How I ruined a 6 year quit

[michael192]

It was Halloween 2007 when I quit smoking after a pack a day for 20 years... I can remember having some difficult moments... but I went 6 years without a puff... I got my body back in shape and was logging in 3,500 miles a year with road cycling... I almost forgot I used to be a smoker... then in fall of 2013 I smoked while on a trip abroad. After a full day of fun and recreation in a country where it seems like everyone smokes I thought I could have just one... I forgot that I am addicted to nicotine even after 6 years.... then I bought a pack... had a few more... next thing I know I am smoking everyday. It was my reason for waking up... I quit cycling... I avoided social gatherings where I couldnt smoke... I stood outside in rain, sleet and snow... Planning smoke breaks occupied my thoughts more than I care to admit. I wanted to quit again.

So Halloween 2014 I am quiting again!!! Its been 9 days without smoking....

It might be just a little easier this time becuase I have done it before. However, its not fun. I do not want to go through this again so I hope I will never forget that I can NOT play with fire... I will lose everytime. I thought I would share my story for those who think that it has been long enough that one puff won't hurt... 

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

Attaboy Michael! Too may people think addiction is curable. Once an addict always an addict. We're either practicing or not practicing. I even saw a commercial where a guy says "I used to be an addict but now I'm not." Anyway welcome to EX & huge congrats on 9 smoke free days. Lots of stuff here to read & member's pages to gander at so jump in with both feet & help us all out.

Keep on keepin on,

M n @

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Thank You so much for sharing this startling and yet validating story!

You see, we have a saying here - Never Ever Forget or N.E.F.!

We not only give folks the tools to get started but we continue to support them throughout their first 2 most vulnerable years .....and beyond!

I have had to beg for HELP! just last year and although embarrassed, I would do it again rather than forfeit my FREEDOM!

I'm so glad that you are here and making your way back to the Freedom! LEAN on US! That's what we're here for! 

Wishing you the Best in launching your Forever Quit!

[Ms.J_11-10-2013]

OH NO that breaks my heart that you lost such a wonderful quit, but thank you for bringing it to light that there is no such thing as Just one puff!  I am in your corner and rooting for you!

xo

Jackie

365 DOF

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I know if I started smoking again I'd be smoking again. It's a no brainer.

But I don't live in the shadow of addiction because I will never believe otherwise.

I'm free unless I choose to smoke again and I KNOW IT

[YoungAtHeart]

The Law of Addiction states:  "Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."

You were doomed from the get-go.  We have a buzzword here that about covers it, "NOPE" - which abbreviates Not One Puff Ever.

I am glad you are here!  Read, blog and read some more.  The better you understand the addiction, the more power over it you will have.  Here is a link to a book that a lot of folks, me included, found very helpful:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around your head alone.  Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[annb]

Thank you for sharing your story. Smobering reminder addiction does not go away. :-(. Good for you getting back to your quit now. You know how to do it and the EX folks are all here to help!!

[smorgy8513]

Glad to see you here!     One of the biggest tools for me in staying quit is to come here each day and read.....I also pledge each day to stay quit.     1.  My God    2.  My EX family.     This is how I do it.      Thanks for the (scary but encouraging) story of returning to stay quit.

Sharon 462 DOF

[froguelady]

A great reminder that nicotine addiction is forever, there is no "getting over it".

I am very glad you are here and smoke free again.  I used this word durning the first few months of my quit,   N.O.P.E. as in NOT ONE PUFF EVER.

[Brenda_M]

One of our friends here quit for over 20 years and picked up ONE, and that was it. We can always use a reminder of this addiction's hold on us...I've lost so many quits because I thought that I was better and smarter than the addiction, and it put me in my place every single time.

Welcome!!!

[smorgy8513]

Here's the link for the Daily Pledge group.....come and join us!

http://community.becomeanex.org/pg/forum/topic/7692402/november-2014increased-thankfulness/

[Giulia]

Yup.  I've been quit for over 8 1/2  years and I know beyond a doubt that one puff will take back to Day One.  And I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO BACK THERE!  It's stories like yours that keep me in safe waters.  There's no such thing as "just one." 

Glad you've decided that a year of that foolishness was enough.  Have heart and keep on!  And get back on that bike!

[swilson2]

we are never really safe

[ShawnP]

and it proves that a 6 yrs quit isn't safe. Thats why we must always have our guard up. Welcome back!!!!

[bob170]

Sorry to hear about ruining your quit, but glad to see you are starting over. Stories like yours are good for folks like me, I'm on day 28 and shows me to never let my guard down, no matter how much i feel I'm in control. Again sorry, but thanks for the wake-up call.

[Junior7]

Thanks for sharing your story!  So glad you are back to your quit!

[Deena-A-Yenni]

Welcome and I'm glad you quit again!

[Storm.3.1.14]

It broke my heart when I read that you went from 3,500 miles of annual cycling to zero miles...because of cigarettes. 

But, I am thankful you shared your story of loss because that is where my attentions frequently turn: the study and understanding of how years and years of smobriety get ruined. I hear these stories of woe and sadness so often that I wonder if I am doomed to fail, too, and I want to steer myself clear.

So, you helped me today. You helped me understand that we will always, for the rest of our lives, remember HOW to smoke, and that we DID. The mission now is to always remember WHY we do not do that anymore.

Welcome to the community, Michael! 

[Jennifer-Quit]

Thanks so much for the reminder of just how powerful this addiction is - and just how easy it is to fall into the trap - I once threw away a 2 year plus quit - just like you, but this time I am more educated about this addiction and hopefully will not do that again.  Best wishes to you!

[lois2]

welcome and congrats on 9 days.

[nanawendy]

Michael, Thanks for sharing your story and welcome to the community. We are family here and as long as you stick to your committment to be smoke free we will help you all we can

As I am approaching my second smoke free year, your story makes me realize how vunderable I am.  Thanks for reminding me that I am always " one away, from a pack a day"  You can do this !!

keep calm and carry on

Wendy

12/31/12

[cheyenne7]

Thank you for sharing your story....I'm sure it will make people think twice. You are wise to get back on the wagon and soon you'll be reclaiming your bike, and your life back....you come to this quit with good experience, you will do well : )

[Sootie]

I too had a very long quit which I blew. I attribute my downfall to the fact that I may not have smoked for 12 years BUT.....I continually "romanced" my smoking years. I felt like a martyr and acted like one. I would look at cigarettes as if I was seeing an old love I could no longer have. So----regardless of the years....it was predictable that sooner or later....I would have "just one" of my old friends. And we ALL know where just one gets us.

This quit....I no longer feel like I gave up anything. I feel so fantastic and grateful NOT to be smoking. I can barely believe that I used to do that. I know this quit will be successful because I won't choose to smoke.......I don't miss it at all and I am so happy to have broken that addiction.

We must always guard our quits....but the best way to do that is to VALUE your quit. It is precious. Its a gift. Its a blessing. who would EVER want to give it up?

So glad you are here Michael. Keep in touch.

Stay Strong.

[green1611]

Very good note. While the quitters have with in their own, some satisfaction of being away from smoke (for number of days, months or years), the alarm needs to be heard, and at any given time, one can get back on smoking road.

Now this depends upon the "tendency" one would have, and therefore the measures to control slip depends purely on one's own actual state of of mind.

What ever it is, the residual hunger in the brain will come out sometime to eat you out in terms of nicotine requirement.

So, it is always good to be on your own toes, and NOT take it for granted that now you would live smoke free life for ever.

This is the lesson and thank you very much for great sharing.

All the best for relatively new journey, though, it would be difficult.