HI TO EVERYONE WHOI IS ON THIS SITE. I HAVE BEEN HAVING A VERY HARD TIME STAYING SMOKE FREE. I BUY A PACK, HAVE A FEW, GET DISGUSTED THAT I BOUGHT THEM AND THEN POUR WATER IN THE PACK SO I RUIN THEM AND CAN'T SMOKE. I AM GOOD FOR THE REST OF THE DAY AND THROUGH THE NIGHT, THEN I GET THE URGE SO BAD THAT I GO AND BUY ANOTHER PACK AND DO THE SAME THING. I THOUGHT GOING TO A HYPNOTHERAPIST WOULD WORK. I HAVE QUIT COLD TURKEY BEFORE AND ACTUALLY WAS SMOKE FREE FOR ALMOST FIVE MONTHS, THEN I STARTED UP AGAIN. I KNOW I CAN QUIT AGAIN, BUT FOR SOME REASON I AM AFRAID TO QUIT AND AFRAID TO SMOKE ALSO. I HAVE AN APPT. WITH THE HYPNOTHERAPIST TODAY AND I KNOW THAT AFTER I SEE HER, I WILL FEEL BETTER, BUT IT DOESN'T LAST. I WENT LAST TUESDAY AND WAS FINE UNTIL SATURDAY.. I GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT WITH MY BOYFRIEND, MY CAR GOT REPOSSESSED, AND I GOT A LETTER FROM THE IRS SAYING THAT I OWE THEM $524.OO ON MY 2008 TAX RETURN. AFTER ALL THAT I JUST BLEW IT AND BOUGHT A PACK. I KNOW THAT BAD THINGS WILL STILL HAPPEN WHETHER I SMOKE OR NOT. THAT'S THE CRAZY PART. MY HEAD KNOWS IT, BUT MY HEART DOESN'T KNOW IT. I AM FULL OF GUILT ABOUT SO MANY THINGS IN MY LIFE. I CAN'T GO INTO ALL OF IT, BUT I NEED SOME SERIOUS HELP AND SOME WAY TO GET RID OF THE GUILT. MJJ GAVE ME A SITE TO GO TO THAT SHE SAYS WILL HELP. THANK YOU MAGGIE FOR BEING THERE AND LISTENING TO ALL MY BAGGAGE. I AM GRATEFUL FOR THIS SITE, BUT I FEEL SO ASHAMED AND I CAN'T GET RID OF IT. LIZ
