I'm ready.... I think

[cin3]

Think this is my very first blog post I ever made... not much of a blogger, but I read many of the posts and some of them were pretty moving. Kinda like a public diary.

Well... my story goes like this: I'm 38, a smoker for almost half my life (what an embarrassment). I quit 6 years ago the second I found out I was having a baby... just like that! Two years ago I graduated college and was celebrating the last day of presentations with all my school pals AND.... I picked one up... a BIG MISTAKE! I bummed a few here and there, took a couple out of my husbands pack when he wasn't looking, and before I knew it I was driving to the store to grab a pack. WHY? I was embarrassed to tell my husband that I was sneaking around and waiting for him to leave to work, or sometimes even making excuses for him to go to the store just so I could sneak a smoke. NOW... I wish I never went to that graduation celebration with my friends and WISH my friend would have just said NO when I asked for one. But it's not anybody's fault but my own. 

I thought it would be easy to stop... I mean, I quit for 4 years! I hardly even thought about picking one up! I looked at smokers and wondered why they HAD to smoke. It is such a stinky, unhealthy, costly, and unattractive habit. Now... here I am... a smoker!

My husband smokes too, which makes it even harder to quit. Friends come over and spend half their time out on the patio. I wonder what I will do if I quit... I think I will go crazy just knowing they are out there smoking. That is a trigger.

Believe it or not.... I have NEVER smoked in front of my parents. NEVER! I feel like a teenager when they come over. I brush my teeth three times and take a shower before they arrive. I am so guilt ridden over it. They have never smoked and would be devastated if they knew I did. And just imagine.... god forbid... I had a health complication because of it. What if? what if?

I am embarrassed... when I am sitting in traffic and the person next to me at a sop light rolls up his window because it is 8AM and who wants to get a stinky wiff of cigarette smoke in their face that early in the morning?

I want my motivation to be my daughter... I want to spend all the years I possibly can with her, watching her grow and being there with her, for her, every step of the way. 

I spoke with my husband AGAIN today about wanting to quit. I signed up to this site and have officially logged in and created my first blog. My start date isn't for another two weeks but I really hope to do it sooner... like NOW! 

Why the heck is it so hard! I know it's all in your head... I did it before, I can do it again. I'm ready...I think!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

You can start any time you are ready to stop smoking.

In order to quit smoking you have to quit smoking so you have to be ready and willing to be uncomfortable for awhile.

[maggie_8-1-2010]

Hi!  Welcome Cin.  Whether intentional or not the story in the beiginning of your blog is a true testimoney to what happens when someone thinks they can have jsut one puff. 

Education is the key to long term success. In addition to the information here there are aseveral other sites that have been very helpful .

http://quitsmokingonline.com/  and   http://www.whyquit.com  are two such sites.

Read as much as you can and come beck here often. You CAN do this. We will be here to support you.

[lois2]

it is a drug, it is hard to quit i am quitting again lost count of my quit, but we can quit, good luck,

[cawcaw]

Yes, I felt the embarrassment when the car next to me rolled up their window because of my smoke!  Thanks for reminding me!

You can do this!  I found the quitsmokingonline website Maggie mentioned to be really helpful for logically explaining how those beliefs we have about the horrors of withdrawal are all in our head.  It's uncomfortable, but not that bad.

[cin3]

(as my husband goes out the back door to smoke).... I looked at that site and it scared me! OMG.... I have to commit once and for all. Plain and simple... I don't want to get sick and die. What if the damage is done.... now I am turning into a hypochondriac!

Thanks for the support you guys... this site might be my new social network:) (deep breath.... and another.... and another)

[molzep]

I     think I can I think I can 

I KNOW I CAN! you've done it before, so you KNOW you can. No hesitation , just decide, then go for it! All you have to do to succeed is NOT do something. How hard can it be? 🙂

[Strudel]

Welcome to the site and congratulations on deciding to quit. It doesn't have to be as hard as you think. In my opinion it is all about attitude. I don't know which site you already went to.....but, I really liked - http://quitsmokingonline.com

It has lots of common sense information about this addiction and how to get out of it! Please read all 10 modules. Also, if you haven't read Allen Carr's book  -" The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" - it opened my eyes, which is pretty amazing considering that I smoked for 40 years. This site is such a great support also!

[steveb3]

Welcome to the site, This is great decision on your part to stop smoking, This can be as easy or as hard as you want to make it. But I know you can do this, Hell if I can anyone can. We are all here for you.

Sence you have quit before you know what you have to do.

Quiting is easy Staying quit is the hard part.

Take care my friend and stay positive and stay focused.

Steve B

[ilovelucy]

You're nearly there! Do it while you're young. The sessions on the patio are illusory with a smoke -- it's not what it seems -- imagine cadavers on the patio laughing away and then you'd rather chase them with an extinguisher!

I would rather die than have my parents learn that I smoked by getting a lung related disease. Long story but they are good people who did a lot to set me up for a life that didn't involve drink or smoke which they did because they suffered so much as children in families plagued by addictions.

So I find myself bargaining with God at night which is probably not a good use of my time but I am not smoking and won't even consider it at long last. More than 60 days quit now and urges are passing thoughts -- much easier than I thought.

[pam12]

I'm with you. Very difficult thing to do, especially with someone else smoking in the household. Any chance you can convince your hubby to do it with you? Even if he doesn't want to join you it seems to me that now that the weather is getting colder, now would be a good time to tackle it as it is not as fun to go stand out on the patio and smoke in the freezing cold weather. The nice weather and being outside all of the time in the spring/summer is a real big trigger for me so now is the time for me as well. Got a false start about a week ago and lasted one day....time to try again for me.

[jane-doe3]

Boy I have done it all, the patio, the person in the next car, the shower, brushing and gargling, spraying clothes. I can't wait to stop all ao that, it will be so much easier and the bomus is getting well. I have 24 hours in and I am off to a good start.  I plan on this being the last time I try.  Good luck to you, you can do it.  Jane

[minimoo2]

I quit on October 3. I had also quit while I was pregnant, but I had only stopped while I was pregnant. I was smoking in the parking lot of the hospital when I was discharged. I probably wouldn't have started back if my baby had lived. She died at birth. I stopped one time a few years ago for just 3 days because my neighbor bet me that I couldn't stop smoking for 3 days. Somehow, we bet that if I did stop for 3 days, he would get me the pink stuffed cow that I wanted. I got my cow and smoked right outside the door of WalMart. This time, I stopped forever. Our governor has been adding tobacco taxes over the last 2 years, and it got more expensive than I like, so I decided to stop. A lung cancer scare helped me make that decision final. My boyfriend smokes. It was really hard at first, because he won't smoke outside. I kind of understand him, because he almost chain smokes, and he would look like a permanent parking lot decoration at our apartments if he always went outside to smoke. I have a lap top computer that my mother gave me in August, and I decided to use it whenever I was bored and impatient, and only smoke mornings and nights when smoking was part of my routine. I started enjoying the computer more than cigarettes, so I ran out of cigarettes on October 3rd and haven't smoked since then. I also have a Blackberry and a Samsung Seek, so when I go somewhere that I don't want to take my computer or it won't get a signal, I can still go online, text, take pictures, talk, or do a lot of things that are more interesting than smoking. I love technology. It made quitting a lot easier.