I screwed up, and i am leaving the site, sorry.

[nory]

Yep, i am the major screw up, i smoked two cigarettes in three days, not that i needed them, or even wanted them i just did it, and its done, so everyone go ahead and beat me up, cuz i deserve it, my problem is i just wasnt ready, and mindset, yes even under my circumstances, still wasnt ready, guess thats the drug huh? I am very ashamed, i think, not even sure, kinda sad to say goodbye to you all, because i feel i need to, i am gonna delete my page tomorrow after work, i , for some reason have to hear what you guys have to say. I feel like a cigarette now and then aint gonna hurt me, mayble im wrong, who knows, noone. i did buy a pack, and i dont no if i want them or not, i might want another one, or i might not, i know with them there, i will prob want one, i really dont no. I honestly dont no if i will smoke one out of the pack, but the thing is i threw away almost 80 days, and honestly wish i would have failed before now, would have been easier to swallow, i am having a hard time with throwing away all those days, and letting everyone down. My roommate is so discusted with me, even tho she smokes, but its not as bad for her, cuz she has no KNOWN, problems caused from smoking, so that makes it better is guess. I amm sorry, and i thank you guys from the bottom of my heart, Hopefully i will be ready soon, maybe i wont even smoke anymore at all, and i will be back and surprise all of you. You guys keep up the good work. Love you all. Nory

[cindywilson]

it doesn't sound to me like it made you very happy, so I'm guessing not, right? Ok you messed up, why do want to give up? Who did you let down, not us, you let you down, that is why you feel awful I understand that you are upset, but I do not think you should just throw away all that work. If you fall down, you do not stay down there, you get back up and keep going. There are many successful quitters on here who fell several times before they got there with it. The fact that you are questioning what you are doing tells me you still want your quit, so keep going, throw the things away and start again. For you, I understand you feel you weren't exactly being given a choice, I remember you were mad about it, guess what neither was I, but after a while I realized, I still had a choice, I could choose to smoke and eventually kill myself or quit and fight for my life, same as you. I can never say this is fun, but I plan to keep fighting and even if I fall, I will get back up and keep fighting and I hope you choose to do the same. We are your friends and we aren't going to yell at you, we are or have been exactly where you are. I threw away a two year quit, took me ten years to get the courage to try again..guess that is why I'm fighting so hard this time. Do not give up on yourself! I'm your friend either way, just hope you wil really think about what you are choosing here.

[cheryl2]

Most smokers require multiple attempts before they successfully quit. I'm currently on my third attempt, and hopefully my last, but who knows? I think you are making an error with deleting your profile. You didn't LOSE the 80 days. YOU QUIT SMOKING FOR 80 DAYS!!! What an amazing accomplishment!!!
Keep your profile up. You will need this website again when you are ready to try again.
Hang in there.

[libby]

Stay on the site and keep reading, it will probably help you know that you really don't want to smoke. And do not think that it won't hurt to have one now and then, you will very quickly be back to the same amount or more that you smoked before you quit. I did the same thing after 4 years, thought it wouldn't hurt to have one and within a month I was back to a pack a day and like Cindy it took me 10 or 12 more years to try again. I also quit a couple of years ago for 7 months and started again. I'm really scared right now because it's almost 7 months for me this time and I don't want to screw it up like the last time. I say stay on the site and keep trying.

[barbara42]

please do not leave Nory, even if you think you are not ready, stay with us, if you leave you may never come this way again, please stay and just start over when you are ready

[nory]

You guys are so sweet, maybe i will stay on the site, and continue reading, but what do i do with my counter, because i already ruined that, i need to just freeeze it at where its at, and look at it everyday and cry, maybe i should get rid of it, i dont no. Thanks guys. Waiting for yah hwc.

[nory]

Thank Barbara, your so sweet.

[lee7]

reset your counter and keep putting in the effort. You leave, you lose. Its like giving up, dont give up because you slipped up.

[jim_taddeo]

My opinion is, from experience, addiction is a strange creature, it is us and it is not us performing these acts. We choose to do things we know are not good for us. NOW YOU ALSO KNOW THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER EITHER. It is wanting to feel good but not really knowing how. Nory, here you are in the company of people JUST LIKE YOU. Here you have a chance of discovering how to relearn your life without smoking. I'm not going to beat you up for being an addict. You bought a pack of cigarettes to smoke didn't you? Do you REALLY want to smoke them? You can do what you want with your counter......I ONLY WANT TO SEE YOU SUCCEED IN QUITTING. It has changed my life because I CHOOSE TO LET IT!
Stick around...no point in running away I say.......... 🙂
Papa

[Carenda]

Nory, this is just a bump in the road. Stay on the site and continue to read the support others will give to you. This is a great site to be a part of becuase we all have or had struggles. Stay with it even it it means setting a new quit date.

[nikki6]

Hey Nory,
This is an "online support network". If we didnt need any help or the occasional swift kick in the a$$, we wouldn't need to be on here. I would suggest using one of the quit counters, copy your stats, and post them on your page to serve as a reminder why you cannot anf WILLnot ever take another puff. You made it 80 days hon. Your target quit was the rest of your life! You can have the NEXT 80 days and beyond. Don't forget the cigarettes don't make you feel better and they definitely aren't your friend. Nicotine is a trap, and a good one at that! Take your quit back sweetie, you deserve it!

[patty17]

Please don't give up Nory...I am in the same boat with you...and i just restarted my counter too...Don't think of it as starting over ...think of it as continueing with a great quit! Hang in there!!

[nikki6]

BTW, I hope that this relapse gives you the reinforcement to keep your quit as much as mine did. Read some of my blogs, you will see that the 4 weeks that I "lost" haunt me and motivates me to guard my quit. I am soon to be on 3 weeks this time and that little relapse has made this the absolute easiest quit for me so far because now I know first hand how easy it is to lose the quit that you have worked for and how easy it is to just fall right back into place. I was so mad at myself that I had just given up quitting too and the addiction was always there, waiting for you and it was like I'd never quit. I know now that damn Nicodemon will always be waiting for me in the wings.

[cindywilson]

Nikki that was a great way to put it! That is how the monster wins, all it has to do is convince you it is all over so quit trying and it wins. I went through it too, to the point I would not even ask God for help, my shame was too great or so I thought, but when I got the courage he was and is there. This time I know the battle and I know we can lose a battle and go on and win that war! Oh those little demons are off to the side waiting quietly, but you can make them run when you refuse to listen to their lies...you just can't quit your quit, the counter means not crap, it is what is in your heart that matters

[nory]

Thanks again Cindy and nikki, you guys are so great.

[janie5]

Don't give up Nory....I threw away 6 months 3 weeks and 4 days two years ago. The only person I let down was MYSELF.

This evening at 9:30 pm I will be celebrating ONE YEAR SMOKE FREE! You can do it if you wrap your mind around the idea. Keep your page here and come and read ....it does help.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Listen
You are playing with yourself.

You don't even have to want to quit. You just decide and keep them away from your face.

How simple is that?

Change your perspective.

Its not even will power.

Its a decision.

Everyone wants to make it harder than it is.

[ctm]

I feel like a cigarette now and then aint gonna hurt me, mayble im wrong, who knows, noone.

It is the nature of this addiction that we cannot have even a single puff. The deal is smoke nothing or smoke everything. That's just the way it is.

It took me a year and 6 tries to get my quit off the ground Nory. Your chances of success are much better if you stick around. I hope you stay.

(((((Nory)))))

[hwc]

Nory:

I knew you were going to smoke. It's been obvious from your blogs for a while now as you've been walking right up to the edge. You'll have to figure out why. I suspect that, having been successful in not smoking for an extended period of time, you became frightened by the thought of actually never taking another puff. That's a smoker who isn't smoking rather than someone who, even though they may have to fend off a crave here and there, is truly excited by finally being able to consider the rest of their life without smoking. Alas, nobody (so far) has been able to bottle that mindset and sell it or give it away.

I honestly don't believe in the whole beat yourself up thing. IMO, that is horribly unproductive. I'm not going to pat you on the back because we are talking life or death decisions here. However, beating yourself up sets up the false notion of a morality play. It's not that. It's an addiction. You are in the same trap we've all been in. The only difference is that you haven't found the key to unlock the chains. My only advice is that you should try to figure out what was so damn hard about simply making a commitment each morning to never take another puff? Seems to me that sticking to that commitment, one day at a time, would be a heck of a lot easier than starting over.

I agree that your chances are better if you stick around. Actually, your chances will be a heck of a lot better if you jump right back on the horse. Make that commitment to never take another puff, just for one day. I know you can do that. Then make it for another day. And, meanwhile, tell us what exactly it is that you think smoking would do for you? Because I don't get it.

Get mad at this damn thing.

[Sylvia_Deitz]

Wow! Nori! I wish I could make you understand or grasp the feeling of being a quitter for good. I know you have to be ready to say goodbye to them. I had quit for a year and 1/2 10 years ago. It took 10 years after that one puff and being diagnosed with emphysema to make me quit again. Please don't let that happen to you! It will if you keep smoking...nobody gets away with it. I thought all those years that I was immune to any repercussions from smoking since I took lots of vitamins and supplements, but guess what? I wasn't. I now have to live with the knowledge of what I did to myself and know that I'll probably die fighting for oxygen at some point, so I beg you....please get back on the horse and try again. There's so much info on this site and what's not on here is on WhyQuit.com. I hope you will stay here with us. We're here for you.

[cory7]

Hi Nory,
when i think about a slip, that's all it is. unless you continue smoking which then it becomes a relapse.
it's kinda like being on a diet. if you blow it one meal or even one day, you just get back on it the next morning.
you don't have to give up all you've learned. just make the decision to be an EX. YOU can do this.

[david-hibling]

Too many wise words here dont need my two penny worth - except I was able to overcome a relapse - I did not leave here stayed low for a while and just watched read and listened to advice before finally being in the mindset to stop - it helped me in an odd way not to have a counter - still does as i take it one day at a time - to me thats all I need

[AutumnWoman]

Oh Nory, don't leave. If a relapse were the reason for leaving, I never would have made it this far. Don't be angry at yourself, the addict, get angry at the addiction that keeps you trapped in this vicious cycle. Use that anger to keep you committed to your quit. Realize that smoking is self-sabotage and vow not to participate in it any more. You (and all of us) deserve to reap the benefits of health and life.

[claudia2]

Nory, You have had such sound advice. I am sure growing up you heard the saying, "IF at first you don't succeed, try, try again!" Who here is going to beat you up??? We are all addicts and it could have been anyone of us. It was almost me two days ago........
Please don't go, no one wants to see you leave.....forget about your counter, set it when you are ready. You want to be a non smoker and you are with people that want the same and want the same for you.
I would be disappointed if your page is gone this afternoon.....I think we all would, we would feel as if we FAILED YOU.

[cindywilson]

Nory I hope you realize how many people are here trying to help you and thinking of you, Claudia is right, for me everytime we talk to people and then we lose them, we all think we failed at helping, but Sylvia is also right, as I had said I had a 2 year quit in and had battled cancer and degenerative spinal disease and survived, but I turned back, smoked for another ten years and now I have COPD and many health problems, there is always a price for smoking, too many see them as a friend, but if they are they are the worst friend ever, because they take, but they never give, they lie, they hurt and they destroy...

[catherine-baker]

Hey Nory really proud of you for EVEN writing this....I mean think about it. Someone who wants to give up just walks away with out saying a word. Something tells me REALLY you want to be a non smoker. I have the greatest news for you ...YOU ARE. It took me 28 years to remember. Have you reas any of Allen Carr's booklet's? Try reading this free info it helped A LOT : http://www.wowio.com/users/product.asp?BookId=2367&Link=1

[carlie]

Keep it simple.........

You relapsed....figure out why - and don't do it again !!! People here have blown longer quits that you...so you can't be a "major" screw-up !!!
And we don't "TRY"...we DO !!! Having a Plan "B" let's you have an "out" for Plan "A" when it doesn't succeed....MAKE it succeed !!!!!!

I don't keep any smokes, ashtrays, etc. in my house. Once you go to the store and buy a pack, you've set yourself up !!! Don't do it !!!
Hang out here...read...discuss...and get your mindset in place....then do it...never...EVER put a cig to your face again !!!! DONE !!!

[Denise28]

I don't know what else I can say except you slipped, please don't leave! You can do this, let the slip make you stronger! There is sooo much good advice already given here.