I didn't smoke today.

[cselberg]

I'm 55, I'm overweight, I smoked a pack a day for about 40 years.

I told myself "Of course you are out of breath, you're overweight and you smoke." 

And I kept on telling myself that as my mobility decreased and my breathlessness increased. 

And I kept on telling myself until the day my husband came home with a cough and cold and I caught it. I caught the bug, the virus, the chest infection that landed me in the ER with a blood oxygen level of 81%. After six nights of hospitalization, ($30,276.00) antibiotics, nebulizer treatments and tied to an oxygen tank I was discharged and sent home with the general diagnosis of COPD. 

Okay, COPD. What exactly does that mean? Can I recover? No, there is no cure for COPD, only management. You have to manage it.

I refuse to accept that answer. I refuse to accept that I am going to be forever tied to any oxygen tank. 

I had "tried" to quit smoking before but I didn't have to. I didn't need to. I didn't want to. But I "tried" to quit only because I knew I should. 

January 3, 2018 I was hospitalized. January 9th, on my 55th birthday I was discharged. My birthday gift to myself was to never smoke another cigarette for as long as I live. I got inside my head and asked my brain who is running this show? Do I control you or do you control me? My brain wants to control me. It wants to tell me what I want, it wants to tell me what I need, it wants to tell me what I should do but I woke up on January 9th. I woke up to the fact that this isn't happening to someone else, this is happening to me and if I don't do something about it, I will lose.  

But I refuse to lose.   

So I began to tell my brain, no, you do not control me, I control you. No, you will not dictate to me what I can or cannot do. I will tell you what I need. I will tell you what I want. I need to be proud of me. I need to love me. I want love me. I do love me.

I deserve to be free. I'm worth it. Free from the chains smoking puts on me. I want to walk and not be out of breath. I want to swim. I want to breath. 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Congratulations on taking your life back.  There is a wealth of information on COPD here.  We have our own Guru  if you would read some of Thomas3.20.2010‌ blogs will be very helpful. You have come to the right place for continued support.  It takes a village to quit.  Welcome to our village

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

A thought is not a call to action!  Just because you "think" you need a cigarette doesn't make it so.

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for a free pdf of it on the net (copyright enforcement won't allow me to post the link here).

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[Mandolinrain]

Glad your ready to be in control again! Welcome to this awesome community. Great place to learn-prepare-quit and get support!

[anaussiemom]

Similar situation for me as well.   Welcome to EX.   Great blog.

cselberg

Many Blessings

Kim

[Giulia]

You changed your life.  I'm glad.  You should be very proud of yourself.  Glad you've joined our family.

[elvan]

Welcome to EX, congratulations on your quit and your wonderful attitude.  I, too, have COPD and it CAN be managed, you can slow it way down.  If you have not already done so, I strongly suggest that you join the group on this site https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/copd   I am a retired RN but I learned a great deal from that site and from our dear Thomas3.20.2010‌ who also has COPD and who has done in depth research to help all of us.  

You are doing a great job, you most definitely CAN do this, your addiction will try to undermine you but look at how far you have already come.  WOW.

Ellen