Just when I thought I was safe...

[chris14]

... and it would all be smooth and happy sailing from here - a mega double whammy crave hit me last night. It was so bad, I could have punched a whole in the wall out of anger over not being able to smoke a cigarette. I am not even sure what brought it on after 38 mostly happy smoke free days!!! Damn, I thought this would be past me by now. But evidently not, which is depressing on one hand, on the other one it's pretty darn amazing that I did NOT go to the gas station and bought a pack. The saving thought was actually envisioning smoking that cigarette, which flooded me with so much shame and guilt just picturing it, that I was able to let it go!

What brought it on? I am not sure exactly, but frustration certainly played a part. Our truck got smashed and since my husband needs to go to work, I am currently house-bound without a car. Financial pressures and employment issues suddenly seemed to multiply. Then, my computer crashed (and obviously has regained consciousness), and our cat Skittles managed to climb and topple our 7-foot corn palm plant. After that, I just lost it, needed to get out of the house - with the sole intention of driving to the gas station for a pack of smokes. Told myself again and again that that's not what I want to do, and I guess that is what stopped me in the end. In any case, I am still with it and proud of being here. Here's my pic of the day - a little broken up, just like I felt yesterday evening:

[Sandra3]

I am so sorry you had such a rough day, I hate those cravings that blind side you, one minute you are a happy EX and the next you are raging maniac! I wish there was a way to know it was coming at least you could prepare as we did in the first week knowing they were happening so often.
I hope today is a much better day for you and I LOVE THE PICTURE!

[AutumnWoman]

Sounds like a case of the bad day blues -- and you survived it! Nobody promises that all our problems are going to go away just because we quit smoking. One of the tasks of recovery is to learn how to deal with things going wrong *without* picking up our drug of choice. You had 38 days of preparation to show you that you didn't *have* to smoke. Good for you, you listened to it. Smoking wouldn't have solved any of your problems, in fact, it would have made you feel worse. So at least you have your self-esteem intact to help you deal with your other problems, I think a clear-headed person makes better choices, don't you?

[laurie-schaible]

Congratulations to you! You have reached an important milestone, because even tho' all the sh*t was piling up, you stayed strong, and realized that smoking only complicates, it does not solve anything.

You did not drive to the store and get those cigarettes!!! YES!!! WAY TO GO!!! Your problems will be there no matter what. Every day provides new challenges for us, and cigarettes never change that! We have allowed them to add a tremendous challenge to our lives! But, no more. Over time it does get easier! Think of how far you have come.

Keep hitting that dismiss button every time one of those thoughts come into your brain. You have the power! Keep it up!

You remembered you are a non-smoker now, and you do not do that anymore! You are no longer a slave to the crutch that kills.

YEAH!!!!

[nicole]

yesterday was hard for me too.....i didnt have a bad day i just wanted a damn smoke. I had 33 days yesterday and i agree lol we should be thru this...darn our brains and our memories

[denise6]

Chrissy..I'm glad to see you online again and I'm so glad you didn't smoke! One thing that saves me when I have a craving is the very thing that makes me want to smoke and that is financial pressure. I have to keep telling myself that smoking one would put me back to the beginning(sure as hell don't want that) or...I could start smoking again and cause myself even more financial burden.

I'm not real sure what is going on with this particular time in our quit. I see that several people including myself in this stage are having some tough cravings. I tried to have a crown and coke with my husband last night, and had to end up giving him the drink. I also have a wedding to be in on V Day and am really freaking out about that. The cravings have been very strong this week. The bottom line is...since I have gotten past the first 3 -4 days of actual nicotine withdraw, if I smoke now, it is because I choose to do so, I try to keep remembering that.

Again, I am happy for you that you stuck with your commitment to remain a non smoker. Hang in there, things will surely get better.

[kimberly20]

Way to stay strong 🙂 and hold on to your quit

[JonesCarpeDiem]

4 months people, 4 months

[laura30]

You were blind-sided by a really big craving & you beat it!!! Awesome!!! Congrats to yoi!!

[linda8]

Chris you deserve a huge pat on the back!!! Thanks goodness you took what you have learned from this site and stopped yourself before bying those stupid smokes. I guess we will have those urges or craves for quite some time to come. It is the way we deal with them that is the important part. Congrats for getting through, and just remember we are all in this together and we are all here to support each other through those rough time. Happy Smoke Free Sunday!!!!

[barbara42]

you did a great job by not smoking, just goes to show you, we are addicts and will always be, we just choose not to use, always gaurd our quits peace!

[chris14]

Wow - THANKS to all of you for your comments and support! It truly means a lot to me, knowing that people actually care and are listening! Still smoke-free after 39 days, and today's my 42nd birthday on top of that. WOO-hoo...

[angela6]

By the way, beautiful pic

[angela6]

Girl, I guess it must be something to do with this time frame. On the 4th I thought I was going to go mad if I didn't smoke. I could literally taste it and I wanted one so badly, all after a horrible day. Sounds like you got through it the same way I did, just fought to hang on to your quit. Awesome job on not caving, hope things are going well for you now.