cancel
Showing results for 
Show  only  | Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Share your quitting journey

Invest in yourself

Mandolinrain
Member
4 10 100

What does this mean to you?

Perhaps if you can figure this out it can aide you in your ability to quit smoking.

When I first jumped on the bandwagon to stop smoking I was doing it for many reasons...all which were commendable but not the right reason.  It took more wisdom ( from which I gathered here on this site ) to come to understand that if I had to make my quit my first priority. Meaning, me first.

i was never comfortable with that. I have a tendency to take care of everyone but me. I had put 'ME' up on a shelf years ago and have taken care of everyone else's needs first. Meanwhile, I sat and collected dust. Oh I still managed to exercise and get out now and then and do the things I enjoy doing, but theres more to it than that.....

I recognized nearly 4 years ago it was time to climb down off of the shelf and dust myself off and get busy taking care of me. I needed to set boundaries with some people who were literally sucking the life out of me. I needed to learn how to say 'NO'. I needed to recognize that I wanted to quit smoking because I WANTED TO QUIT SMOKING. I was not quitting for my husband, my kids, my grandkids, my friends, my work.......I was quitting because I desired to be smoke free and healthy. I quit because it was time to take care of me.

Life is going to happen to us~good days-bad days-exceedingly joyful days and exceedingly sorrowful days.

Putting others first before you take care of yourself first, is one way to set yourself up for the more sorrowful days.

What would happen if you were asked to do something that deep down you really don't want to do but you feel if you say 'NO', you would be letting the other person down. Do you think they will forever reject you? Do you think they will think badly of you?

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.......Wondering if they are thinking about you as much as you think about them?

Just something to chew on, an example, per say.

images.jpg

Taking care of you first, getting to know the real you will help you establish your boundaries, of what you can and can't do or give. 

So what has this got to do with Quitting Smoking? Well for one thing it will help reduce stress which is a huge trigger to smoke for many people and fr me...it was the biggest reason. I wore myself out trying to do to much and fix everyone when I was the one who needed fixed.

Anyway.....Taking care of me is still something I work at and I always will have to I suppose because I do love helping others...but we all need to recognize that perhaps the one who needs more TLC....is us...we are worth the investment.

10 Comments
SimplySheri
Member

Beautiful  

Sandy-9-17-17
Member

I totally agree with you on this one!  I am one who helps others before I help myself.  Only in the last 3 years have I been able to focus on "ME" more, and my needs have become more important!!! I have raised my children, who I have always put first, But now I give myself more TLC and it feels good!  I still have a hard time saying no, but it will come with time!  

Thanks for sharing, I needed this reminder that it is ok to give myself "ME" time!  

Sandy

elvan
Member

This is beautiful and could not be more timely for me.  Saying no is really something I struggle with.  I can't explain why because I really don't know the reason.  I know that I will wear myself out trying NOT to say no and then I pay the consequences.  Quitting smoking is absolutely something for ME, it is something that I have never regretted.  I have trouble saying NO but I have NO trouble saying NOPE.

Hugs to you, Missy.

Ellen

Mandolinrain
Member

It's so good to see you back here Ellen, I know you have had a pretty full plate dealing with everything. Keeping prayer chain going for you and a few others on this site...Hang in there and try not to allow 'everything else' consume you. 

xoxo

Barbscloud
Member

Hmm...   Makes me wonder.  Are there just certain types of people/personalities that tend to become smokers. 

YoungAtHeart
Member

I have FINALLY learned to stop myself from an automatic "sure" to "let me get back to you!"  I then have time to really think if I want to do something or not.!  When I was in a horrific car accident and needed to heal and rest, then rest some more, I found myself trying to vacuum (with a broken collar bone of all things!).  I thought it would be OK if I just went backwards with it!   I was on sick leave, but spoke often to my boss and when she heard this, she insisted I talk to someone about my inability to just rest.  He suggested that, before I do something, I ask myself this question:  "Is doing this in my long term best interest?"  Most things I wanted to do were in my short term interest (I hated sitting in a house that needed to be vacuumed)....but long term - increasing my chance or reinjury and delaying healing - not so much.  Just those few words were a Godsend and something I have lived by ever since.

Life lesson #4,865,491, I think!

Daniela2016
Member

Thank you Missy, these are so true.  And when you feel from your deepest depth you were born a caregiver, it is so hard to put yourself first.

For the first time in my life, when I came back from Romania in June, I realized how much emotional energy I spent on my family (who needed me, but could have gone by without me too), and my health was falling apart.  So I started calling less often, and started taking care of myself.

As for the quitting, for me, it was the voice of my son who was ringing in my head after he said it : "mom, I love you and want to have you in my life for a long time, maybe it's time you quit".  If every person in my life failed me at a time or another one, my son never did.  Shortly after that it became my truth, and I told myself  "this is my time to quit", and never looked back.

Thank you for sharing your experience, your process, it will resonate with many on this site, and for sure will help a lot of members find their own path to freedom!

Strudel
Member

Great blog Missy! 

Mandolinrain
Member

Its wonderful when we finally begin to  recognize to take care of ourselves and learn to say 'no'. The freedom ...is ....so.... nice... Everything else and everyone else needs to be put on a back burner at times no matter how much you think they need you. Otherwise we just 'melt' into a lump of clay and give permission for everything else to form us.....and usually thats not what we want to become,....what they are trying to form.  xoxo

Rick4178
Member

Your on point, thanks

About the Author
Smoking is not an option for me. I no longer have a wishbone to quit smoking...I developed a backbone and I quit. When you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will quit smoking too.