Just when I was so confident in my quit, patches and all, I slipped up and failed. Family problems, my chronic health issues, my husbands health, moving away from a place that I'd grown to love, a desire to start a family however my chronic health issues makes this a challenge, financial struggles, I can go on and on. I continually turn to cigarettes to comfort my pain and I don't want cigarettes to be my comfort. I'm tired of being a habitual quitter. Both my husband and I were doing so well in our first quit and it was I that dropped the ball. I battle guilt at times and I want to drive the nail in the coffin so-to-speak and quit for good. I want to fight the cravings that come and overcome. I want to impress myself and my husband. Turn things around again the way they were when we were quit the first time around. We were doing so well. Healthy, fit, eating health consciously, we laughed about smoking and felt bad for those who smoked cigarettes. Now here I am, here we are. Back at square one. I know it's going to take time to clean out my lungs and get my body back in the shape that it was (not physically) before I slipped up.
All the times that I quit and slipped up, quit and slipped up, quit and slipped up, I feel as though I've reached that point of being fed up with myself. The habit. The cigarettes. The addiction. z
It's ruining so much. No more. I'm done. Cigarettes aren't a comfort, it's a lie to make all those addicted think so. I always pray that nothing bad will happen because of the countless mistakes I've made.
I just want to move on and reclaim my healthy happy life.
