Goodbye cigarettes!

[delosboard]

Dear cigarettes,

I'm writing to inform you that we will soon be parting ways. We met in college and I thought you helped me through a tough time - now I realize you were only making things tougher.

I'm tired of you! You steal money from me, you steal my time, and you're ruining my health. Our relationship was never healthy, but it's become untenable. The anxiety you cause is all-consuming. I can't live like this any longer.

I want my life back. I want to go on dates and not smell like an ashtray. I want pocket money that doesn't immediately go to Phillip Morris. I no longer wish to fear if that pain in my chest is a heart attack.

Prepare and beware. I'm banishing you from my life!