I had a fight with stress and guess who won!

[saprina]

So a lot has been going on since the last time I was on here. First off I don't know if I told you guys this but My husband and I drove from WA to VA so I could be home during deployment. Well that is where everything started to go down hill. Our car broke down in Minnesota when we had already ran out of money and had no where to stay. Long story short, My landlord was kind enough to front me the money to buy an older car to get us back home. Well the very next day that we get here my husband has to fly back to WA to get ready for deployment. Few days later my dad makes two trips to the ER in on day for shortness of breath, He is literally gasping for air. He is a chain smoker and has COPD already. well between all of the stress and even though I see my dad dying in front of my eyes, I have a fall back. I started smoking again. I feel horribly because my six year old is questioning me about why I m smoking again and didn't I make a deal with him to stop smoking....I now have to start all over and set a new quit date and feel like I have failed.

[jeannie2]

Sorry to hear about your dad, and even though you can see him suffering, its hard, i know. Start over, you can do this! I watched my dad die of lung cancer, so i saw it all. You are a young mother, and you made a deal to stop. I know you can do this.... so do you.

[Carenda]

Saprina, a lot has really happened since you were on the site last. Plan on how you will do your quit this time. Prepare yourself mentally and reset your clock. You are the one role model that your child will be watching. You can do this. Stay with the site and blog. The majority of us have quit more than once but it can be done where it is a permanant quit. Don't give up. We are here to support you. Get back on this site and read, read, and read. Blog and correspond with others who have been where you are. Remember that you are not a failure. The nicotine has a way to talking to us in a negative way.

[michele3]

Hi Saprina! I'm new on here and only have a tentative quit date set, but I have tried several times before and am trying to do some research this time so I will be better prepared. I'm so sorry about your Dad. Stress is a HUGE HUGE trigger and it looks like you've got a lot of it right now. Take some time for things to settle down before you set a new quit date - if you try too soon it'll probably just cause you more stress. Try not to beat yourself up over it - this is quite possibly one of the hardest things you will ever do. Look at your calendar and set your new date - be realistic about what's going on in your life right now - even if it takes another month or two, you'll still be back in the saddle again soon! As far as your little one goes, it's so hard for them to understand considering even adult non-smokers don't understand what we go thru. Best of luck to you & I hope things start looking up for you soon.

[edith2]

I'm sorry to hear about your hardship. My son is in Virginia at Ft. Eustis. You've got an awful lot on your plate right now, but you can still quit. Trust me, after you get through the tough part of quitting, you'll feel so much better about yourself and then you'll have less to be stressed about.

[david-hibling]

My relapses were I think because my addiction to nicotine was more psychological than physical - stress was my trigger - When I was trying to quit I could go all day and not smoke and not physically feel any withdrawel symtoms but the slightest stress - argument with my partner - stressful call or email regarding work and I had to drive to town and buy cigs! Likewise a pleasant emotional association with cigs - such as the sharing of a cig after a meal with fellow smokers was a hard trigger - again i could go all day without any real craving but then go out for a meal and relapse! So I had to address my particular "achilles heel"of weakness that nicotine had identified quicker than I had and find my way to circle the wagons against him! Do not punish yourself for relapsing if you learn from the expereince and grow stronger to secure your quit. Stress is hard but cigs do not make the stress go away believe me - learn that truth and you wpn't fail again - b strong and hugs