Haven't stopped quitting

[elizabeth101]

First blog.  I think writing will help this time with this quit.  Technically, I quit back in October and joined this forum.  However, I continued to "slip up" and finally just gave in today to an entirely fresh start--calling a spade a spade.  No more "slip ups" I simply do not want smoking to be part of my lifestyle anymore! Time, money, health, self esteem.  Control.  A paper roll filled with tobacco running my life and time? Ludicris.

I placed my 14 mg patch on this morning, (in October I was at the 21 mg, so there is progress!) and I am hoping, later in this day, I will be fully aware of how much it is "hugging my skin" if I go to peel it off so I can buy a pack of smokes and smoke a cig.  This happened before, and tearing off a patch when it seems as if it cares so much to help me is thought provoking.

Sticking with the patch. Today. Just today.  Cravings ain't nothing but a thing. Squish 'em.

Help me stay quit, folks. Thank you.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I used the patch. when I forgot to wear it two days in a row, I stopped using it. That was over eight years ago.

Don't become psychologically dependent upon the patch. If you are aware, It's better to just unlearn the hand to mouth motion for a bit. I learned to laugh out loud when I got the thought of smoking. I thought, "smoking is only a decision" and it made me laugh. From then on It was like "No, you thoughts can't make me smoke." In a week, whenever I though of smoking, I automatically thought of laughing. See how we can change our mindset?

Just living without smoking until it isn't on your mind any longer. That's what this is all about.

[hampton]

I suggest that you keep reading,writing,changing things around....anything but smoking will do. I personally quit thousands of times in the past. I tried ev erything you could think of to replace the habbit and contriol of this nasty drug. This time around I joined this site and also wanted to get other things in my life that was controlling me to no end. control in my book is an evilness that comes from the devil!!!!  I no-longer will allow anything that control's the way I want to live,breath,think,feel etc. I'm in control of all situations.yes,it sucks but Who else will or can change this but our own selves?1 you can do this.I am proud to hear that you haven't given up!!! One foot in front of the other. we can do this together.:)

[hampton]

P.S. I quit COLD TURKEY this last final quit.Deborah...

[Jennifer-Quit]

A fresh start is good - Congratulations on making the decision.  I used the patch and did not become  dependent on it in any way at all.  There is nothing wrong with using the patch in the manner and for the time frame that it is recommended to be used.  Nothing (cold turkey, patch, gum, hypnosis) works unless you have made up your mind to ride out the temptations and/or craves.  Reading and educating myself about this addiction was a huge help to me.  Also the support that I received on this site has been tremendously helpful.  Stay close and keep in touch here!

Jennifer 262 DOF

[elizabeth101]

Thank you for all your input.  I was on a successful quit for 2 years--2 years ago.  At that time, I used the patch, tapered off, and never looked back. I recall feeling so free!  And one "innocent" night with a friend in from out of town, he said "let's buy a pack of smokes" and have been rangling with this quit ever since.  Ridiculous.  I want to experience that freedom again.  Oh, and so many other things.  Support here is great!

[ShawnP]

Blogging helps get your thoughts out where others can give you input to help. I think trying it this way will help you greatly. Keep blogging and stay close to the site. You can do this!

[Thomas3.20.2010]

I agree with Shawn! By putting your thoughts out here you can have a reality check as to what is Addictive thinking and what is Freedom thinking! That's porbably the trickiest part of quitting no matter what aids you use! Your Brain can learn a new perspective about Nicotine that will help you to get and stay Free!

[annb]

Good for you Elizabeth coming back!!! I think I remember "seeing" you before. Just keep moving forward and don't quit quitting!!!!

[elizabeth101]

Yesterday I fiddled with my patch when I got off work. It was securely on my forearm, and yet I found a little loose spot. I began testing it, tugging, seeing if it would budge, and it did.  I slowly, reluctantly peeled it off and went and bought a pack of smokes. LOSER.  I have been told people who smoke hate themselves, and while I do not believe this is truly the case with me, perhaps there is some truth to that...hate themselves/myself for smoking. ?!   Now I have 18 cigarettes in my posession.  I know I will not throw them away because I am an American Spirit Lights SNOB. (stupid, I know)

Why is this final quit so difficult for me?  In my mind, I haven't stopped quitting like I said before, it's just that I continue to slip up and smoke some.  I can barely deal with this and it is such a simple thing--just QUIT.  Hard day.  Clearly, I don't want this quit bad enough at this point.  Struggling. Help.

[elizabeth101]

I am going to read this I saw posted on another message board.  http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

[elvan]

Wet the cigarettes down and tear them up.  You CANNOT keep a quit if you have them there.  Believe me, I had many failed quits because the cigarettes were there.  When I quit last January, I had 8 packs left in a carton, a partial pack that was opened, and a stack of coupons for $3 off a carton.  I wet down the open pack and bagged up the coupons and the partial carton and gave them to someone I KNEW would not quit and who smoked the same brand.  She is still smoking.

Only YOU can take care of this quit, Elizabeth, only YOU can throw it away.  Remember how you felt when you quit for that long quit, you have to go through some discomfort to get to that point.  Consider these to be your labor pains.

Please hang in there and read all you can about addiction because that is what this is, we are all junkies here.  Post a blog with HELP in the title, you will get lots of support from people who have been where you are now.

NEVER, EVER keep smoking supplies around, make it as inconvenient as possible to smoke, go somewhere that you CAN'T smoke, that would be just about anywhere these days, bite into a lemon, rind and all, stick your head in the freezer.  Craves only last a couple of minutes, you need to push the reset button in your head.  Craves are going to come and go whether you smoke or not...you don't have to fight them, just be aware of them and don't give your "baby" away!

[elizabeth101]

I am going to go purchase a big bowl of lemons today!  Not only do they look beautiful in a big bowl on the counter, but I love lemons, the zest, oil, taste.  That is a great suggestion. 

My last lengthy quit, I did in fact smoke the last entire carton, hating everysingle one of them and was soooo ready to be done.  The sheer continuation of smoking, I believe enhanced my desire to quit that much more.  I honestly can say, I will not likely wet the remaining 18 cigs down--now, giving them away is a different story.  May have to make some calls.  I cannot thank you all enough for being here for me.  I was thinking of you all last night.  And again this morning--I am not giving up this quit.

RESETTING.  Thank you!