I have been a bad boy - I have started smoking again - NO excuses

[pappasmurf]

I finally had the courage to talk to my friends .................

Here I am - asking for help again and hope ya'll won't tear me a to big of an ******* ...

I could  write a book and that would not suffice and or excuse my behavior....
I do not want to get to deep into details as of yet, just trying to get my over my angst
TO come back before you with my tail between my leg's...(<--- Doggie style)
I need your help, and I will gladly again take advise from the community!

Please assist...
Below are a few adapted Lyrics - sorta explaining how I feel in my current state of mind,

Dirty.....Sad....Alone....And now I layed out my heart to you - I feel that I am NOT so alone any more...

Hugs PappaSmurf

*I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right (again) right here *

Johnny Cash Lyrics (copied-from *Hurt*)

Nicodemon is here again 😞

Suicidal, ooh, yeah Deep inside my soul I've been praying there's somewhere else For me to go!
Come on, people Ooh, don't you hear my pain? I'm out here in Babylon Waiting for the day!
"Cause I've lived a life of sin And I heard that us sinners Have got a chance with Him"
I'm ready Oh, I ain't *NO freedom train* 'Cause the way that I am headed, yeah There is no thing as pain
Ah, Jesus Sweet Jesus, can't You hear? Please don't leave us on our own Living here with fear
Ooh, I've had a season in hell And I'm getting pretty tired down here Oh, please break the spell
Sweet Jesus, can't You hear? Please don't leave us on our own Living here with fear

Are YOU READY? LYRICS (*Lyrics copied from The United Nations of Sound & RICHARD ASHCROFT*)
!!!Kinda - adapted lyrics to my situation -!!!

The fear is great ...............

[newt2]

You got my sympathy and support.  I am only at day number six, and I think about getting a pack every 5 minutes or so.  I wonder if it is worth it.  Glad you still want to quit.  When I broke a few years ago , after 9 months without, I didn'/t even try to quit again.  I was instantly back where I was.  I know now that quit is quit.  No in between.  You can do it.

[becks]

you only have yourself to answer to because it is your life, your freedom and it is really as simple as that.  The mind of the addict is you biggest obstacle.  Just keep saying "NO", stand strong and you will be free.  study and educate yourself on what cigarettes do and the phases your body goes through. Stay away from anything that will trigger the smoke.

You can do it...but you alone have to decide this and take the journey to freedom!  

[SmokedOut041412]

I can imagine how devastated you must be as I let go of a 6 1/2 year quit way back when.

A lesson in this for all---We must never get too comfortable in our quits---We must never let our guard down!

I hope that you are ready to tackle this addiction again---NOW---the sooner the better. Stay close to the site. (((Hugssss)))

Teresa

[jdc1953]

Never Ever Forget.......it can happen to anyone.  Stay close.

N.O.P.E. and you won't smoke. 

[shaheen]

NO PROBLEM THOMAS. PAST is PAST. NOW YOU SHOULD START YOUR JOURNEY again.

We are here to support you. take my warm love. I honor you for your honest behaver. ❤️ 

((((((((((hugs))))))))))

[family-first]

Welcome back! Just came back myself about 7 days ago! We will do this together!

[Breakinchains]

Hi pappa, good to see you again. I don't know why you smoked, but you must focus on eliminating your reasons (excuses) to smoke. Check out the Allan Carr video on my page, I think it may help you out.

[jojo_2-24-11]

Hi Pappa, It is good to see you. You know what you got to do! Educate yourself and really look at how and why you let your quit go! Get going on your preparation and not let anything come between you and your quit ever! IT'S THAT IMPORTANT, YOU ARE THAT IMPORTANT!

[terrycpam]

Don't be so hard on yourself, because I quit for a yr once and then picked a cig up and there I was back smoking again....and here i am goi ng to quit again, and I say that I will stay smoke free, but it is a drug, and it affects our mental part, which our brain thinks it is going to help us...

I have only been on this site for a couple of days, but what I have seen and learned is let it out (blog it) because this is a terrible drug, and together we can help each other to get through it...

No one is perfect....

[lois2]

welcome back pappa. i know it was hard to come after your quit ofover 6 years, i don't never make it very long, and i am back. you know what you are up agaist.so get to work.

[Giulia]

I feel your hurt.  Please do us all a favor and explain, when and if you can - WHY your relapse happened.  Don't rush into the why.  Study it deeply.  When you think you understand it, look again.  And THEN tell us why.   I need to know why after all that time quit, you relapsed.  Because I don't want to do that myself.  So your lesson will help, not only me, but others on here.  You KNOW better.  And a lot of us KNOW better.  So tell us what is it that we still need to know BETTER.  Because you've just experienced it.  Glad you're not just giving it all up to smoke for the next 20 years.....

[Dakota_Posse]

Hey Pappa!!!  Welcome back.......kinda had a feeling something happened when you dropped off suddenly........

You know how this works.....make your plan, set your date and then read, read, read....we will ALWAYS be here Pappa......next time give us a chance to help you by posting a HELP blog before you smoke.....

So glad to have you home again.....stay close to us!

Cindy/Dakota Posse

[pappasmurf]

Blame is not acceptable -  I was involved in a major (MVA) acr accident with my 12 year old son, I ended up with a major concussion (etc) my Brain neurons/nerves were/still are misfiring and I am having big problems with short term memory loss - so I guess that my mental state of mind actually told me that I am a *Smoker*...................

Again, not a valid and or exxcuse with my failure to continue on the path to a healthier life.....

Just saying...

Pappa

[froguelady]

Welcome back, we are all one one puff away and that is why staying close to EX is so important.  You know what to do already, read, set your date and commit to quit.  EX will be here for you.

[ShawnP]

Always lending an ear when you need it! just get back up on that horse soon!