Just don't Smoke-Vape or Chew unless....

[Mandolinrain]

Unless you have decided your not worth it...or your family members are not worth it...or your pets are not worth it...or your friends are not worth it....

See , even if you do not realize it, YOUR habit is indirectly hurting them too.

STOP IT

Are you worth it or are they? If so quit making excuses and get busy learning what to do and do it.

So MIL , it has been decided, will stay at the care facility she is in and we have got her now on the maximum level of care. I was all set to bring her here and then decided, no....I am taking on way to much and I needed to make sure I take care of myself also. I am learning how to say 'No'. About damn time. I love her dearly and I see her nearly everyday, but if she came here I realized I would have to watch her like a hawk 24/7 and I am not able to do that. I felt plenty of guilt over this decision but we think its best, I do too now that I chewed on this awhile. She's 5 minutes away. 

Learning how to make better choices. Learning how to say 'no'. Learning how to set boundaries is an area I will always need to pay attention to. I am no good to anyone else if I am burnt out.

I have a crappy cold or allergies now. Family still flying in this coming Saturday. I will be fine. I already feel some relief, compliments of Zyrtec and family support that is.

Life is going to punch you smoking or not....so NEVER make the decision to smoke/Vape or chew because of life happening....unless your wanting it all to end.

Now isn't this a peachy post  N.O.P.E.

[Giulia]

Sometimes we have to work our way through things.  Especially a major change like you were about to undertake.  Your heart is always in the right place, Missy.  No need to feel guilty.  And, after all, you're only 5 minutes away.  Peace to your brain.

[Mandolinrain]

Thank you 

[Barbscloud]

The guilt thing is hard to deal with when it's family, but I'm glad you reassessed the situation.  You are worth it!  Unfortunately, it's older people trying to take care of old people.  I've done it a lot and it takes a toll.  I call it Catholic guilt!  Enjoy time with the family.

Barb

[elvan]

I am SO PROUD of you, Missy.  Saying no is particularly hard for you...I have that same issue.  There is no way that you can take on the care of a person 24/7...unless that person is you.  I am so sickened by the number of people vaping and now the concerns about many sudden illnesses and even deaths.  Yes, smoking kills...it's a gradual death, vaping looks to be rather sudden and my God who would EVER want to kiss someone who chews or smokes?  

Sending love and hugs,

Ellen

[Mandolinrain]

elvan‌ yes dear we are like to peas in a pod and I don't think I will ever be good at consistently saying 'NO', you probably wont either, it's how we are made. ...BUT we sure wont' quit trying. xoxo

[Sootie]

Knowing you I am sure you made this decision from your heart and it was difficult. But you can't help your mother in law if you are worn out. Guilt is a waste of time and accomplishes nothing. You need your strength and energy for your family and your beautiful paintings.....your painting of the ballet dancer is great.....you can almost see her floating.

[sweetplt]

Missy Mandolinrain My whole life has been guilt because of family...meaning parents and sisters...I have finally not only made boundaries, but everyday offer them up and their worries and problems to GOD...I can no longer do it...it took too many years and too much sick...but finally have peace...honestly, I think you mad the right decision...be ok with your decision...and I will say some prayers for this situation for you...Gotcha in my Heart ... ~ Colleen 

[pir8fan]

The mother bird eats first because she know she needs the strength and energy to take care of the others! You are a wise and wonderful woman! Guilt would be putting yourself in a position to care for her and finding it was too much for you to keep up with!!

HUGZ.     Tommy

[Mandolinrain]

Thank everyone. You guys are so important to me, I sure hope your all really your an extension of family family to me.

[Rick4178]

It's so rare that I and my fiance just had a conversation about the people that loves you, I read your post and I recognized my self centeredness, I stopped vaping because of the news. but I did go and bought a pack, no excuse for that ,it's hard but I'm on a network now, were help is provided 

[Giulia]

You can do this Rick.  Keep working it.

[indingrl]

GOOD JOB MISSY - Yahoooooooooo WAY TO GO taking care of YOU first and love YOUR NEW boundaries keeping YOU healthy - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER - ONE day at a time - TOGETHER - CONGRATS