I'm so sorry to hear this. I know for me, this would be an obstacle. I pretty much have put my smoking friends at an arms distance for now. Most understand, but a few do not and are angry with me for quitting. Surprisingly enough, I never knew quitting would cost me friendships. On a good note, I would think that true friends would understand and be more supportive and since quitting, I have discovered how many non-smoking (some quitters) friends that I actually have and all the new friends I have made. Someone last week that met me was surprised that I was a smoker, a heavy one at that. (I considered myself a heavy smoker) I hope maybe you can sit down with your friend and talk to her about her decision, so much time and to start back is a shame. I hope this does not happen to me. As for today, I never want to be a smoker again or be chained by the slavery it caused me to enjoy a normal life. I've discovered a whole new lifestyle that is much more eventful than when I was a smoker. I work through each day one day at a time in hopes to never desire that life again. My prayers are with your friend, hopefully, she will get back on track soon before it's too late.
I totally agree with it is a choice. What a shame, I also wonder why the people she's living with would do such an aweful thing. Maybe a weak moment, but she should know better than to dance with temptation. I know I'm only at day 57, but I do my best to avoid all temptation, even losing friends over it. It's okay, the friends I lost maybe weren't such good friends as I had once thought, some even mocked me. I continue to move forward because no one can replace me for my family or give me the life I feel now. It was my CHOICE to quit and it has been the best choice I've made in my entire life. If I don't care enough about myself, why should I expect anyone else to. You are correct in your stance, more people need this approach. I know I would mortify those who have spent their time and energy lifting me up in my darkest times so far when it would be easy to go back and enjoy a smoke, I would not want to disappoint them or mostly, disappoint myself to fail this time. Now it's serious because the years of smoking have given me the ultimate warning signs to quit before something really horrible happens. I look for your posts and you are a source of not only knowledge but encouragement.
Hello,
My name is Dale. I was quit 18 months before joining this site and had participated on another site during that time. I learned a lot there and brought it with me. I joined this site the first week of August 2008. I didn't pressure myself to quit.
HOW I QUIT
I didn't count, I didn't deny myself to get started.
When I considered quitting (at a friends request to influence his brother to quit), I simply told myself to wait a little longer. No denial, nothing painful. After 4 weeks I was down to 5 cigarettes from a pack a day. The strength came from proving to myself, I didn't need to smoke because I normally would have smoked. Simple yes? I bought the patch. I forgot to put one on on the 4th day. I needed it the next day but the following week I forgot two days in a row I put one in my wallet with a promise to myself that I would slap it on and wait an hour rather than smoke. It rode in my wallet my first year.There's nothing keeping any of you from doing this. It doesn't cost a dime. This is about unlearning something you've done for a long time. The nicotine isn't the hard part. Disconnecting from the psychological pull, the memories and connected emotions is. :-) Time is the healer.
