Greetings my fellow conquerors.
First of all, I want to thank all of you who have taken interest in my blogs. I've never had such a response from a website or group of people. But you guys seem to be well involved. Thank you for all your encouragement and comments. I'm glad that I am able to outreach to some of those of you who need it. Though I must admit, I am only being honest and spilling some of my true life to you.
Now, to my current days.
This is the first time since I was a pre-teen person that I have not had anything to mask my emotions. I've always had something. So here I am, modestly patting myself on the back for baring with my raw emotions.
I'll admit to you guys, I've gone through alcoholism, Drug Abuse, Self Manipulation/cutting and of course smoking. Like I said in the beginning, there was always something to make me not have to realize how I truly felt. That indeed goes to show that smoking is just a crutch for something more deep seeded.
So with my brothers passing on, and the stress of not having an abusive substance, I'd say I'm dealing fairly well. Sometimes I do zone out, get depressed, and I have horrid insomnia, only causing me to randomly pass out in the daytime but I'm making my way through this rough terrain.
I've always heard the story of people with great self discipline But I never thought I could push myself to do this much. It may not seem like I'm doing much, but this IS a great mental battle for myself. I've always needed someone else to push me, and now I push myself forward. I wish everyone could understand that. The only leader you need is that leader within yourself. Lead yourself to your own victories.
-Void
