I’M AN ADDICT

[rilokitty]

I buy incense to help with the quitting, I find myself burning more and more, and more, and even trying to (LOL) inhale it, I buy magnet play hand busy toy things, I want more, I buy lipstick, I want more and different kinds (i don’t even wear the stuff?), I get some face products, and more, and more, and my routines becomes more intense. I will become addicted to anything in place of my trusty smoking addiction. Did it not keep me sane? I wish I could still bead but I beaded and smoked so much I associate beading with smoking still, I’m on day 32 it’s too early. 

Today I wanted to get out of the house and go on a short drive but was jonesing really bad so I brought a lit incense. Bad idea. It was so much like a cigarette, tapping it out the window, holding it between my fingers, what an idiot. I’m slipping backwards. My old habits are still here. They have not gone away. I need this quit to stick. I couldn’t control it. I couldn’t stop. Now I’m 32 days away from it and it wants me back. I’m 33 years old and I’m going to make it to day 33 by N.O.P.E. today. 

Sometimes I say “You can do this.” Other times I say “You just, can’t, do this, I’m sorry.” Speaking of, I’m sorry I’m so much a bummer here everyone, all you beautiful beautiful intelligent, wise kind-hearted people. I have nothing to offer but my struggles. 

[maryfreecig]

For us addicts, the best medicine is one step at a time, one day at a time. Thanks for sharing your struggle. You are definitely not alone.

[sweetplt]

WE so understand hon rilokitty ... and you come here when you struggle, that is important...you always follow through...early in the journey, I couldn’t even light a candle...just sayin...

I agree with maryfreecig us addicts have to take it “one step at a time”...

~ (((((cyber hugs out to you))))) Colleen 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

32 days quit smoking is amazing.  Congratulations.  You have done well.  Pat yourself on the back.  There are peaks and valleys.  Enjoy the peaks and endure the lows because if you do not take a puff you will become stronger.  Just hold on NOPE no matter the lows they come with the journey.  The idea is to continue on no matter how you feel, no matter what your addictive brain tells you.  No matter what your friends say.  One day you will have that ah ah moment and be glad that you never gave up. NMW keep saying that No matter what NOPE.  That will keep you free.  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters/blog/2019/01/27/one-of-the-greatest-tools-...   Good Job. The best is yet to come. Just hold on. Hang tough, never give in never give up. Stay close. 

[anelson1843]

You made is 32 days and that is a BIG accomplishment.  I've made it 6.  32 sounds like an eternity from 6.  I hope I can make it to 32 days, sounds just so far away from where I am right now.  I appreciate your honesty.  I'm proud of you and impressed that you made it 32 days.  Don't quit. 

[Linda01Potts]

When I stopped the first time I was constantly fighting it. The one thing I found that helped was Cinnamon flavored Certs. They were hot in sensation like a drag off a cigarette and lasted longer than a craving did. Good luck, I hope this helps. It is just taking it one craving at a time, and not giving it the power. I also have an addictive personality, I truly understand the frustration. I am on day 2 so you are way out in front of me, you can master this, you are doing great.

[indingrl]

Yes YOU WILL make 33 - I believe in You and - CONGRATS 32 DOF - days of freedom NEW idea -  bite into a lemon peel and all when a crave hits -  it will bring you into the MOMENT of your day - wooooooWeeeee it is a REAL quit tool to keep - it works and  - then come here and blog away - I NEED YOUR HELP too and  thank you so much for SHARING your heart and courageous attitude to tell YOUR TRUTH - together - WE addicts know how to give EACH other HOPE - the tools YOU CHOOSE to put into YOUR QUIT tool box is the slogans - not one puff ever aka n.o.p.e. - also another slogan to say out loud or in your heart -  smoking is not an option - aka - s.i.n.a.o. and say over and over -  I dont smoke any more - it was SUGGESTED that I get a NEW mindset - learning NEW ideas and patterns and habits to keep YOU a NON SMOKER one breath at a time - hobbies OR drawing OR what you discover NEW tap dancing OR stretching OR biting into that lemon peel and all - it works - when a crave hits and it will - jog in place OR 3 deep breaths OR sing really loud YOUR favorite song OR dance when a crave hits just shake your booty or your maracas aka boobies - shake shake shake - you will LAUGH and get those endorphins going - BAM NEW MINDSET - I am just passing on what was given to ME in MY early days and I still use the lemons to keep ME in MY moments - I exercise everyday and please know I appreciate YOU and YOUR helped ME remember to be grateful I am a n.o.p.e family member with YOU  - I am so glad your here - hang tough grl fren - YOUR AWESOME  

[Trisha76]

I started slowly with my triggers by talking back to them when they came. The psychological part definitely is the worst and I found that I just needed to talk back to it and say the words that I wanted freedom etc.  I Also did the breathing many times a day whenever I got an urge to smoke. I would count to five inhaling and when I exhale I would say freedom to the count of five. I still do that to this day whenever I feel a Trigger.  I am at 94 days and it does get better as you stay only in your day.  Very important to do one step at a time and move forward.  
 You are doing great at 32 days!  You have got this - just one day at a time.  Every night congratulate yourself and tell yourself that you are a winner once again.

[rilokitty]

okay, talking back to them saying “i want freedom” is something i really need to do. one step at a time to move forward. thank you Trisha! -Jamie

[indingrl]

Congrats 94 dof

[rilokitty]

LOL i need to keep hearing this lemon idea, i’ve got an aversion to that i gotta say but you know so much so i better follow what works, thank you for all of your words as i’m struggling  ❤️

[Mandolinrain]

You say you have nothing to offer but your struggles?, It's your struggles....all our struggles, that make this site work. We share our bad times and good times and from that we can pick and choose ideas that can help each of our good times/bad times.

I really love your writing style. I think your amazing

[rilokitty]

thank you Linda, that hot feeling in the throat replaced by cinnamon is genius. Hang in there, it does get better

[Barbscloud]

You're no different than most of us quitters.  It was as struggle for most of us and we all must continue to be vigilant.  At 32 days  you're doing great, but don't forget you're early in your quit.  Don't lose sight of how long you smoked in comparison.  It will turn around--be patient with yourself.  

You're not a bummer.  If you go back and read some early posts from many of us, you'll hear the same story.  We're here to listen and support,  so don't feel bad about sharing how you feel.

Barb

[AnnetteMM]

I adore incense. I sometimes (still!) inhale a bit of it. It's because of LOVE fabulous fragrances.

Check out other wonderful smells to get that dopamine "hit" in your brain. It feels good!

[DonnaMarie]

You do have something to offer. Anything you write is worth the read. I'm an addict too. I choose every day, every hour, ever whatever interval it is not to smoke. You're not a bummer at all.

I did a lot of crazy things when I first quit; they were my weird coping mechanisms to help me replace my time, energy, urges and all that good stuff. 

Donna

Day 697

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

Adapted from Emilee Kerrigans's work

Smoking controls my life

So don‘t try to convince me that

I can live without it

Because at the end of the day

I can’t do this

And I’m not going to lie to myself by saying

I will prosper and succeed

So I will remind myself

That I am a selfish terrible person

And nothing you tell me will make me believe

I deserve a good life

Because no matter what

I will always be addicted

And I wonder if

Things will get better

Because when I look in the mirror, I will always think

Can I recover?

Now read bottom to top

[indingrl]

[virgomama]

So much great advice here. All I would add is my experience with the daily pledge. There was something about getting up every morning very first thing sitting down and pledging to hold someone else's hand through the day. It was very effective for me because I could remember when I have those urges that I pledged with someone else not to smoke. Please hang in there this journey is so worth the trials. Cindy

[Giulia]

"I have nothing to offer but my struggles."  If people here didn't have struggles, we'd not have much to offer,  ourselves.  That's part of the reason we're here and stick around.  At 32 days you're still really fresh into the journey.  I can remember one day when I was burning leaves I just stuck my face over the smoke I was so desperate for a cigarette.  We do what we have to and if incense is one of your methods for getting through a craving - so be it.  I also pretend-smoked straws for a couple of months.  Although it kept the hand-to-mouth behavior alive, I wasn't smoking.  I did have to wean myself off of THAT behavior, however, but it was a piece of cake in comparison.  And as far as the back and forth dialogue "you can, you can't,"  I wrote a little play about it.  Perhaps you'll recognize yourself:  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2016/09/06/a-quit-dialogue-in-iv-acts?sr=search&searchId=eea68707-a44c-467b-9028-...  Struggling is okay.  Smoking isn't.  You should be real proud of yourself.  And keep believing us when we say "it will get better!"   There would be no long-term quitters if that were not the case.  Because none of us could survive.  We're not all Superbeings.  But those of us who have mastered the beast are stronger because of it.  And we are the Champions of our quits.  

[rilokitty]

Hey so I’m not the only one lol! Thanks Annette -Jamie

[rilokitty]

They are weird coping mechanisms and I should be grateful I get to make that choice today to not smoke, that I have other options and people to support me in making the right choice, like you, thank you. -Jamie

[rilokitty]

Haha Mike you had me like ? this is a little harsh here man...lol thank you -Jamie 

[rilokitty]

Thank you Cindy, “the journey is so worth the trials.” the little trials, as annoying and mind-confusing as they may be, are worth the journey, because this journey is everything I want. thank you. -Jamie

[rilokitty]

Thank you for all of your words and that play! That’s wonderful! Thank you -Jamie

[LeftysLady]

rilokitty‌ I am not far ahead of you in days quit.  I threw my first attempt out the window at 22 days.   This attempt has made me truly look at everything as it has come to me.  The bad attitude and anger in the beginning of the quit, because  the Nicodemon didn't want to let go of me.  I realized that I had started changing at 10 years old when I took my first drag, 45 years later it is nice to find the polite person I once was, the person I was created to be.

In the last 38 days I have come to this sight much more open and honest.  I know that I need the wisdom of both the elders and the newbies.  I know that I am not alone at anytime in these struggles.  I know I was lead here by the grace of Abba Father.  When times get tough I turn to him first and then to this group.  I have also learn that doing the math helps me stop spending to make me feel better.

we are saving a little money since we both stopped smoking.  We sat down and did a budget(a planning tool) that allowed me to see what may be possible in the future if I don't spend the savings on stuff I don't need.

The struggles we all share as addicts teaches us the simplest truth of all.  If we want to keep our Freedom we must give it away by sharing the good and the bad.

Congratulations on 33 Days 9 and 59 minutes of Freedom

Sometimes you just have to break it down to hang onto it.

Pam

37DOF

[DanielG2]

Congratulations on making it this far.  Day 32 is so impressive.   You can do it!

I wish I would have thought of incense when I quit.   Good luck!

[elvan]

You have gotten GREAT advice, l kept lemons on hand but the idea of biting into the rind & having it stuck in my teeth kept me from actually using them. I DID eat Sour Patch Kids because they were so sour that they completely changed my mind. You are in No Man’s Land, click on the little magnifying glass on top right side of the page. Type in No Man’s Land & look for a blog by JonesCarpeDiem‌. It will give you some good support. You really are NOT alone.

You are doing great, this journey is one day at a time, it gets EASIER!

Ellen

[JonesCarpeDiem]

/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months