Laugh at THIS! You'll forget your crave...

[SkyGirl]

You can't smoke when you are choking with laughter...

  

    INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NASCAR 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
... Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!
Tech Support

[Jordan-11-1-12]

♥

[freedom-38]

Pretty much.

[Jordan-11-1-12]

LMAO that's great!

[joyeuxencore]

WHERE did you find that!! Shoot I still haven't gotten boyfriend 5.0 yet! xo

[joyeuxencore]

Oh look the gals are all here! Now we just need Deb! xo

[SarahP]

I want my money back. 

[Ex_Nancy]

Ya, I want my money back too.

[froguelady]

I got gypped. Then I got D and then he passed, I still miss him but I still got gypped. lol

[jka03]

LOL.  That about sums it up!

[debr]

Oh My God, Sky.  That piece is so, so, so, too true!!  I'd rather downgrade from a husband to a once-in-a-while-boyfriend.  Don't get me wrong, I do love my husband, but once the wedding band goes on, they short circuit!!!

[SkyGirl]

Well, at least now I understand why I've decided to keep running My Beloved under Boyfriend 5.0 for 18 years instead of switching to Husband 1.0! 

Actually, I guess he'd be Husband 2.0.  I dumped the Husband 1.0 operating system YEARS ago!  That really cleared out my cache memory, along with a lot of outdated data.  All my programs have been running a lot smoother and faster since then!

Heeheehee... 

[julia20]

This entire thread is too hilarious for words.

[kris54]

Ah-hem....  there was a glitch in my system also.  Have alerted the proper maintenience people and am trying to 'fix' the problem.  Outcome pending............................

[Jordan-11-1-12]

my Husband 1.0 was corrupted beyond repair, so I had to toss it. I will never waste my time on that program again!!!

[julia20]

Hee hee hee Jordan. Was he Microsoft NT?

[Jordan-11-1-12]

LOL i think of him as a Trojan Horse more than a virus or malware.

[justsayno3]

All you need to do to get the unit to do chores and romance and all the other functions promised, is properly install the external hard drive. If you get that right, all the other functions should work seamlessly. I would love to help with compatability issues, but that is above my pay grade.

[notgivingup2013]

Love this!

[SkyGirl]

Oooh, naughty double entendre, Justsayno!!  lol

[justsayno3]

I am not the one that called him a Trojan Horse.....Jordan.

[SkyGirl]

Hahaha, Lee!  You KNOW what I'm talking about!  😉

[Jordan-11-1-12]

LOL@ Lee

Lee,

let me start by saying, I think you were very brave to jump on this thread, with all us women-folk makin fun of the men-folk!!  Secongly, I must give credit where credit is do.... The ONLY good thing about my Husband 1.0 program WAS the external hard drive, but it is no where near worth the cost of re-installiation!!!

[julia20]

OMG, Jordan and JustSayNo, I'm dying over here. [Coughs out bits of carrot]

[Newfound_Joy]

Really enjoyed this....you girls are HILARIOUS!!!

Here's my computer story:

After many repeated attempts over 15 years to be compatible with Husband 1.0, I finally figured out that he caused the entire system to crash including the added software Child 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, and 4.0.

I stayed without any operating programs for many years and was totally immersed in Child 1.0 – 4.0.

Now I have upgraded to Husband 2.0  and he satisfies all the requirements of this new operating system. He added Laughter 1.0, Silly Goofy Antics 1.0, and Problem Solving 1.0.  I know a Trojan Horse is supposed to be a bad virus on my system………..but He is a KEEPER!

[Ex_Nancy]

*snicker-snicker*....well let's see, what about "deleting and recovery". then there is also "Save as" like Sky has done with BF for 18 years....(should we really marry them) and crash?   Will copy and paste still work?  🙂

[SkyGirl]

"Save as"!!!!!   AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  That's a great one, Nancy!!!!  Yup, that's what I've done with My Beloved   He's in a folder called "Don't Discard"...but don't tell HIM that!  Shhhh. He knows he's my only operating system after all these years, but I don't want to run the possibility of running into any stupid add-ons like Overconfidence 1.0 or Lack of Effort 1.0.

What about "Control, Alt, Delete"?  That function ought to be good for getting them out of your way when they are not loading properly.  Then you can just reboot when you're ready to have him back, right?

[SkyGirl]

Although, I must say, I don't mind all the pop-ups on Boyfriend 5.0...

[Jordan-11-1-12]

LMAO@ Nancy and SKy

yea, I'll give mine a reboot right in the pop up blocker!!  (gasp)

PS< My current program (BF 7.0) runs smoothly with only minor, occasional glitches.

[ShawnP]

I can't stop laughing! 

[mskim2016]

This is so funny! And in many cases, so true!

Can't stop giggling....