For My Quit Buddies and my special friends who have "fallen"
I was at work yesterday. Im a Manicurist, my face is under a bright light showin every tiny flaw there is, lol no hiding from that.
Yesterday, every single client of mine, said, your skin looks amazing. What did you do? Seriously, you look radiant, happy.
When I tell them I quit, they are like, OMG NO WAY?!?! Everyone knows ME, and how bad my addiction was.
They are shocked, amazed and very happy for me.
I don't feel my heart pounding out of my chest like I used to. It did that cause it had to work so hard to pump that blood thru my veins, when oxygen doesn't get to your organs, they work over time to do their job.
My lungs too. I dont get winded just goin out to get the mail. Or taking the trash out, or just taking a bath. My addiction got so bad, I just could NOT BREATHE AT ALL! I gained weight the last year due to a necessary change in my diet, my bad, no big deal, But I kept blaming my weight gain on my lack of energy, not bein able to breathe, etc etc
LIES LIES LIES and I KNEW IT!
It's so easy to run for the truth isn't it? Until the good lord above shines down on you one day and says, listen here, Im gonna get you're attention once and for ALL! What's it gonna take JoAnn, okay here, Emphysema...
Yep, that did it!
BUT it's not been over night. I have been "trying" to quit for a year or more. I've been reading and watching videos and reading this site blogs, links, etc.
If you wanna run a marathon, you have to train for it.
I DID!
I got lucky, my Emphysema is in early stages, dont pity me, its my own fault.
I actually feel GREAT! The 1st 9 days we're trying times for me. I had flu like symptoms, no energy, couldnt sleep well. Sad, lonely, depressed. I drank water, hardly ate, I mourned the loss of my best friend.
I read everyday, this site, I blogged, I cried, I prayed. I still haven't cleaned my house BUT I finally cooked and Im working on my bathroom, been doin some remodel.
Im near my 2 week mark. Its gone by FAST. The only advice I can give someone is its all about attitude and being positive.
Deep down in your heart, you KNOW you wanna quit smoking. You're envious of non smokers, you are broke and tryin hard to find enough change to buy some smokes. You hate the way you smell. Its not acceptable. For alot of us, we started smoking when it was "cool" Its not cool any more.
Im 46, I smoked for more than 30 years. I have suffered great losses in my life. I have stayed close to my "best friend" the cigarette, 2-3 packs a day. 1 smoke after another, I had 1 , i smoked 3, I had an ashtray in every room of the house, heck, I even smoked while taking a bath. Then another when I got done. It was a reward, a friend,a vise, something to do when I was bored,lonely,happy. Even in the mornin when Im hacking up fur balls, I was SMOKING. I was so pathetic.. such a looser. seriously! I started watching myself in the mirror, oh boo hoo I was crying, felt so sorry for myself.
I was a FULL BLOWN ADDICT out of control.
Now, if I can quit, so can you. I have had "thoughts" I dont call them cravings because I really truely do not crave a cigarette, its just cause Im bored, or cause it was a "habit" somethin I did. Ya know, I smoked so damm much I didnt even have to keep track of my "trigger times" LOL I SMOKED ALL THE TIME, EVERY MINUTE OF MY LIFE.
THATS what got me to quit and stay quit. Admitting you're an addict and loving yourself and believing in yourself enough to stay quit.
I feel great right now. Not only physically but in my heart, in my mind, I feel like I have conquered My BIGGEST demon!
Its doable... I did it and so can you!
In 12 days, I have NOT smoked 310 cigarettes, I have saved 77.00.... in 2 more weeks. Im gonna go spend 150.00 on something... I dont know what yet, but something for ME!
This post is for my friends who are struggling, for anyone new to the site, and mostly for ME.
Im proud of my accomplishment, Never in a million years, did I think quitting my smoking addiction was even possible.
JoAnn
