Jealousy!!

[miz-indiana]

I just got a phone call from someone close to me.  They had great personal news.

Whoa. BAM.

Jealousy!!

Anger!!

Here I thought I was a good person!!

I'm the one who has offered support, direct support and emotional support.  I was so wanting this person's track to become parallel to mine.

Now they have received news that leaves me in the dust.

I have some humbling to do.

I'm so ashamed of myself.

Before someone else says it, 

I KNOW.

I am pitying myself.

It's dangerous to my quit.

Strong, negative emotion.

"I'm such a bad person I might as well smoke."

aggggggghhhhhhh help

[MisFitz]

If you smoke will you suddenly find yourself happy for this person?  And will you then feel like you a good person? 

I think a little jealousy can be a good thing.  Let it provide you motivation to be better or do better.  I don't think it makes you a bad person.  Its a normal feeling that everyone has. But smoking won't change that feeling so please don't . Smoking will just give you something else to feel bad about.  Stay strong!!

[freedom-38]

Exactly what Misfitz says. You will always feel worse if you smoke and let the jealously be good motivation.

So glad you blogged about it!

Clearly you are a good person and know what it is that will continue to make you happy.

Stay strong!

[YoungAtHeart]

And, would a cigarette have changed even one thing except make you feel MORE worthless and a REALLY weak, bad person??????  Of course not!

Hang in there!  You can do this!

Nancy

[Ex_Nancy]

And then you win 50 million on the lotto next week...you'll have a new emotion to "celebrate".....What does all of this mean? You are going tru a cycle that we ALL have here of relearning our new lives with "learning how to deal with emotions." Many of us don't expect this and are surprised by it because we used to 'forget' about our problems with smoking. The truth is, for many of us, it takes courage to learn this new behavior bacause a LOT of us lost our problem-solving abilities when we were smoking at 10 or 15 years old.....The thing to do is change that way you think now...smoking won't fix the jealousy and it won't fix your celebration of winning the lottery this upcoming week....it does fix anything at all. I've felt jealous before...feel it and reason thru it while taking a walk or going shopping to treat yourself as a gift for  YOU for not smoking! Things could ALWAYS be worse...thank the heavens you don't have someone's problems WORSE than yours...♥

[joyeuxencore]

Feelings, feelings, feelings!!! Always messing with us! You are probably happy your friend has found some good fortune...you want some good fortune too...not such a bad person after all...just your addict mind circling the wagons to try to get you to change your mind about your great success...don't give in!! xo

[jojo_2-24-11]

Jealouy, Anger! I'm thinking that you were having a not so good day when you got this news from a friend and now it is amplified because you are going through a lot of emotions now with your quit. No sense in feeling like you are the one being left behind. You quit smoking, that in itself is something to celebrate!

[miz-indiana]

I DID NOT SMOKE.

I hadn't eaten, so I ate.

Then I took my dogs outside.

All the while, so confused at myself.

Another title would have been,  "Newly quit and already dealing with more than cravings!"

After a while I figured out that it was a knee-jerk reaction.  I really am happy for the other person, truly, they have suffered so, I am glad I have been there all the way, I feel good about it, and am so RELIEVED.  A long haul for them.

And there will be more challenges for them..

BUT, I'm staying in the present.

My reward was making it through to the playoff game this afternoon at 4:30.  That's distracted me ever since and I'm enjoying the game, esp. since the team whose side I'm on is winning!  Even if not, I get to enjoy my little personal victory.

Tomorrow marks one week off the things for me.

So I guess what I've learned, w/o the smokescreen is that I have a lot more kneejerk reactions than I thought.

Everybody was right in all they said, I thank you.

Oh, Nancy, about that lottery - which day am I going to win?  <grin>