A TRAUMATIZED DUDE
(Sung to the tune: “If I Only Had a Brain/Heart/Nerve” from The Wizard of Oz)
Thought that I was ordinary
Just like Sally, Dick or Harry
Not too brazen, not too prude
But psychology has saved me
Let me know that I’m half crazy
And just a traumatized dude
Now just who am I to doubt, dear
That if I’m acting out here
It’s because I’m so subdued
Freud has said our mothers haunt us
Jung insists it’s the unconscious
And I’m a traumatized dude
Self awareness is a flower
In a fifty minute hour
Where my ego gets pursued
When all of a sudden I discover
That my father was my mother
And just a traumatized dude
Now I bet you’re probably thinking
It could drive a guy to drinking
With a mental health so screwed
But my faith lies in the science
Of this endless talk alliance
‘Cause I’m a traumatized dude
Well I wrote my shrink a letter
Told him I was feeling better
That my soul had been renewed
But he assured me, oh so sweetly,
That my mommy never loved me
I’m still a traumatized dude
So if you ask me how I’m feeling
You might get my spools a reeling
As my past becomes unglued
And then I’ll tell you each sensation
Of my own fetal gestation
‘Cause I’m a traumatized dude
Thought that I was ordinary
Just like Sally, Dick or Harry
Not too civil, not too rude
But psychology has minced me
And so utterly convinced me
That I’m a traumatized dude.
David.
