Mike.n.Atlanta · ‎09-21-2016

Don't use Jake as an excuse but don't give up either Sharon. Be that example for Jake. Deep down he wants to quit he just doesn't know how. That's how guys are...we have to come to things on our own terms. Stick with us & start over with the reading & hanging close. You are stronger than you think you just can't see it. We can. Work your quit & he'll soon be right behind you.

Keep on keepin on,

ShawnP · ‎09-21-2016

I wish you wouldn't but i can't force you to stay either. It's your decision. If you do want to quit, the longer that you take a break, the harder it is to retry again. I live with 3 smokers in the house here. It's not impossible.

Ed55 · ‎09-21-2016

Oh Sharon..... You previously quit for 3 1/2 years? Clearly you know how to quit. What in the world is going on here?

joyeuxencore · ‎09-21-2016

I also wanted to mention that I think it is so gracious and loving that you came to the community to post a blog about leaving instead of just disappearing like so many folks do. We form attachments here as we champion people to freedom and it is sad when they go without a word.

I was looking at the fierce yet peaceful white mama tiger on your page and thinking...You chose her because you identify with the strength of spirit she embodies. Hope you come back soon!

tjanddj · ‎09-21-2016

Be back soon Sharon. I will miss you while you are gone. Never give up! Hugs.Do hurry back!

SAVE A LIFE - LET IT BE YOURS

Trudy

carloprivitera · ‎09-21-2016

Sharon,

I followed you over all these days.

You were few months in front of me and you made me strong just reading your messages and how great you were in your process.

I owe you!

Everybody knows that it's tough. Each of us has been through this and we are still fighting it every day.

It's evident that you really want to do this but I also know that all of us is weak and sometimes it seems stronger than us.

Last monday I was in a business trip in Philadelphia and I start walking around to find a place where I can find some cigarettes. It lasted a couple of hours and then I've been able to manage it.

In those moments our mind build any possible excuse to smoke ... it's not the addicion at this point ... it's just us!

And you know that you are stronger than this!

We are here with you no matter what.

All the best ... take care!

Carlo

maryfreecig · ‎09-21-2016

I'm sorry to see you not move on from this addiction. I will miss you. Safe journey.

MePlus3 · ‎09-21-2016

Sharon don't you leave us! Look at all the love you've developed here we are cheering for you! I remember when I got hurt the first time I slipped and made my "goodbye" blog I had never seen you before but you were following me and you wrote on my message board saying you never got to know me and hate to see me leave we started over TOGETHER remember? You're not getting kicked off because you lapsed if at first or in your case second or third you don't succeed try again and AGAIN until you DO because you WILL! I could see that you want to quit so keep trying!

Pops · ‎09-21-2016

Sorry to hear that you have decided to pause your smoking cessation for awhile. I just hope it isn't for the rest of your life. Then again, that will most likely be the case if you continue to run or say that you aren't ready. I hope you get it together soon, and make a firm comittment to quit "forever". These tune ups, where we stop for awhile and start back up again...they usually always end up with us going right back to the same amounts that we were smoking before we paused. Sad...

Pops

Jennifer-Quit · ‎09-21-2016

Leaving is not the answer and I know from personal experience that sometimes it is hard to get started again. And even more difficult to get started again the longer you wait. I do hope that you will at least check in and read - maybe something that you read here will trigger that desire to quit and remain quit. Best wishes to you.

jonilou · ‎09-21-2016

I'll tell you Sharon, Giulia hit the nail on the head, and I know this is true. You won't have any peace until you finally DO quit. I have enjoyed getting to know you and wish you the very best!

Daniela2016 · ‎09-21-2016

Sharon,

I hope to see you back soon, your graphics are beautiful and make us smile every time. You've been a positive contributor to all of us, don't let us down, please!

Take care and come back to us,

Hugs

MarilynH · ‎09-21-2016

I agree with Giulia and Jonilou, come back soon and take back your life and find the peace of being an Exer! ♡

Thomas3.20.2010 · ‎09-21-2016

Tomorrow would be just fine! Tonight would be even better!

The longer you wait the harder it is!

Sootie · ‎09-21-2016

Leaving is not the answer.

When you leave the support and constant talk of quitting, the milestones and the congratulations, the friendships, it is easy to drift back into smoking.....for years and years not just days.

Leaving is not the answer.

Sootie · ‎09-21-2016

Never let a stumble in the road be the end of the journey. Wife toJake

plug66 · ‎09-22-2016

please do come back,sooner than later...Giulia is so right because once i got it in my head to quit......quit was what i had to accomplish, partly an ego thing...I will do it, honestly Sharon i easily tried 15 times and 8 of them were from the begining of the year....so far i have not smoked since May 15.....130 days today

HealthyOrange · ‎04-06-2019

Hi Sharon,

Don’t be so hard on yourself. You learn something from each quit. I joined this site one year before my final quit and had many serial quits before I quit for good. The key is to not give up quitting. Keep learning and preparing. You will succeed.

Giulia · ‎04-07-2019

Jamie this blog is 3 years old. And this lovely person has since passed away. Check the blog date before you post. You may be offering support to someone no longer here. Just an FYI. But I'm kinda glad you did. Because it made me remember her fondly. HealthyOrange

HealthyOrange · ‎04-07-2019

Thank you, dear Guilia! I realized right after I posted that it was an older post, but I hadn’t realized that she has passed. Thanks for letting me know. I hope your classy self is doing well. Good to hear from you. xoxo