Help please!

[kathiberg]

I feel like such a loser.  I have a master's degree, am a health professional, had a recent heart attack and still am smoking.  I have tried meds, gum, patches, cold turkey and still fail.   I am now unemployed, been thru bankrupcy, and all of this in the past 3 months.   I have to stop smoking but still cheat.  Any words of wisdom for me?

[neecee586]

Yes, I've been a smoker for over 30 years, and I've quit twice.  The first time when I was pregnant, and the second time just a couple of years ago with I was preparing for a major surgery.  I realize that although I picked up the habit again both times, that I can still call on the willpower necessary to do it again.  It's mind over matter - I've been using cigarettes as a crutch, I know this.  I also know that it's not hopless and you ARE NOT A LOSER!  You're a winner because you've acknowledged your weaknesses and the fact that you're only human and dealing with the trials and tribulation that all of us humans must deal with.  It's a very powerful feeling when you've conquered this addition and you will! 

[neecee586]

Yes, I've been a smoker for over 30 years, and I've quit twice.  The first time when I was pregnant, and the second time just a couple of years ago with I was preparing for a major surgery.  I realize that although I picked up the habit again both times, that I can still call on the willpower necessary to do it again.  It's mind over matter - I've been using cigarettes as a crutch, I know this.  I also know that it's not hopless and you ARE NOT A LOSER!  You're a winner because you've acknowledged your weaknesses and the fact that you're only human and dealing with the trials and tribulation that all of us humans must deal with.  It's a very powerful feeling when you've conquered this addition and you will! 

[Debi12]

Hi Kathiberg, sounds like you have been through alot the past 3 months.  I really can't give you much advice in the way of success because I am new at this (day 2) but I know for me I take it one day at a time, sometimes 5 minutes at a time, my Mother died in 2002 from emphysema - she had been a pack a day smoker for maybe 30 years. she had successfully quit several times. Then In her early 60's she finally quit for good - it was hard for her but she made it.  She kept telling me she just had to take it one day, hour or minute at a time she told me eventually the cravings became less and less and then she suddenly found they came in  long intervals in between.  She said the rewards were so worth it.  Her regret of course was why she hadn't done it many years before the damage was done.   To think I watched Mom go through this illness... and somehow was able to go home and light a cigarette. One day you will decide it is your time to quit for good .....you will do it ...and you never be sorry you did it!!....  Hang in there

[scott26]

First things first.  You are not a loser.  I smoked for 30 years plus and quit many times.  I used to tell people that I was very good at quiting; I must be; I had done it so often!  Finally I told myself that smoking had to go.  Forget about all else in my life....I was not going to quit smoking, I was going to become a NON-smoker.  There are three types of people in this world as it relates to smoking.  The non-smoker; the smoker; and the reformed smoker.  Ever have a conversation with a reformed smoker regarding smoking?  They (I) will chew your ear off with the evils of smoking.  If you want my opinion (sorry, no pause for you to answer so you are stuck with my opinion regardless), you MUST remind yourself of all the negatives.  I tell myself that if I find only one positive aspect of smoking I'll start again.  Guess what, there are NO positives.  Untill you are disgusted by smoking you will not stop.  We have all been done the road with stress and kicking ourselves because we started smoking again (and again).  Your world will change by not smoking and believe it or not, in the long term, it will become much brighter!

[jeanspeace]

Ok - another opinion . . . I've smoked on and off for 40 years (mostly on). Last Friday (that's Friday the 13th for good luck) I decided I had to do something myself to change my life around . . . . luck has not been on my side for several years . . . . I have became disillusioned with looking for something on the outside to satisfy my cravings/urges/addiction . . . and realize the only person or thing that's going to help me, is me. I went to a hypnotist a few months ago (one of the few things I hadn't tried before) and he asked me what I wanted to get out of not smoking . . . I told him "the ripple effect" . . . that is, all the other things that would happen once I stopped smoking . . .. the good I was doing for myself would ripple out to other aspects of my life . . . . . I don't feel it yet (being only day 5) but I believe that's going to happen . . . it has to . . it's the law of attraction, the physcis of life . . . . . .  just start again kathiberg . . . . . . . no one is judging you but you . . . so stop that  . . . . .  and don't ever stop trying. 

[Susan24]

Hi Kathy - my heart goes out to you.  If wisdom, education and intelligence were a remedy for smoking, you would have quit long ago.  Unfortunately, addiction has nothing to do with those factors and that is the problem.  There is hope - I (and many others) have quit after 36 years of smoking.  I attribute my success (so far only 8 weeks) to Chantix and to this site.  Chantix made the process easier for me and this site has been a godsend.  One of the great things about this site is that we all know what you are going through and we do not judge you.  My brother in law smoked when in treatment for lung cancer and I absolutely understood that. (He said that he was under too much stress to quit at that time).  If you think of the stupidest thing you ever did when it came to smoking, someone here has done something far dumber (perhaps me?)

First, forgive yourself for past and current smoking and then start looking at quitting smoking as a process.  I did not use the Ex Plan on this site, but that's the process they suggest.  2nd, think about your options and explore them (Ex plan, health plans at work, Chantix, patches, gum, cold turkey, etc.)  If you have any questions about the pros and cons of a particular option, ask the users here.  Education is really the key here - the more you understand about the addiction and the process of quitting, the better choices you can make.

Out of all of the bad things that have happened over the past, this can be a huge boost to your ego and will center you in a way that nothing else can,  We are here to help - all you have to do is ask.

[jeannie2]

the only way is to stop cheating. if you want to smoke you will, and i did until i quit for good. NO fair cheating, if you use the gum or whatever it takes to not smoke, try it.  you have to want it no matter what. life still goes on and alot easier to breathe. i need my lungs and heart to go on, not smoke poison. you might have another heart attack, is it worth it.........my dad never did quit, some people dont want to.....he smoked during his lung cancer death till the day he died........... you can always make the choice

[pat3]

Hi Kathy,

You are not a loser. Maybe just concentrate on not smoking for one day. Give yourself a reward ( new book, new shirt, take a long bath, call an old friend, new candle). It doesn't matter what or if it costs anything. Just make it something you enoy but don't do everyday. When you make it through the first day, then do it again the second day. When you have the urge to smoke yell NO silently or out load and then DO SOMETHING. Make lists of things to do besides smoke. Breathe deeply, hop on one leg, count by 17's, walk, clap, scream, dance, smile, make up a poem,. Think of as many things as you can. Do them all, if you still want a cigarette, do them again.

I know it is hard. I quit smoking Aug 11th. I have a little incentive. I was told I have lung cancer. I have a lobectomy Sept. 1st. Had the lower left lobe of my lung removed. I am going through chemo now. This is NOT worth smoking. Never mind the cancer, the cure is NOT WORTH  SMOKING. I have a pretty good change for long term survival, but there is always the chance that it can come back. PLEASE do whatever you have to to quit smoking. YOU can do this. Believe in yourself.