Had a couple hits.

[2019steph]

Got my daughter to a nap, had to fix the garbage disposal and she woke up before I could even get the pipe wrench to it. I know she needs me next to her to sleep most of the time but I have so much to do I have full time homework house work and sometimes jobs as a sub teacher. But the sheer anger that rose in my whole being when she woke up 2 minutes after I left the room was unbearable so I lit a smoke and took a couple hits (in the garage I don't smoke near her or inside). I'm still angry and still have a tired fucking child that won't let me get away from her for even a second day or night. And now I ruined day 3. I really need her to learn to sleep without me. I try consoling myself by saying she'll only be so young for do long and will gain Independence and won't need me so much but I really need the time she sleeps for other things. She's a year and a half.

[YoungAtHeart]

I might talk to her pediatrician for advice on how to reduce the time you are with her. It may take some time to get her adjusted, but I think she will, in time.   You DO need some time to get things done.

But - I want you to think about how much those hits did to make anything better that a few marching in place minutes would not also have given you.  Quitting smoking is all about learning to deal DIFFERENTLY with life's stressors.  You do currently have more than your share, but smoking will NOT make any of it better.

Let's start again, but make a plan now for what you will do the next time you get angry.  Will you take some slow/deep breaths?  Maybe count backwards from 1,000?  Maybe march in place?  Come here and blog "HELP!?"

Let's DO it this time!

[2019steph]

Just sucks because I am an early childhood educator but implementing developmentally appropriate practice at home is different than being in the classroom. And I love her busy, little, curious, active soul. 

[Roj]

Oops...well you absolutely described your reason to quit...that little girl that isn’t staying asleep long enough for you to fix the disposal...just read more and set a new quit date...if you want it, you can do it!!!! I smoked for 46 years and it took a COPD diagnosis to get me to stop my outside smoking...please please don’t wait until then. The thought I may be gone by this self inflicted disease before I am a grandmother breaks my heart...but I’m now a proud non smoker trying to hang on to the lungs I have left so I may say grandchildren someday....quit for that little girl and talk to a sleep coach about getting her to sleep without you or just google it.... it’s hard but can be done quickly

[2019steph]

I've done so much sleep research that my brains over loaded!! There are so many ways of gently sleep training. Gentle takes a long time, I can't let her cry by herself, I hear that's the fastest way.

[2019steph]

And Roj, I hope that you find out you'll be a grandparent soon!! In the mean time I have an article/t recipe helps, detox lungs you can try. I'll find it and share it here.

[Roj]

It took me 3 days to train my son to self sooth and sleep...by crying it out...it was HORRIBLE on me but but guess what? Crying doesn’t hurt them at all and I guarantee she won’t remember...I literally had to turn off the monitor and turn up the music, but it works....and once they do it, they are much more rested as are you. Hang in there.

[2019steph]

https://lunginstitute.com/blog/recipes-for-lung-detox/

[beazel]

It has to be frustrating - hope you can get the sleep thing solved.

Please get rid of the cigarettes - you can't smoke 'em if ya ain't got 'em.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Having a child that won't sleep is frustrating. Life is frustrating but, you must learn to cope without smoking.

I know it was our go to for everything but that all must be unlearned and it seems impossible at this point, but believe us, you can do it.

I don't know your situation as far as having cigarettes around but if you're quitting smoking, it's probably a bad idea.

You can't smoke if they aren't around.

[Barbscloud]

Sorry to hear that, but it can still be done.  Get right back on track.  Other's can cause us a great deal of stress because we feel we can't "control" the situation.  Actually, we never can control someone else's behavior.  That's why the serenity prayer is so meaningful.   Someone had me so upset this morning that smoking crossed my mind.  Instead, I went into the bedroom and screamed as loud as could.  Hopefully, the neighbors didn't hear me.  Have you spoken to anyone for some help to resolve this issue?   And, as Dale said, you just can't have cigarettes around-especially so early in you quit.  We're here to support you.  Reach out next time before you smoke.  I know it save me several times early in my quit.

Barb

[2019steph]

I was surprised it was out there, my boyfriend left it because he knows it's been hard lately, but they're gone now. At least while he's at work.

[2019steph]

I know I didn't even want to smoke it, it was more of a habit or a reflex

[2019steph]

I haven't touched one since!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

So tell him that doesn't work.

[beazel]

Sorry, I didn't realize you live with a smoker.

Hope you two can have a serious talk and work something out as far as his cigarettes are concerned (I would buy a lock box for him to keep them in Lol) It has to be a challenge to live with a smoker - thank heaven my husband quit 37 years ahead of me.

[Barbscloud]

There are a number of posts on the site about "living with a smoker".  You might want to take a  look a them.  I'm sure it can't be easy, but always remember this is your quit.

Barb

[2019steph]

Hey thanks, I'll look into them.