I failed

[Cameree]

I have to say today  I relapsed.   I was all alone watching tv and that voice kept telling me just take two puffs and then stop.  Well I did just that and now I feel as tho I've failed.  But I know  I have to pick myself back up. That's voice kept telling me God will forgive you.  And I let  That voice control me. What did I do I feel so bad I was  Doing great.  But I didn't have anything else to do with myself. I need help

[anaussiemom]

How courageous you are  Cameree

Hugs, many blessings. 
You will kick it in the Butt! 

[Cameree]

I just hope that I can go forward and not feel bad about myself

[Mandolinrain]

Your at the right place. Now dust yourself off and begin gain. Have you ridden your environment of all smoking things? Have you been reading blogs? Have you made a list of things to keep you busy when craves come? 

I have confidence in you...lets start there.

You must really want to quit because here we are.  This is ALL GOOD! Its the beginning of the rest of your life and it can start right now if you allow it. Its about 'choices' and you have all the power to make them and YES sometimes it is easier to pay attention to the 'easier way out, or stinking thinking, but thats dancing backwards. Its time to go forward with this quit.

The more you choose forward and N.O.P.E....The transition will eventually take hold and before you know it....WELLA...........Your further than you thought you could go....then you keep going.. When the going gets tuff the tuff get going....and the space between each 'going' gets less and less painful.

So come on, we got you...lets go!  You can do this!

[Mandolinrain]

If your always looking in the rearview mirror you will miss whats ahead. Learn from what was back there, and move forward , look forward

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Whenever you think of smoking say "I don't do that anymore."  Do it every time. Retrains your brain.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Huh? I am so sorry that you feel like you have failed.  Let's start over. #1 Where did you get the cigarettes from?   #2get rid of all smoking paraphernalia, like ashtrays, smokes stashed, lighters, etc. When the little man on your shoulder tells you to smoke you can say. "I don't have any or I don't do that crap anymore or I am a nonsmoker" Then knock him off your shoulder and tell him to SHUT UP! and he is just wasting his time because no matter what you are not goin gto smoke. (period)  After you knock him off your shoulder, stomp on him and walk away. Literally. 

[Cameree]

Thank you for your encouraging words.

On Thu, Jan 17, 2019 at 7:15 PM OldBones-Larry <

[Cameree]

Ok I will try that 

[Cameree]

Now that is a good one I had 5 cigarettes in my dresser drawer but I'm throwing them away

[elvan]

You CAN do this...you CANNOT have cigarettes, lighters, ashtrays or other temptations sitting next to you on the sofa.  You DID have something else to do...you could have come here, we have all been where you are, we remember.  I used the mantra NOPE, Not One Puff Ever because it made sense to me...I said it over and over again.  I had snacks available to distract me, I sang, I danced, I came HERE, I came here a LOT.  I came her first thing in the morning, last thing in the day and oftentimes in between when I felt like I needed a little reminder of how to stay on course.  Taking one puff puts you back to the beginning, we are addicts and we cannot smoke because if we do, we cannot stop at one.  

I promise you that it DOES get easier, it just takes time.  Don't sit and watch TV, come to the site or get up and dance or do Jumping Jacks, shake your head.  Remind yourself that you want to be an EX and that smoking helps nothing except the tobacco companies.

You are not a failure as long as you keep getting up.  Remember what JonesCarpeDiem‌ has told you and remember also what OldBones-Larry‌ says, "One step, and then another, will get you to where you want to be."

Ellen

[Giulia]

[Cameree]

Next time I will come here because I have COPD and I can only do so much I

give out of breath easily. So I know I have to stop

On Thu, Jan 17, 2019 at 7:46 PM Marilyn.H.July.14.14. <

[SimplySheri]

You are so NOT a failure!! It's a learning experience, Cameree‌, so you learned.  Don't listen to your addiction, learn about it.  You can do this   

[jconfusion]

if you slip try try again!  you don't know how strong you are until you've tried.

love ya,

june and rebel

[Cameree]

I am going to do this thank you

On Thu, Jan 17, 2019 at 8:40 PM Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 <

[SimplySheri]

[Sootie]

Just get right back up and start again. Don't waste time and don't over think it. The longer you keep smoking between quits the worse it gets. Get rid of them and just do not smoke......no matter what!!!!! You can cry, scream, sleep, dance, walk, run, sing, eat, hit something (don't hurt anyone!) but you may not smoke.

[Cameree]

I will try again because I believe in myself. And I won't listen to that bad voice that try to persuade me thank you

[Cameree]

I will keep going I know I can do it

[Barb102]

We all know you can and will do this read everything here about what to do instead of smoking. Pleas please no cigs in the home. In the time it will take to go buy some the craving will pass. Keep busy. So many wonderful tips here. My craves went away as I spent my time reading on this site. There is something empowering about taking the pledge each day. Please join us

[Tabbiekat]

I agree with all of the above Quitting again as soon as possible will help. When I first quit in Oct 2017 I slipped and had a few one day a couple weeks in, but stopped and reset my quit for the next day. I did feel disappointed in myself and probably spent the next month going over the day I relapsed. I also did the 'it should be 3 weeks quit, not one week etc.' self talk a lot. After a few weeks I did see it as a mistake, not a failure since I did learn from it and I quit again. So quit again yourself and do what you need to make it the final quit. You can do this.

Tabbie

[Giulia]

" I have COPD and I can only do so much I  give out of breath easily. So I know I have to stop" 

Do you have any idea what it's like  to hear your words for those us us who try so hard to get quitters to see the light?  I can't really speak for anybody else but me.  But when I read words like yours, I just feel so  incredibly sad.  And I get mad too.  Sad and mad.  And I want to kick your butt and say "you were all alone watching TV"  and the "VOICE" urged you on to relapse.  And God's voice (which I simply call that "best of us" ) wasn't stronger?  Well, yes.  I "get" that.  The relapse voice tends to be much more powerful.  In the beginning.  But only if we LET it.  So - when are you gonna stop letting it be the stronger voice?

Didn't have anything else to do with yourself?  REALLY?  Then I suggest you FIND something else to do with yourself.  ANYTHING else, other than putting a cigarette in your mouth will do.  What to do instead of smoking is all over this site.  Have you not seen it?  Here's one example:  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2008/05/03/things-to-do-instead-of-smoking   There are one hundred things you could do instead of putting a cigarette in your mouth.  And if none of those 100 things motivate you, then come up with the 101st!  That's part of the homework we need to do in order to become successful at this THING we call quitting.  Come up with our special technique.  Find that within you.  What a great challenge, no?   The Cameree Way to a Successful Quit.

And I'll probably be accused of "tough love." And that's okay.  It's love contained in the truth.  I want you so much to succeed. I want you to reverse the effects of COPD.  I don't want you to fail at this, I want you to exceed beyond your wildest dreams. So STOP LISTENING  TO THE VOICE THAT DOOMS YOU IN YOUR QUIT.  (I'm not really yelling here, just - if you could hear my tone of voice and knew me, you'd know that it's said with joyous spurring on with a huge smile, not yelling.)

Please try again.  If you haven't read my little quit dialogue - maybe it will provide some recognition of the journey that I went through with that inner demon whispering in my head day long.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2016/09/06/a-quit-dialogue-in-iv-acts?sr=search&searchId=14564992-80f3-43c8-885e-...‌  We have to eventually become friends with that demon, and laugh him off.  I think.  And that is part of the healing process of this journey.

But your quit has to be your entire focus for a while.  It has to become a priority in your life.  Because it's THAT difficult to conquer.  It can't take second place.  it must consume you.  And not your TV program.  Make EX your TV program for the first year of your quit and I doubt anybody would fail thereafter.

[Sootie]

Cameree‌

As you can see, Giulia‌ does not care who accuses her of what kind of love. She has such a deep and abiding commitment to pulling people out of this addiction. I think if I never hear the term "tough love" again I will be sooooo happy. Giulia tried to explain what we feel like when we hear that someone chose to go back to smoking. We are sad and yes---we get mad and so we sound disgusted and maybe our words seem "hard". But it is because we feel someone slipping away......especially someone who already says they are struggling with COPD. We know how dangerous those puffs of smoke were for you!

So---you are right -----YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS. So, do it tomorrow! Do it right now. If you have cigarettes, get rid of them. Start over immediately so that any further damage to your body from smoking will stop right here and now.

We are here. Reach out.

[Giulia]

Thank you my friend.  You "got" me.

[Cameree]

I understand everything you say and even if it sounds like tough love it gives me hope. And yes I do need my but kicked I will admit to that. But being hard on me helps a lot because I know someone else cares about me and that's important to me. Anytime you want to get on me feel free. But after reading what you text makes since and I'm going to try my best and do just what you said. And I love you too

[Cameree]

I know what she's saying is true so if she's hard on me I know she cares

and that makes me feel better about myself

On Thu, Jan 17, 2019 at 10:48 PM Sootie <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>

[Barbscloud]

Stay positive and get right back on that quit.  You can do it if you want it.  We're here rooting you on!

Barb

[Barb102]

Barb it will be ok.  We have all been there. We are here for you always

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

You haven't failed until you quit trying to quit. We're all pulling for you & wish the best Cameree.

[Barbscloud]

?

[Christine13]

Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and stop again.  All the best Cameree.

[Cameree]

Thank u

On Fri, Jan 18, 2019 at 10:59 AM Christine13 <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>

[elvan]

I, too, have COPD and I get short of breath very easily BUT I no longer FEED the addiction, I know I cannot reverse the damage but I work out regularly and eat a healthy diet so I can at least slow its progression.  Cigarettes are killers and they have killed many people already.  All we can do is to go forward no matter how many times we might fall.  Believe in yourself and in this site...you CAN do this.

Ellen

[Giulia]

I used to give imaginary pings to shashort's head when she'd get craving wonky.  I'll ping you too.  You know I'm on your team!  Glad you understand where I'm coming from.  Don't you give up.

[Cameree]

I won't give up that's a promise

[Barb102]

Sorry Barb typed the wrong name