Its Been Slippery Around Here

[Jordan-11-1-12]

A year ago when I came on to this site, I received much advice and attention from the wonderful Elders, and my peers.  A lot of them are still here, and a lot of them are gone.  They are too many to name. (miss you Owlfeather, froguelady....).  I am so thankful to them all for everything I've learned from them, and the support I got when needed. 

 Luckily, when I quit, we were not allowed to use the term "slip",  because it implied an accident.  It takes more than enough steps to ruin a quit to qualify it as a calculated choice.   As my dear friend Sky mentioned in a blog recently, if we don't keep any cigs around, we must decide to ruin our quit, drive to a store, buy cigs.... and then perform all the little movements in order to actually inhale that first puff.  No accident.... choice.  

Also, if we chose to light up (which I did on my first 24th day of my quit (Halloween 2012)..... there was no coming back on here and mentioning it casually,  "well, i smoked, but I'm not gonna let that ruin my quit."  Not at all.  We had to take responsibility. Which meant, that we needed to figure out WHY we decided to relapse,  HOW we were able to relapse,  and WHAT we were going to do differently this time.   We were told that each time we took a puff after put holes in our quit armor..... that it did not NEED to take more than one quit date to quit, and that each time we chose to smoke we were actually lessoning our chances on a forever quit.  It was serious stuff.

I know that there are some people with YEARS of quit time who took more than one time to find their forever quit.  Please do not think that I am "putting anyone down"  Elder or Newbie.  This Blog comes from what I am thinking and feeling with my own quit, and nothing else.

There were many times in the first month of my quit that the ONLY thing stopping me from buying the pack that I was staring at behind the cashier was the thought of my friends and mentors on this site.  Not even the advice they gave, but just them.  I did not want to come back and tell them that I'd chosen to blow it...... again.   Had the attitude of the site been different..... the relapses more common,  I think I would have ruined my quit more than the one time that I did.     

H@ll, there are times NOW when all the talk about "slipping" and "It took me many times before I found my forever quit..."    Well, I'm less than a month away from 1 year quit,  and suddenly I am having many "smoking memories"  and thoughts of the "just one" that I know doesn't exhist..... and the addiction is whispering, "You only messed up once...... you could mess up one more time and quit again....."

PLEASE never, ever give up on quitting and if you choose not to blog before smoking (like you need to) do not hesitate to come on here and come clean and start again!!!!

For myself, I don't know why these smoking thoughts and memories are haunting me except.... well, I have always worked hard at sabataging myself.  Got something good in my life? Better get rid of it quick!!!  Something possitve going on?  Better do something harmful to yourself!!!     Nearing that 1 year mark is a big deal to me, so I guess my addiction has sat up to take notice.

Thank God for you all.... and for the love I've received here.

NOPE  NOPE NOPE

[wishingstar]

I need to read thsi few times and thank you for sharing  . i just got belive in myself and your right every time I blow, I am making it hardder on myself.

I wil send somthing special.. on your one your . proud of you.

Super Naturl fan bud

[SkyGirl]

Love you like crazy, Jordan! 

I hadn't thought about the change in the way "slips" were seen back when you and I quit...but you really hit the nail on the head.  It was different. 

There was a lot of talk about dismissing the concepts of "trying", of "attempting", of "hoping it works", of "getting back in the saddle".  That kind of thinking leaves the door open to smoking again.

And how long has it been since we've seen anyone here say this?  "It only takes three things to quit smoking.  First, you must MAKE THE DECISION to quit.  Second, you must COMMIT to that decision.  And third, you must HONOR that decision every single minute of every single day."  It's not always easy to abide by those three things, but it certainly makes the quitting process simple to understand!

And as for having smoking thoughts as you approach your one-year anniversary?  Well, just stop it (as Bob Newhart's famous YouTube clip says)!  Don't forget that you are a permanent adoptee of the EX Community!  Put that certificate up on the fridge, and look at it every day!  I wonder if I can find a photo of that certificate...

XXXXXXOOOOOOO,   Sky

[freeneasy]

Thanks for another thoughtful excellent blog Jordan. Here is a link to an article from About.Com Smoking Cessation that I thought was was interesting and pretains to relapse. http://quitsmoking.about.com/od/cravingsandurges/f/IMissSmoking.htm?nl=1

[phyllis-12-7-15]

Jordan I look forward to celebrating your 1 year quit with you. You and I have had this conversation before about "slips" so you know I am in total agreement.

Walking The Walk because my greatest desire is to join you and the other 6%ers. I still have a ways to go but one step at a time.

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

Well it takes all kinds. I'm sure I see a smoke free years celebration in your future Jordan. Many will not feel the sense of accomplishment of this feat because it won't be theirs. It takes someone with your kind of commitment & willingness to share with others. Giving all you have to them in hopes that they will become one of the few. You do walk the walk. I am anxiously awaiting you one year celebration blog.

Keep on keepin on,

M n @

[whognu_1-2007]

I put sandpaper on the botton of all my GNU shoes. It prevents slipping

[ninepatch]

Jordan that one year mark is a huge win under your belt. Don't let anything take it away. The season changing is bringing back memories. As far as oops I slipped moments on the board....this site got too PC. Don't hurt anyone's feelings. I too believe in tough love. It works

[Strudel]

Jordan - Congrats on almost one year! I look forward to celebrating with you! I think - at least for me - that having an increase in thoughts and memories before a milestone is normal. It even happened to me before my recent three year anniversary. I think that our brains just need to work out this huge change..... But, you will be okay! Just keep protecting your beautiful quit! 

[Thomas3.20.2010]

No slips - No falls! 

You have a party coming up here! And you will be here on Day 366 just like any other day - showing others how to join the 6% Club!

BTW! I agree with Kathy, milestones definitely wake up the sleeping monkey! Bore him back to sleep with a lack of attention, Jordan! 

We still get to/have to make the choice to BE FREE!

[Magstoyou]

Jordon-Thanks for the great Post!!!

   Mag

[jinni]

How can it be called a "slip"... it isn't an accident... beyond the physical withdrawal period you make a conscious decision.  I think the decision, commitment and honoring your decision to live a better life is all important.  N.O.P.E.

[Yaya2.6.10]

You can do this and make the one year!  I had really bad days on "anniversary dates".  You have come too far to blow it just short of a year.  I liked your thoughts about slipping and the attitude on this site.  I've been here more than 3 years and it has changed.  I'm not judging as folks who are here now may need the kinder gentler approach.  I'm grateful that Jones and others were here to keep me honest.  Keep us posted and we will be here to celebrate your first year.

[joyeuxencore]

You are my quit buddy and I SO look forward to our celebration! YES the site is different but guess what...we kept coming back no matter what and we will keep that up and do our best to help others...We may not be hard core like some who have left YET...Give us a little time! Hahahahahaha!!! xo

And as for you smokingt????!!!!!

[MistyNoMore]

I wonder if stopping smoking is like a death, a death to an old you. You are mourning the "old you", maybe. They say that when a woman loses her husband to death, she has to go thru all the year without him....missing him awfully at Christmas, his birthday, their anniversary.  Once the 2nd year starts, then she knows she can do it.  I think maybe you are right about the anniversary coming up having meaning for you.  You can do it! Just keep going!

[IrishRose]

I've been quit three years June, and I still get that urge to smoke when I am dealing with a tremendous amount of stress.  If I were to smoke after three years quit, it would not be a slip.  It would be a totally dumb ass move on my part to undermind what I have accomplished.  That's my thought on "slip". 

A slip is something you wear to keep the sun from shining through and showing your legs and other body parts when you wear a dress.

[IrishRose]

[nanawendy]

When I first came here there was no banana peels anywhere !!  Only decisions to smoke or not to smoke. I make the decision everyday to remain smoke free. Jordan, I am one month behind you and you have let the way for me and many others. You will be here celebrating your one year anniversary, because on November 1st of last year you made the decision to be an EX smoker

keep calm and carry on

Wendy

12/31/12

[Mrs.Rum]

Wow - November 1.  Your 1 year and my six month.  That rocks.  

Congratulations!

[IrishRose]

You celebrate one year on November 1, 2013, All Saint's Day.  That's cool. 

[Patty-cake]

  You talk about last year, where tough love was the norm, I hear you. I believe that's why you, me and others like us reach our one year of freedom. 

  Keep solid in your quit. You know the rules of addiction. Don't be fooled by those little demons that haunt you every now and then.

We will be celebrating your one year smoke free anniversary very soon. November 1st will be a special day. As I approached my one year, so many emotions came over me. So I get what you are going through.

I look forward to celebrating and welcoming you to the 6% club. 🙂

[jojo_2-24-11]

Jordan, You are doing the thing that smokers only dream about, I know this because I use to be one who dreamt about quitting All The Time....Now "Slipping" is not an Option! Congratulations on your upcoming milestone. 

[kathy_ryz]

Looking forward to your one year celebration!

[kjvenegas]

Congrats on your upcoming one year, good for you!!  I really like IrishRose's comment: to smoke now would really be a dumb ass move!!  Keep &protect your awesome quit, you are such an inspiration!!!

[smorgy8513]

Jordan....You are one of the reasons that I keep coming to this site daily and pledging daily to stay smoke free!    I totally agree with you on the "no slip" concept.....if you, me, or anyone does smoke....could be with 1 day or 1000 days under the belt....it is a choice.      I choose to not smoke today, it has become way too important to me to be healthy and happy!

So....why aren't there more "tough love" Elders and Wise Ones around here?     I think there should be.     People need to be accountable for their choices.      I hate when I read "I don't need any negative comments now, I've beat myself up enough over my slip".         No....they need to hear (just like I would) "get busy and figure it out".

Anyway, thanks for being here and giving us your wisdom.     I am looking forward to your party!

Sharon

[Giulia]

You're absolutely right.  We've begun to takes slips for granted.  And have been for quite a while.  And they shouldn't be.  They shouldn't be the norm.  And they shouldn't be easily allowed nor accepted.   I think partially it's the attutide of the EX program itself that has encouraged this kind of thinking.  When you have a section on "Understanding Slip Up" you're allowing for them just by the title.  But we've had these tough love discussions in the past and I'm of the opinion that tough love is great, as long as you see the love.  It's all in the presentation and balance.

You are definitely not alone in having smoking thoughts occur when nearing milestones.  Especially one as large as your first year anniversary.  I think it's natural to dwell on cigarette thoughts during that time.  We're looking back at where we've come.  There's a finality, in a way, to a milestone.  It's an achievement that once it has been accomplished you can't regain.  It's done.  It's a strange psychological/emotional place to be.  It's a high and a let down all at once.  In kiind of reminds me of my Broadway debut.  It's a once in a lifetime event and there was an incredibly lonliness that went along with the exuberance of it.  It'll never happen again.  Nor will our first year anniversaries.  Cherish it, Jordan, by continuing to honor it. 

[lindan_7-14-10]

keep showing, how it is done, "one step at a time" ...KUDOS to you, Jordan♥

[debr]

Jordan, What a spectacular post!!!  You keep your non-skid shoes on all the time, you hear!  Love, Deb.