Having trouble quitting

[christy37]

I made the decision back in December to quit smoking after reading "the Easyway" by Allan Carr. It took me until February 2012 to even attempt to quit. I did everything I about preparing to quit; set a quit date, told all my family and friends, etc. I only lasted 48 hours. Since then I have attempted to quit almost on a weekly basis. I have read and tried so many quit smoking aids and books, I don't even know if I could list them all. I also fail because of the the doubting my decision to quit or my timing to quitting. I also cannot seem to convince myself that I do not enjoy smoking and want to become a non-smoker. Logically, it makes no sense to me to continue smoking, but I am obviously missing a huge part of the puzzle otherwise I would not keep failing in my attempts to quit.

Please, if you have any insight or advice, I would greatly appreciate it. 

Thank you,

Christy

[newlife5]

just stop smoking... if the withdraws are too bad get some help like patches...i keep failing too ..but then i remember that i want to quit more than i want to smoke and it keeps me strong....

its a life style change .. so you have to keep on hanging in there...you didnt start smoking in a day.. so you have to work at it... minute by minute   hour by hour... hang in there

[rachel65]

I dont think you are doubting your decision to quit..I think it`s the crave letting you feel like you dont want to. every smoker wants to quit. it`s an addiction and the addict you is stopping you... and unfortunatly there is nothing logical about the addicts voice whispering and shouting at you to have another cigarette.

you have to find a way to get the nicotine out of your system.That means lasting three days without smoking and then you have to re-enforce your decision and never smoke again....but you have to take it one crave at a time. It is not easy. if it was nobody would smoke. It will be the best thing you ever did,

If you are really not sure if you want to quit. write down reasons why you want to stay a smoker and reasons why you would want to quit. Let me know what you decide.

Keep in touch with the site and read other peoples blogs.

Rachel.

[Ex_Nancy]

Forget about your past quits and dig deep within....what reason is it that causes to to keep going back? You may have read Alan Carr's book but, you didn't understand it...find out what part by re-reading....Nothing will change until YOU change your way of thinking.

The most important thing you can do for your quit now is to educate yourself about the addiction and the mind games it plays on us....READ,READ,READ for a successful quit...the more you read, the easier it is...

CHOOSE to quit smoking, not try. Educate yourself by reading these links to the materials that most of us have used to help us quit and STAY quit! This is about making a DECISION to never put another cigarette in your mouth, mean it, and be committed to follow through on that decision. Also allow NO excuses AND hang in there for as long as it takes, no matter how uncomfortable you become.... This is about re-learning your life WITHOUT cigarettes....start changing your "normal" routine....because a smoker's routine revolves around cigarettes. You will be a nonsmoker so change how you start your morning so it doesn't revolve around cigarette breaks, etc. You CAN do this! ....http://digg.com/newsbar/topnews/Allen_Carr_s_Easy_Way_To_Stop_Smoking_Download_free_PDF

http://quitsmokingonline.com

[Connie55]

So have you tired writing a list of the reasons you want to smoke versus the reasons you don't? Here was my list

Why should I smoke?

1. helps with stress

2. calm my insecurity and fears

3. its my private time

4. its my relaxation/thinking time

Why should I quit?

1. my chest hurts

2. I feel bad

3. My mother has COPD from it

4. I want to live lond enough to spend all the money I am socking away in 401k

5. poor oral health and vein health

6. other health issues starting (bladder, skin, teeth, vascular)...etc

So after making this list, I started knocking down the reasons whay I wanted to smoke by addressing them one by one.....

1. helps with stress- really? Are we sure we aren't having stress because we are having a nic fit? Did cigarettes ever take away my stress like the last time I started smoking again when my nephew was murdered? Did lighting up a cigarette bring him back to life?

2. calm my insecurity and fears- what the hell am I afraid of? I think I am just afraid of facing life without cigarettes. what the heck is wrong with me? I know some pretty shallow and stupid people in my circle of aquaintenances that have stopped smoking. Are they smarter or stronger than me? what the hell am I afraid of that they are not?

3. its my private time- really? is there absolutely no other way I can make people get the heck away from me and leave me alone. Oh, I just bet I can find HUNDREDS of other ways to get private time that don't make my chest hurt every morning. why should I kill  myself just to get private time? What a lame excuse to smoke!

4. its my relaxation/thinking time- again really? this is pretty lame. I really prefer to relax laying out on Indian Rocks beach or floating in my pool. So like if I was in a really stressful situation, like my car breaking down on a highway and I had no cell phone, just simply smoking a cigarette would relax me and make everything all better?

So this was my pros and cons list. Once I made it, I set about destroying my reasons to keep smoking. If all else fails, read Joanne Lucci's blog detailing her life with COPD. This is as real as it gets. Your playing Russian Roulette if you don't quit. http://joannesjourneyforlungs.wordpress.com/2012/03/04/living-to-breath-my-2nd-chance-at-life/

What are you afraid of? Nothing bad is going to happen if you let the smokes go.

[ShawnP]

you have to really want to stop! Everytime you get that nicotine fit, just keep telling yourself that you do not need this, its not worth it!!! the more you say that, the more you will believe it.

[Breakinchains]

Aids like books and patches are nice, don't get me wrong, and they do provide SUPPORT, but they don't quit for you. YOU are the one who has to do the work. The work talked about here is not smoking, and finding lifestyle changes to fill up the time you used to take up with smoking. Work is also saying no to every craving. You can't just read a book and successfully quit, it takes more effort than that. We also tell people on this site that if you are having a bad craving, and you think you might be vulnerable to lighting up, come on the site and blog about it. You should get some support within a few minutes, as there is always someone online here 24/7 to help. You can do this.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

you've confused yourself looking for the magic bullet when its right in front of you.

get rid of all tobacco, do not allow yourself access to it,

do not think you can drink alcohol and keep your quit, it's a silly idea

[christy37]

Thank you Rachel and Izzy for your replies. I know it seems like such a stupid question, but I feel so weak against this addiction. I really appreciate both of you taking the time to reply.

Rachel, I have been afraid to approach quitting with the thought that if I last _ days, I will be able to stay quit. Maybe that is what I am doing wrong in my attempts? I do feel like this addict part of me is controlling my every actions and thoughts. It seems like everytime I find something that helps with my cravings, there is something inside me that sabotashes my efforts. 

I am trying to figure out my next approach. Do I set a date or just throw away the smokes and start now? I have tried and failed at both. I really want to take my next quit seriously and not doubt my timing, but the kids will be out for summer in a week and the addict is telling me I will never survive summer without smoking. I really do not want to wait 3 months to quit smoking.

Thanks again for being patient with me and giving me your insight. It really means a lot.

Good luck to both of you!! You should be very proud!!

Christy

[christy37]

Wow!!! I am amazed by the replies!! I have tried quit on another forum but rarely ever got any replies when I needed them the most. Of course I used the lack of replies as an excuse to smoke. 

I love everyone's honesty. I feel like I really do need a good butt kicking right now. Get off my pity party and just do it!!!  I am going to thoroughly read everyone's comments and advice. 

Nancy- you are right for some reason I do not truely get everything in Allan Carr's book, but I have read it 5 times, plus watched the You Tube of it. Logically, it all makes sense to me but, the addict in me is overriding any logical thoughts.

Connie-  yes all of your pros and cons really hit home for me, very very similar to mine. It is sad that I have made a list too but have not looked at it since I wrote it. Duh, and I wonder why I keep failing. Thank you, thank you

Breakthe chains- you are right I am obviously looking for something to quit for me and it just doesn't exist. I have to do the work!!

jonilu- I agree I have a lot more work to do in that area. Other than the peace and serenity I feel when I'm by myself smoking and it is what i have come to know,I can't think of any other reason I enjoy smoking.

[smurfet]

Ive quit several times. More than I would like to admit. the thing that prepared me to get through the 3 days was about a month before I quit I just kept telling myself smoking was stupid, it was killing me and costing money. I kept telling myself I hate smoking. Then after Ive been quit for 3 days Ive realized it will be choice if I go back, a really bad choice. But quitting was my idea. and to think about going through the withdrawls again would be stupid. You know that smoking is stupid, and killing you. we all did. but we are addicts and everyone is right the addict is the one telling you that its the wrong time, or your not ready or you cant. But once the fog clears and its out of your system its then going to be up to you. you have to make that decision. you can do this. We can do this.Dont think on all the negative thoughts that fall into your head. Every time you have a negative thought stop it by saying your not giving in and that you are not picking up another cigarette. Im not killing myself any more! Come make that decision, you can do it. You have this site!!!  

[Ex_Nancy]

Studt whyquit.com on my page...it has videos and reading. Now look at these and find out WHY you keep making excuses...

Why Do People Continue to Smoke?

Are You a Nicotine Junkie?

"I Smoke Because I Like Smoking!"

"I Smoke Because I'm Self-Destructive"

You Smoke Because You’re a Smoke-a-holic!

"Why I Continue to Smoke"

How Would You Deal With the Following Situation?

Smoking Is How You Deal With Stress

"I Have Smoked for So Long and So Much, What is the Use in Quitting Now?"

"I Think I Have Cancer, Now I Can Smoke Again!"

The Power of Advertising

A Safer Way to Smoke

Are You Smoking More and Enjoying it Less?

Quitting Smoking - A Fate Worse than Death?

Quitting By Gradual Withdrawal

"I Can't Quit" or "I Won't Quit"

"Why did I start smoking?" "Why did I quit?"

[Lonita]

To quit smoking never take another puff off that nasty cigarette.  Only you can do that. One of my favorite quotes from Peggy.  

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.

 You have recieved alot of great advice but you must relearn how to live without smoking.

How do you do that. Never take another puff again for any reason.  It's that easy.  A friend reminded me how life is hard and sometimes we make it harder on ourselves than it really is. 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Hey Sooooos

You sure want to talk yourself out of this don't you?

"I can't see myself making it through the summer without smoking"

GET A GRIP

THERE IS NEVER A GOOD TIME TO QUIT!

LIFE GOES ON

[christy37]

Well it's kind of hard not talking yourself out of setting a quit date when all of the "experts" advise that you plan your quit around the least stressful time. It does not exist! I agree there will never be a good time to quit. This has been my main problem, I always think I can quit tommorrow. It's pathetic, I know. 

If I was trying to talk myself out of quitting, I wouldn't be here, would I;)

[JonesCarpeDiem]

There's the experts who make of this crap and then theres the ones who know there is no good time to quit.

Remember, they are trying to take you through their program.

Quitting is about stopping smoking not trying to figure 150 different ways of doing it.

I'm not riding you, don't get me wrong but the way you talk, you've already decided to smoke all summer.

This is what we do. We put it off. and then

We put it off some more...

[christy37]

Yes I have been putting it off for 3 months now, always thinking tomorrow will be easier. It never is, if anything, I have put it off until the most stressful time for me to quit. It's so ridiculous, I feel stupid admitting it. I think I have worked through most my reasons for failing. I'm down to 1: doubting my timing. I need to keep to whatever date, I choose to quit. Tommorrow or Sunday? 

I looked at your profile and saw that you smoked your last cigarette in the morning. Hmm might give that one a try. 

Thanks for your input. Believe me, I need it.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Yes, many believe they should quit at midnight and whatever happens in the morning,

well, whatever happens. LOL

I decided that first one of the morning that we all crave the most and really set ourselves up for would be the one to smoke last. It actually worked

But you can't have any around after that. It's a one shot deal and you really do have the rest of the day and night to start retraining your addict body to STFU.

And i avoided the store where I bought my smokes. Never went back.

These are real common sense things in my opinion.

I feel the easiest way to approach this for me was to have common sense and figure out simple things to distract me when I craved.

One of the best things is to step outside yourself and watch when you crave.

It's kind of pathetic to see but it really keeps your quit in gear.

And we need to know how much it controlled us to make the committment.

[rmcfadden88]

Amen!  What everybody else said!  YOU have to want to quit, YOU have to decide never to take another puff - EVER, YOU have to be committed (if you're like I was, maybe you NEED to be committed! LOL).  Ultimately, it all boils down to YOU.

Unlike Dale, I decided to quit at midnight.  I actually smoked my last one around 11 p.m. that night, gave the balance of my pack to my (still smoking) hubby and never looked back.  Was it really just that easy? Noooo.  Some days it is still quite a great struggle to stay quit.  And, nooo, there is no easy way or better time to quit!  It's sort of like when will be a good time to have a baby, buy that house, car, etc.  If you look at it like that, you may possibly NEVER quit.

It is a constant struggle (some days, especially) to stay quit - even long after the nicotine is out of your system.  Keep in mind, this is an Addiction and YOU are an addict!

After almost 30 days of staying quit, I now see some of the bad things that were happening to me physically and mentally because of smoking.  Now I can BREATHE!  I can SMELL! (Not always a good thing - lol) And - - - I can actually THINK so much better!  And I can reason better!  No more slogging along in my smoke-addled mind!

YOU can do it, too!  YOU just have to decide!  (What have you got to lose, really?) You won't believe what you will gain until you JUST DO IT!

And like all the others told you, we're always here.  At all hours, every day, somebody is here to "talk" to!

You CAN DO this!!!

[christy37]

Thank you rmcfadden88. Yep it's time to do this. No more excuses, no more postponing quit dates!! All of you have inspired me to take the plunge and set a final quit date. I'm quitting this Monday, Memorial Day. No ifs ands or butts about it. Lol! This is probably the best quit date I can pick. Anytime, I feel weak, I remember what those brave soldiers had to go through, no room for a pity party on my behalf. 

Thank you again everyone! Actually looking forward to freedom!

Christy

[Connie55]

yay for your quit in advance! I am at 120 days quit after 32+ years of smoking. It is no longer a daily struggle for me like it was in the beginning. I actually rarely ever even think about it anymore except to come here and try to help others. This is the only time smoking enters my mind but cravings NEVER do anymore. All that quit for me after the first 8 weeks. The first few days were a bit tough but each and every hour, each and every day that goes by, the craves get less ferquent and less intense. As each day passed by, I became more and more surprised at just how mild the withdrawal symptoms were for me and how easily I actually handled each crave. I wish I would have known this 20 years ago. I don't know what the heck I was afraid of. That irrational fear was just the damn chemicals in my system controlling me. It was not real but I didn't know that until I came here. Just hang in there with us through those first few days and weeks. You will only regret NOT quitting.

What a great gift you are giving yourself and your children. You will be alive to see them graduate, get married, hace children of theor own....etc. Think of all the wonderful things that are in store for you when your thoughts and your body are no longer being poisoned and controlled by a chemical substance.