Help. Feeling very down

[nnm2359]

Hi community friends. I'm on day 5 today. I'm looking for a job after 9 years of schooling (9 HARD years of no sleep, studying, and craziness), curently unemployed because I just finished my training 2 months ago, and I'm very down today. I've tried to maintain positivity during this quit. I mean reeeaaalllly tried. just can't get myself out of bed today.

The job search is tough. I can't pay my bills, my fiancee is covering it all right now. He's quitting too so I don't want to stress him out more and complain about how down I am...He is naturally very practical and logical so this seems to be easier for him. He tells me to just be patient and I'll find the job I've been working so hard to get. It just sucks to be unemployed and not have cigarettes (evil friends) here to keep me company. My family is really close with me but they live in another state. His family is amazing and lives here in the same city but it's just not like to I can go lay out all my baby crap on them. 

Oh yea, and ladies, I'm a little heavy on hormones right now if you know what I mean. Sorry guys, you can stop reading if this is too gross. but you should really GET OVER IT! Woman talk is appropriate when a girl needs help. Haha sorry that was a mini fight I just had with myself.

Ok, I'll go now. Some words of wisdoms, slaps in the face, tough love, sweet love, just random facts, whatever, anything may help right now. So lay it on me! 🙂

[Storm.3.1.14]

  A little voice in my head said, “Stormy, don’t read that next sentence. Any sentence that starts with ‘Oh yea, and ladies…’ can’t be good for a dude.” Well, silly me, I read it.

  Thank you so…very…much for that. 

  Anyway, I think it’s perfectly normal to feel down and mopey in your situation. And Day 5 and The Grief Cycle come with their own feelings of gloominess during Hell Week. (They don’t call it Blueberry Skies & Cotton Candy Clouds Week for a reason, you know?) HOWEVER, missy, I do think you are purposely eschewing (vocabulary word for the day) valuable lifelines that are available to you. The upbeat logic of your boyfriend and the amazingness (not a proper vocabulary word) of his family can both be wonderful tonics for the way you feel right now. Use them! They want you to beat this thing. They want to help and to listen. They want to be a part of your support team. Please, do NOT deprive them of that. That would be cruel.

  It’s only “laying out baby crap on them” if you do it BUT don’t ALLOW it to sink in and WORK and soothe and cheer you. Got it?

  Now, get up off the couch and run a brush through your hair. You look a sight.

[Pops]

OK let's see if I get this or not...You're well educated, unemployed, engaged, scared, resenting your "friend" this time around...and brand new to a quit of an imposter that has somehow convinced you that he/she/it is a friend.  Is that about it?

Well, let's start by sorting through some of the fiction, then deal with some of the reality...

First, congratulations on making what could be the most beneficial decision you could possibly have made in your present state of affairs.  That being to quit smoking.  If you are a smoker of the type that I was, you were probably smoking two packs per day.  If less then cut it in half, but you'll get the idea soon enough.  I was spending about $15 per day on smokes @ 2 packs per day.  ($7.50 per pack).  I quit 98 days ago...$1,470.00 that I haven't just burned up into thin air, never to see the money again...You can do your own math, but I think you will agree, that if you are worried about your finances and sense of self esteem...you most likely don't want to burn up needed $...only to make you feel worse about your decision making...not to mention worrying about what your betrothed may be thinking about the sanity of his soon to be wife???? As far as the unemployment goes, it sucks, the economy is tough right now, and competition is fierce.  You will need to be on your "A game" to beat out the competitors in todays' economy.  (No room for self doubts in your head when you are @ the interview table)  Plus sign coming here....you have someone who believes and loves you...That is so much more than alot of others have.  The average length of unemployment for those actively seeking work today is about three to four months according to all of the financial gurus chiming in on Wall Street these days.  (If they are correct...then you are better than two thirds of the way through this morass).  As far as the hormones go...well in a couple of days, that imposter of a friend will be gone for another cycle.

If you need help with your quit...then we are here to provide it.  N.O.P.E.  Not one puff ever.  Just say no, no matter what.  Read Dales blogs, read Allen Carrs' book.  Someone here will soon post the urls for both as I don't have them handy right now.  

Oh and by the way...hello!  My name is Pops, and I would love to welcome you to our loving family.  Please read alot and blog as often as you like.  We are here to listen and help.

Pops

[nnm2359]

Hahahah! Oh the storm has hit me! I needed it.  Thank you!

I love eschewing by the way, you sage community friend! 

[nnm2359]

Thanks Pops! You're right. 100%.

[linda.mustafa]

Dear lady I do understand perfectly !!

It is hard but who said it is going to be easy?!!

I can imagine how hard is to apply for jobs and get no response , however I'm certain something will come up if you don't give up.

You are very lucky to have a supportive fiancé who is going through this with you but with a more positive mind set .

When it comes to 'hormones' I totally understand , everything seems impossible but remember that last month you got through it victorious , so this month shouldn't be any different !!

Don't let the negative thoughts overwhelm your progress , keep moving forward determined .

As Mother Teresa said' Yesterday has gone, tomorrow has not yet come , we have only today . Let us begin!

All the best x

[Jennifer-Quit]

Hey there and welcome to the community!  You reached out to women but got two very good responces to your blog from two gentlemen!  All that I can really say is that it gets better.  Your feelings are all normal at this stage in your quit.  Just think how good you will feel going in for a job interview and not having to worry about smelling like an ashtray!  Hang in there - get up and go for a walk - it is amazing how good a walk can make you feel!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I'm sure if you went and bought a pack you'd get 20 phone calls for employment.

And you'd stink too!

Don't you know employers are looking for people who don't have to leave the room every hour? LOL

[nnm2359]

Thank you all for the reality checks, support, laughs, and sarcasm. Made for an interesting read on this gloomy afternoon for me. 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Yep. Smoking's not all babies, roses and apple pie like we thought it was.

[Junior7]

Welcome!  And congrats on five days!  Despite how you are feeling, you are doing this!

Hang in there!

[MarilynH]

You're doing fantastic,  even if you think you're not. You made it through 5 days, stay strong you can do this. 

[summer-07-06-15]

N. E. F. Never Ever Forget. Why go thru the start again. Don't N. E. F.  Go forward.

[Legend]

Yes I agree with what storm said let anyone that wants to support you do so it will make them feel special that you let them into your life to help you with this addiction. Dale has a good point about employers wanting smoke free employees. You are doing great you came here for support and you got some really good responses.  You will find a job in time keep looking every day.  Your fiancee sounds like a great guy you are very lucky to have found him.  You are doing great keep hanging in there it does get better. Stay busy to keep your mind on other things other than smoking.

[harry18]

Congratulations on five days and Congratulations for asking for help and giving us a chance to help you and I believe help is what you just got, all the above is awesome advice not much more for me to add just wanted you to know that i am here Hang in I know you can beat Nic, stay strong and stay close.

[nnm2359]

Hey everyone, thanks so much for all the posts yesterday. I read them, reread them, and got over it. The day came and went and now it's the next day. Feeling much better and have some positivity back. I read something great on Storm's wall about the soul knowing how to heal itself, you just have to quiet the mind. And shush the mind I DID! 

[joyeuxencore]

Hey there I am late to the blog but am glad to see today is a new day & you are feeling better! I love what evrybody wrote. This is such an amazing 24/7 support community.

I quit 660 days ago because of the support I got and continue to get. I never think about smoking anymore but I love being part of this place. I have actually met some folks here in real life a few times.

You are doing great...Stay close to the site...Have as many mini-fights with yourself as your little heart desires! That is what we are here for...

SO great you are quitting together to build a healthy life! xo