I just don't know

[byepolarbear]

I did not sleep again last night.  I wanted to try and crawl to the car a go buy some to smoke; I wanted to take an overdose; I wanted a lot of things, none good.  so I drank a coke and cried.

We are on day 3, but I am so confused.  Part of me wants one to some, the other part hates me for wanting one.

I can not calm down.  I have taken ll my meds hours ago.  I have taken some more Valium bringing the total up to 40 mg.  Still no relief.

We have to go to the doctor in just a little while.  Will I be strong enough to drive past the store, or will I stop and buy a pack?  I don't know the answer.

I am losing it, and it is all over a little smoke.  Maybe a bullet is the answer to my quitting.

Bear

[jeanie4]

You can do it Mark!  Today is Day 3 for me too.  We can be Quit buddies.  Yes, you can drive past the store--you are stronger than you think.  Some say Day 3 is the hardest.  My Quit Coach said all I have to do today is Not Smoke!  Take it 5 minutes at a time when the urges come --they will pass.

Sorry you're in so much  pain.  I'll pray for you.

[onelasttime]

I THINK YOU SHOULD DISCUSS SOME INHOUSE THERPY YOU ARE REALLY IN NEED SO SOME SEROUS COUNCILING. I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO DO ANY THING TO HURT YOUR SELF. I KNOW YOU SAID YOU HA IT BEFORE BUT IT IS EVIDENT IT DIDN'T WORK. I DON'T THINK YOU ARE GOING TO QUIT SMOKING WHEN YOU HAVE ALL THESE GREATER PROBLEMS GOING ON YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT GETTING SOME HELP.

[pls]

It would better to go get a pack of smokes than to put a bullet in your head. Shit tell the person with you to go get some smokes for you. I'm sure she will if she reads what you just wrote.

[anacondahead]

Day 3 is very hard but you are doing it! It will get easier. Please hang in there - you are not losing it. We care. Stay with us.

[byepolarbear]

I have talked to my theapist (she is not sure that I should not buy a pack), but that is not what I really want to do.  I leave for the doctor in just a few minutes.  Amy has just told that SHE will not ask me to stop at the store.  So I am part way there.

Bear

[suzyq4]

So many issues to deal with! I have to admire your fortitude in sticking with this. It's showing you that you DO have the power within yourself to do this! Believe in yourself! Believe in the good sense God blessed you with! You are stronger than the nicotine addiction!

[ali2]

WHOA<

I am sure we all mean well in saying do not do this and do not do that.........but in all reality? WE ARE NOT DOCTORS. Whether you smoke or not is NOT going to cure what is going on with you. I know this because I have smoked over and over thinking it has been the answer when I too am depressed. BUT?> YOU are more than depressed in what you wrote....IF you meant it all. If you seriously meant this..........then you need  to ask yourself what kind of help do I really need? Smoking is not the cause or cure to the things you just wrote. I hope you do NOT smoke and make it thru all you are going thru. I hope this did not come out as harsh. I was being truthful with you hoping that would help you. I DO care. Let us know how you are later. OK?

Ali

[jimer]

talk to the dr......... you need more than we can do for you.....

[jimer]

that came accross hard... what I mean is the dr can help in ways we cannot.  We can be there for the other stuff that the dr. cannot help with but it sounds like you really need a complete physical and some tlc...

[kane1126]

Mark, seriously, I hope your day gets better....

[annie36]

Mark, I am so sorry that you hurt the way that you do. I think that your emotional pain combined with the physical is too much for you to bear. I think that the meds probably make that worse. I am praying for you and I want for you to quit but you need to do it when you think that you can handle it. We are all here for you. Take care, Annie

[byepolarbear]

Great news:  I passed several stores and did NOT stop. 

The pharmacy will not have my pain meds till this afternoon.  That is not good.

Well I bought a Frosty from Wendy's instead buying something to smoke.  I think we may make it through the day.

Mark

[byepolarbear]

Great news:  I passed several stores and did NOT stop. 

The pharmacy will not have my pain meds till this afternoon.  That is not good.

Well I bought a Frosty from Wendy's instead buying something to smoke.  I think we may make it through the day.

Mark