I have been weak

[byepolarbear]

I am going to try again on Monday.

I have just been so sick and in so much pain that I could not handle everything.  I need the surgery, and I need it now.  I can not move without causing great pain.  I have swamped the pain pills, and I do not know what to do.

I really want to quit.  I have to quit.  I have a lot of good reasons to quit, but then I just loose it.  I need sugesstions, support and prayers.

Now I really feel like a failure and loser.

Mark

[JonesCarpeDiem]

we can encourage you but you have to keep from smoking under any circumstanes

[byepolarbear]

You are right, of course, and I am trying.  I guess I have to try harder.  The pain level makes it hard not to smoke.

Mark

[Kinterralynn]

You're not a failure and you are not a loser... you are simply human.   You are trying to beat an addiction while you are fighting other problems in your life and there is nothing easy or simple about that.   It will be okay.  

I'm sure there are some who are going to disagree with me, but I think you should wait to quit.  You've got too much on your plate right now and trying to quit seems to me like you're just setting yourself up for disaster.   Many people gave me that very same advice when I was going through a lot a different emotional things,  they told me to wait until I could handle it and they were right.  I failed then because it was one more thing added to my plate that was already over flowing.

Cut down, for sure, play the mental game of waiting just ten minutes longer when you want a smoke and then next time wait twelve minutes longer and so on and so on....    

My best wishes to you.

[byepolarbear]

Thank you for the advice, and you are right.  But I want to quit now before the surgery.  I want everything to stop.

Mark

[JonesCarpeDiem]

you can do it Mark. How does smoking remove your physical pain?

[Mary84]

Is your surgery scheduled?    If not, I would schedule it now.  It may give you the extra courage and strength you need to quit.  Has your doctor told you how long you need to be smoke free before you can have the surgery.    I am so sorry for all the pain you are in and I know how difficult it is to quit when smoking is a distraction fron the pain.    I'll be praying for you and yes, please try to quit again tomorrow.   One thing at a time and one step at a time.    Best, Mary

[Bonnie11.3.2009]

Why would you wait til Monday to stop smoking again?  Once you recognize this is not the path you want to be on you need to get back on the path you do want to be on asap.  If not, you might just get lost forever!

[byepolarbear]

I do not know how or why, but smoking makes my physical pain less.  I have talked to the shrink and the other doctors about it, and they say many people have reported it.  so there must be something to it.

We are waiting for the team of doctors to get their schedules worked out.  It should not be mote than 3 more weeks, maybe less.  I just can not smoke AFTER the surgery.  So I have to reteach myself now.

I have only had 4 today.  But when midnight comes, I am going to cut that number to 0.

Mark

[onelasttime]

I wonder if you have considered like a rehab hospital to help you deal with the pain and help you with the cigs also. Sounds like you have alot of emotional garbage that needs to be cleaned up also. Maybe that could be a option for you much luck with how ever you approach all these problems you have.I know they will not do surgury on you  unless its a emergency if you are a smoker you know you are not eligible for a transplant of any kind either.

[byepolarbear]

I have 4 herniated disk, and the fusion that was done 3 years ago, has come undone, the rod is bent and all the screws are loose.  Plus I have at least one piched nerve in my lower back.

A rehab hospital is out of the question.  Been there and done that.  It just made everything worse.  I will NOT ever put myself in that type of danger again.

Mark

[aztec]

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Distractions when cravings hit

Listen to positive music or affirmation cd or tape

Think about your reasons for quitting

Play cards

Read book , magazine or newspaper

Pray

Fix something that is broken

Wash your windows

Do aerobics

Go to church

Cook a new recipe

Take a long walk

Read the comics

Drink orange juice

Hoola hoop

Watch tv

Call a friend

Change your hair

Dance

Sleep

Visit a friend

Play with your pet

Shop

Tidy up

Drink water

Go fishing
weave a basket
do crafts
play golf
do jigsaw puzzles
go bowling
play computer games
knit
take another bath
do tai chi
take a drive
go jogging
garden
meditate
swim
go for a walk
do crossword  puzzles
build a model
go to a museum
go to the library
shop
join a club
surf the internet
doodle
do needlepoint
hike
paint of sketch
do aerobics
play an instrument
do volunteer work
get a manicure
sing
redecorate a room
read
collect stamps or coins
write letters
play video games
make jewelry
take a class
Read the bible or other spiritual text

Listen to music

Organize a closet

Do yard work

Rearrange furniture

Water your plants

Write in a journal

Call aloved one

Cry if you feel like it

Lift weights or go running

Write an angry letter but don’t’mail it

Apologize if I hurt someones feelings

Celebrate with non-smoking friends

Laugh with a full breath

Do yoga

Meditate

Take a shower

Take an oil bath

Do a model

Crochet

Learn something new

Go swimming

ADD YOUR OWN

Chemicals in cigarettes

According to seton health

There are 4,000 chemicals in tobacco products

Here’s a few

Carbon monoxide

Acetone

Arsenic

Butane

Carbon dioxide

Formaldehyde

Ammonia

Nicotine

Polonium etc etc

Polonium is a radioactive element that is inhaled in the lungs. Someone who smokes apack and ahalf a day get a daily dose of radiation equal to four chest x-rays.

[aztec]

this ocmputer thing always happens.

oops

[miriam4]

Hi Mark,

I'm sorry for the pain you are experiencing.  Has the doctor prescribed pain medication for you?

There are some pains that never go away.  l know I've had to deal with pain in my life, and the best way was to accept it and deal with it the best I could.  I could not escape the pain by lighting a cigarette.  I had to say to myself,"this is what I've been dealt with & how I deal with it will build my character for either the better or the worse."  I decided to build it for the better-smokefree!!!

I am so happy to see you try again.  Never give up on yourself. 

[byepolarbear]

These are all good things.  But remember I am in a wheel chair and can only stand for a few minutes.

I have cut down to about 4 a day, and tomorrow I am going to reduce that.

Wish I could read, but the meds they hae me on, make focusing on a book impossible.

I just have to keep praying for strength.

Mark

[miriam4]

You're in my prayers

[snowwhite]

Smoking alleviates pain by activating the dopaminic pathways in the brain (our internal pleasure center). All of our brains have been physcially changed by smoking, not just yours. We are hard-wired now to seek that stimulation. Once we began smoking the neural pathways changed. It can be reversed, but it does take time. Quit beating yourself up. It is not just in your mind.

There are times in my life that I tried to quit and it put me in such a precarious mental state that it was a danger to me. If smoking saves your sanity and helps with your pain, then don't feel terrible when you give in. You sound like you have reached your tolerance for discomfort and it is very understandable that this added stress is not good for you now. Try to concentrate on one issue at a time! These are all big items and I think you asking too much of yourself to conquer all right now.

I have been through the same things you are going through now and became well, but I could only tackle one thing at a time. It took time to get you to where you are and you have to be realistic--it will take time to get through to the other side. You will be in my prayers.

There are some great videos and information on WHYQUIT.com

Please take a look when you have time.

[byepolarbear]

Thank you for your note.  I just cried and cried.  The surgery scares me, the hospital scares, the pain is off the chart and the morphine is not working as well as it use to.  I have called the doctors, but they will not increase the morphine untill March 1, and they say let the smoking drug do its thing.

I will take a look tomorrow morning when I am feeling better.  Thank you for your support.

Mark

[pat62]

I have blown it this week. But will try again next week. Stay strong  and will keep you in my thoughts!!!!!

pb