Honesty - A Need to Vent

[YoungAtHeart]

I spend a lot of time here, trying to help people quit smoking. A necessary part of the journey is honesty with yourself, others who are on this quit journey with you, and those of us trying to help you. There is a big difference in the advice we give to a person who has made a decision to smoke and is truly on their 4^th day and a person who has been quit, for instance, over a month. If you smoke and then lie about it, you are not being honest with yourself, and cannot learn from your experience

“To thine own self be true” comes to mind. Let's keep it real here. No one will put you down if you make a decision to smoke and lose your quit. We will continue to support you as long as you make an honest effort.

Nancy

Quit 7/4/12 (really!)

[freeneasy]

I agree 100% Nancy

[aztec]

The four agreements come to mind by ruiz, great book

To thine own self be true

It takes alot of heart , carryon and everybodys got a job.

Thanks for the plea of honesty among the folks.

& Thanks for all the heart you put into encouraging ex'ers

[joyeuxencore]

And I have seen you do it Nancy...be there for folks who keep coming back and giving it another shot...honesty with oneself is probably the hardest of all honesty...many have not adopted honesty as a way of life...they pick and choose what to be truthful about. for different reasons as well...I believe some folks aren't capable of it...being honest is the greatest freedom there is! I had a friend who was a big truckdriver and he said this prayer every morning:

"Dear God, please don't let me bullsh@@ myself today"

(I have adopted my own nicer way of putting it prayer!!!) xo

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

This is one thing that sticks in my craw Nancy. You can lie to me all ya want but the one you shouldn't lie to is lyin to ya. I know they have good intentions & plan to not slip again & then all will be well with the world. A quit is a very fragile thing & if we haven't comitted ourselves fully it could very well mean a slip or relapse. Most still can't accept the fact that they'll never be able to smoke again or that this really is life or death.

Quit 10/1/2004 (really...& no slips)

KOKO,

M n @

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Some people here just won't accept that your quit starts from the last time you put one in your mouth and lit it. What is so hard to understand about that?

i have 3 questions based on the above

1. are we all keeping our time quit the same way?

2. do i get to count the 18 years before i smoked as part of my quit?

3. do we need a special club for those claiming quit days they had before they smoked?

[Michwoman]

But it "was only one and then I went back to quitting!!!"  Well we all know what that "just one" can do. I agree with you Dale.

[kim59]

Your post has generated some useful discussion here.  It's helped me on Day 17.

[SmokedOut041412]

Can I have my 6 1/2 years back since I haven't had a puff in over a year now??? Please Please 😉

[SmokedOut041412]

Honestly:

I have been quit for 1 Year, 3 Days, 16 hours, 25 minutes and 13 seconds (368 days). I have saved $1,509.75 by not smoking 5,161 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Weeks, 3 Days, 22 hours and 5 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 4/14/2012 12:00 AM

♥

[Newfound_Joy]

I am 100% on board with this discussion.  One puff or one cig - you must start your countdown clock over.  Otherwise it is meaningless to all on this site.

The very worst person you can lie to is yourself.  It will only cause your own self-destruction.

Joy.........460 days NOT ONE PUFF!!

[lois2]

  honest with my self,  100%

[jojo_2-24-11]

Honesty is always the best policy!

[Strudel]

Amen! I really think reading some of the tough talk when I first came here helped me realize what NOPE was all about....and how vital it was to be determined to not even think about "one puff".

[jim_ohio]

nicotine is a very powerful drug......it will make a human do many a thing........in the death camps in germany, the prisoners would trade their food for cigarettes....the only problem,  their families were starving, but they rather smoke than feed their families..........................nicotine is the most toxic chemical. known to man/woman.......................every human being that has come to this community has come for help................maybe a little help, or maybe alot............that is why there is a ex-community...............

[johio]

I confess...In my life I have lied to myself many times......I will start the diet tomorrow....I will quit after this pack.....I will just smoke one.....I'll never do that again....and on and on

the problem was I actually believe these lies.......the most important ingredients in my quit was when I stopped believing the lies, and quit making excuses, and took responsibility for the truth of my life.

Thje addiction still lies to me....often

[imadeer]

How about if I just deduct the days that I smoke from my total?

Does that work for everybody?

I mean, so what if it wasn't all in a row.

What do I care about the way the rest of you keep your quit?

Ima ME! Ima SPECIAL!

(You do it your way and I'll lie about my days quit)

[nanawendy]

I am a newbie here, with 106 days smoke free, but I am Damn proud  of those 106 days. From the first days on this site I learned NOPE. I would rather someone with 30 days smoke free try to give me advice that someone that claims they have several years , yet continue to lie to themselves. 

[YoungAtHeart]

Ima Deer,

Don't you DARE!

XOXOXO

Nancy

Quit 7/4/12 (Truly!)

[Jenny78]

I know for myself, if I smoked just one, then it would be all she wrote.  I would be back to a pack a day.  So I know I could not lie about it.  I really don't know how anyone could smoke just one?  Proud to be at 145 days today.

[Jordan-11-1-12]

Addiction is built and maintained by lies

[Chuck-2-20-2011]

Wow Nancy!

 I came by to leave you a message and saw this post. It's quite true that there is no room for dishonesty here. After all, what's the point? Who wins? No one! People like you who try so hard to help anyone who asks for it doesn't deserve to be lied to. In fact, how do we help someone get back on the wagon if we don't know they need to get there?

 I can honestly say that I have never touched (or smoked) a single cigarette or puff since the day I quit on Feb. 20, 2011. Do I miss it? Amazingly, not at all. Am I glad I quit? I think we both know the answer to that.

 I will say that had I relapsed, I would have come clean to the community here right away. Sure, we like to see people win but at the same time I think we deserve the opportunity to help with those who relapse. In a way, that's a part of a community such as this.

 That's why the posts that are from people who's addiction is screaming at them are responded to so quickly and with so much force. Because we care about each other. We're a kind of family here. A family that helps each other go through the hardest days of their lives and that is precious and should never be paid back with deceit.

 So I'm with you 100%!!

[mailyn]

I don't know how I missed this post but now that I have seen it I would like to comment as well. When I tried to quit in the past I failed in large part because I was lying to myself. I was alone then and had no one to help me along my way and so I fell for my own lies easily. Since coming to this site I have been completely honest with the community and more importantly with myself. This has made all the difference for me. It's been 14 days since I quit and though I get cravings from time to time they feel like nothing to me and are easily dismissed. In times when I just don't know what to do coming here and reading the things you all say helps me more than I can ever truly express and I can't imagine lying to you all.

[wishingstar]

I agree,because , I have quit twice.  So to be honest with my self. That one cig, that rolled back into full smoker does not count to my quit time. I have to start the day over and count that. I failed: to me the relaspe is part of the addiction. I was so mad at myself and still am.  It was not even a  cig. it was a flavoered cigar, thats all it took. leson leraned. NO tabbaco products ever. So I pray for any one and myself, that this jurney, we rise above this addtictive slow killer. we can do it. 

Mothers day is my day to qiut, and this for good, no matter what life give me. their all ways good and bad days.