Tonight has been tough, really tough. I have struggled tonight, more than I have struggled thus far with wanting to smoke. A story that a community member shared really resonated with me and I am SO thankful that they shared it. Basically this ex said that he had quit for 10 years. 10 YEARS! One night during a drunken moment of weakness, he slipped. He had a smoke and even though he didn't smoke the next day, he ended up having another cigarette a couple weeks later.. Then next thing he knew, he bought a pack.. then next thing he knew, it had been eight years. That ONE little cigarette, took 8 yrs away from his quit. This story is what is helping me fight the urge. I know it will be better tomorrow. It will be be.tter because after I make it through tonight, I will be that much stronger.. Because of this community and your support and encouragement as well as advice from hard learned lessons, I will have won. I will have beat that urge by using the mantra NOPE. Not One Puff Ever. I don't want to be a slave now or ever. My father struggled with addiction. He became a crackhead when he was 40. He went from being a church going father to a man I didn't know anymore. He sold my pink banana seat bike in order to fund his habit. It tore our family apart. I havent talked to him in years. He still remains somewhat addicted to either alcohol or drugs. ALthough I've never had to fight those battles, I am fighting with addiction to nicotine, and I want to be the one that wins.. So with each clean breath, post, prayer and NOPE mantra, I'm winning. Thanks to all those who have written me and shared their stories. You have no idea how much it helps. With your words, I'm beating addiction. I hope this helps someone else out there too.
