Hanging on

[cpsono]

I want to thank everyone who responded to my blog about the death of my dog.  My husband I have spent the weekend coping when we must and the rest of the time breaking down in tears.  This is one of the saddest things I've ever gone through.  Grady was like a child to us and I know I must mourn him for as long as it takes. I have to go back to work tomorrow, and therefore I must present my professional demeanor.  I have thought about smoking many times this weekend.  The pull has been strong for me to go and buy a pack.  Not because I think it will make things better, but because I'm searching for anything that will be a balm to my broken heart, however temporary.  I haven't done it and I'm not going to do it.  It's OK to think about it, not OK to act upon it.  By spending time daily here since the beginning of my quit, I have seen many of my fellow exers going through all sorts of trials: losing jobs, losing homes, deaths of loved ones, health problems, and yes loss of beloved pets.  And you haven't smoked over it.  And I won't either, because you all have given me the tools and the strength to NEVER go back there again.  My heart will heal in time; I know that.  I won't give up my quit and coming here blogging makes me even more resolute about that.  Thank you all so much for being here for me. CP

[JACKIE1-25-15]

We are here for you as you are for us.  This too shall pass as they say.  Another trial in life that you are going through just to know that you can get through it without smoking is monumental.   God bless you and your family at this time of loss of your beloved pet Grady.  It is okay to grieve.  It is okay to cry.  With the quit we have to learn to do things differently when we don't smoke.  It is all a learning experience.  You will get through with a new awareness about yourself and your quit.  Hang tight here and don't let go. You are important to us.  We got your back. 

[HealthyOrange]

I'm so very sorry to hear about you losing Grady, CP. I know it's tough.  May you find new ways to love, honor and comfort yourself through this challenging time.  So glad you blogged and got your feelings out.  A huge cyber hug to you!  xoxo Jamie

[Kay64]

I am so glad you understand that smoking will only make things worse dealing with this loss.  Tragedies are so difficult but now you have other tools to deal with this loss.  I found walking to help, pacing, rocking in a rocking chair, cooking, making a craft, listening to music, doodling, coloring in the adult color books are other ideas.  Now is the time to concentrate on what will help you cope in a healthy way.  You can do this and time helps.  Blogging definitely helped me get out my feelings.  Take care!

[YoungAtHeart]

Kay has presented you with excellent ideas.  If you walk - try to find a route you didn't take with Grady - but walking is an excellent healing activity.

My heart is heavy for you,

Nancy

[joedice711]

words can only say just so much .so sorry for the lost of your grady. i really do feel for you in my heart. take care of yourself and whatever we are all here for you.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Hugs to you and your family.

Pets are family. Just ask Hoggie. He runs the show.               

[Giulia]

Simply look up into the night sky and find Sirius.  It is the brightest star in our universe. and known as the Dog Star.  Grady's right there gamboling freely about and shining his stellar dust particles throughout the constellation.

You make a good point.  Many times we want a smoke, not to solve the problem so much as relieve our emotional pain.  To fill up the empty piece of our hearts.  A salve for the senses.  Of course a cigarette doesn't do that either.  A cigarette does nothing really to help heal us but everything to harm us. 

Going back to work will probably help take you mind off Grady.  And that's not a bad thing.  ♥, G

[swilson2]

also lost a beloved furbaby a little more than a year ago she was shot and killed by a deer hunter her name was Myla, we miss her still today she was tender and caring, she proteced her family from danger and played ball for hour's. rip dear friend.

[CatsRsmart]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am not a dog owner. My dad sure was. He would bring his dog everywhere. Now, I am a cat person. We had 2 indoor/outdoor cats when we moved here almost 3 years ago. Very soon after, they were gone. Our neighbors explained we have coyotes and that was probably what happened. I was heartbroken and did not want to take another. With some coaxing, we went to the shelter and adopted abandoned kittens, (brother & sister). They are inside only and very protected. I love them both dearly. Now my story is not meant to imply get another animal and get over it, at all. It is meant to express I can relate to the loss (as much as a cat lover can). I do not know why this life here is so short sometimes, but I do believe God made animals for us to love and enjoy. Stay strong. Protect your quit. I agree,smoking is not going to make anything better........don't all dogs go to heaven???

[Rick_M]

Sorry for your loss. Remember the good times.....I am sure there was many. Smoking never fixed nothing....

[MarilynH]

Pets are definitely our family and our loss is great and we need to take the time to heal. (((((Huge caring cyber Hug for you CP ♡)))))

Marilyn 

[TerrieQuit]

I am thinking of you and your husband, CP! Pet's are definately family!

[Strudel]

Your strength shines through - I know you will continue to protect your precious quit!

Here is a poem I have saved about pet loss.....Giulia's comment made me remember it. 

"And if I go, 

  while you're still here... 

  Know that I live on, 

  vibrating to a different measure 

  --behind a thin veil you cannot see through. 

  You will not see me, 

  so you must have faith. 

  I wait for the time when we can soar together again, 

  --both aware of each other. 

  Until then, live your life to its fullest. 

  And when you need me, 

  Just whisper my name in your heart, 

  ...I will be there."

[elvan]

My heart just aches for you, when I lost my three beloved cats in the fire along with my home and all of my possessions, people were amazed that I did not smoke.  Somehow, it never occurred to me.  I was so devastated and I KNEW that I would have to deal with the grief at some point, as painful as it is, it is much better to deal with it than to try to stuff it down with smoking.   

You are doing everything right, your beloved Grady is always going to be with you.

Hugs,

Ellen

[kristen-9-7-15]

Oh I just feel so bad for you. I know the pain is terrible. I'm so proud of you for not smoking. Hang in there.

[NewMe]

Wish there was something I could do to make it easier. I'm glad you did not give in to your thoughts of smoking- we only Thought smoking helped make us feel better. I also cherish the love and support that can be found here at Ex. Know that we are grieving for your loss as well, and will try our very best to do whatever we can to help you get through this . Sending thoughts of healing and Hugs your way.

[bonniebee]

It is soooooooo sad I know how you must miss Grady having lost two dogs in the past myself I  have wonderful  memories .

I know it is very soon to think of a new pup but to tell you the truth When I lost my Chantilly me and my teenage son  Gabe were so heartbroken. It happened the week before Christmas and I," thought this hurts so much I never want to go through it again " BUT Gabe and I were so depressed and grief stricken over her loss that I began to see the only way to really begin healing was to get a new dog ...  ....someday . That someday came sooner then I thought. An aquaintance that had a dog from the same litter as mine had  heard about our loss and had also seen a dog at the pound who looked very much like mine  (a golden /lab mix )and it needed a home .....long story short I went to see it and it was love at first site..... and then came Chloe !

Chloe is gone now too and now I have little Jonah. Pets are so wonderful and do help to heal the heart, Chloe went through the death of my son with me . She was a quiet companion and she needed me so I had to keep it together for her sake she pulled me through the darkest days of my life and I cherish her memory .  

Grady will be with you in your soul and mind forever because he has been an important part of your life and  so loved by you.

[bonniebee]

oh PS......I am so glad you did not smoke it is tempting to smoke ,looking as you said for a balm but Think  how awful you would feel messing up your quit and still feeling just as much hurt  anyway ! You will get through this CP you are strong !

[Junior7]

So sorry for your loss! I smoked when my soulmate/beagle Fred died, and it took me about a year to get back on track with my quit.   It's not worth it.  I would say, don't dwell on the smoking thoughts...they lead in the wrong direction.  I am sure Grady is playing at Rainbow Bridge.